I won World War 2. (This won’t work if you are German).
I won the Viet Nam War (this won’t work if you are not VietNamese.)
I won the war in Korea/Iraq/Afganistan. (this won’t work)
When participating in the Shriner’s Circus I dived off the roof of a ten story building, into a cup of water. Not only did I hit the mark dead on center, but I didn’t spill a drop. In fact I went in so smooth that I didn’t leave a ripple. My partner an old clown tried to use a cup of Jello, but I don’t want to describe the results. Lets just say Jello giggles when you hit it and is rather bouncy. He was not a happy clown that day.