SO answers the phone:
“Dummy woke up with a migraine. It’s one of those walk-the-floor, puke-with-dry-heaves headaches. I’m not letting him go anywhere.”
~VOW
Reading this thread with interest. Some of it can be used to get out of the office get-together for the holidays.
I think you should go. This is the stuff of epic family stories.
I haven’t read the thread. But has anyone said “im having an outbreak of explosive herpes” yet?
“So sorry, I’m having an emergency appendectomy that day.”
Tell them you have incredibly painful shingles and you can’t leave the house.
“We’ve made plans with some friends for that day.” If questioning persists, just say that some friends will be entertaining you and some other friends. Plans were made a month or more ago, and backing out now is not an option. But hey, you hope everybody has a great time at the family gathering, and that you’re looking forward to hearing about it later.
What you need is something that will not only get you out of THIS Day of No Fun but future invites of the same type. And since this is family, it’s not as easy to brush people off with vague lines about how you can’t make it.
So I recommend a variation of the truth: “Sorry, but a lot of commotion in a small space makes me claustrophobic and headachy. But I hope you all have a great time!” Over and out.
I like nelliebly’s “claustrophobic and headachy” excuse, because it’s true. Then you can call during the event and get the phone passed around to a few people so you can say you’re sorry you weren’t able to go. You can also say you don’t feel “up” to making the trip, which is true, but vaguely suggests you’re sick.
I would avoid saying you have alternate plans. That seems to me to be a lie that is worse than just saying you can’t handle being there.
They have plans. It just doesn’t involve going anywhere. Plans that involve a romantic TV dinner for two are still plans, and I would defend such a plan, if it’s what myself and my SO had been looking forward to.
This Christmas, I’ve straight up told my family that we’re fed up with driving up and down the country while everyone else stays at home waiting for our arrival, and so this year we plan to stay home á deux. I was more polite than that, but that is ‘our plan’.
I’m with the ‘we have plans’ camp. You can be vague and unpersuadable. I’ve used this many times for events I don’t fancy.
My issue with “I have plans” is the perception that those plans you now have were made after the family ‘day after turkey day’ was planned and communicated to DummyGladHands. It’s one thing to say you cannot participate in their event, it’s a different thing to say you recently decided to attend a better event.
AACCCKKKKKKK!!!
[threadhijack]
nelliebly, under no circumstances, are you EVER AGAIN to use the phrase “over and out.”
This nasty bit of radio lingo is WRONG. Usage has been perpetuated by movies and TV.
shuddering
As a child, I endured listening to my father, who was a WW2 vet and retired after 20 years in the Air Force, argue with TV shows and war movies. Proper radio protocol is “over,” or “out.”
Then I further complicated my TV and movie watching by marrying a career Army man, who also argued about improper radio protocol perpetuated by Hollywood. Fun times were indeed had when trying to watch TV with BOTH men in the room!
Should any Hollywood-educated person get on any radio communication device and actually say “over and out,” his or her ears would ring for days because everyone on that net would blast explicit instructions on correct communication.
[/threadhijack]
~VOW
Norovirus. People leave you alone if you have this.
Forget the lie; do what I did: move 850 miles away.
"Hey, the good news is that Joey-D is Finally going to be gone from our city. I’m testifying against him.
… the bad news is, this is good bye. Witness protection. See ya…! "
I seem to have inadvertently hit a nerve on the least important line of the post. I understand how frustrating popular [mis]usage can be, so I’ll make sure to avoid that phrase,
I am lucky enough to have a mostly decent family, so I may be failing to empathize. Would it be possible to be there at 4 - exactly and then leave at 4:30, because you “have tickets” and need to leave right away and are terribly, terribly sorry that you can’t continue to enjoy the day with them? Splitting the difference? And you get credit for trying?
Otherwise, you have tickets and can’t go.
I’m amazed that they haven’t picked up on the obvious fact that you can’t stand them. LOL
Why would that be the case? If I actually had plans before receiving an invitation to something, I would say “I have plans.” This is true even if my plans involve sleeping in, reading books, and eating leftovers while lounging in my pajamas all day.
Even if they do think you made other plans after being aware of the invite, ISTM that it’s not the worst thing for them to be aware that you just don’t want to attend an event. If they’re the kind of insecure people who get pissy about how you’re different from them and have a different set of likes and dislikes, and by your refusal to validate their set of likes and dislikes by engaging in the same activity they do, well, that’s their problem.
I did that, in 1971. They were all in D.C. They’ve since followed me, in dribs and dabs, but they’re all here now. I weep. It used to just take a jolly phone call and a card :dubious: