At the end of this month, I am taking part in a Victorian theme weekend/fair/fun day - I shall be playing the part of a fictional inventor named Oswald P White and inviting patrons to have their portrait captured and printed in timely fashion utilising my famous machine - the Patent Reliable Photo-Automato-Graph.
(there never was such a man or machine, of course; the bellows camera on its faux rosewood and walnut tripod, contains a webcam, the Photo-Automato-Graph machine contains an inkjet printer)
I shall be pre-printing the reverse side of the photo stationery with some blurb (including the two images above), but I could do with a little creative help.
I’m trying to create a fantastical and falsely technical description of the inner working principles of the machine; something along the lines of "Utilising the scientific principles of reciprocal motion, agitated reaction and the recently-discovered properties of…
"… the Phoito-Automato-Graph is able to unburden the photographer of the tiresome effort of photographic development… etc.
Any suggestions will be most warmly welcomed.