Finally, after three years, a thread where my immortal wisdom can be shared. My own original ‘You might be a redneck if:’ joke, enshrined in web history.
You might be a redneck if you know which brand of beer your dog prefers.
Thankyouverymuch, I’llbehereallweek…
Funny!
That reminds me of one Christmas where my boss brought his Chihuahua with him. My boss is a lightweight when it comes to drinking; half a glass and he’s passed out.
One of my sisters mixed him a Kahlua and cream and made it a little strong so that after a while, my boss is about dozing in his chair with the dog on his lap.
We didn’t notice the dog drinking out of his cup until it was about gone.
When my boss set him in the floor he started weaving everywhere and at one point, for no particular reason, he did some sort of little run on just his front legs.
Man! I wish I had that on tape! 
When your cat begins to slur it’s purrs, you know it’s time to cut 'em off.
Um…
May I politely interject here that alcoholic beverages are not good for dogs and cats?
I don’t mean to be a downer. Really. And this is a funny thread. But SOMEONE has to be the Voice of Reason…
harmless, do you give your cat milk to drink?
If so, does he throw you filthy looks now as if to say:
“Yo bitch, this ain’t the good stuff.”
Though it might be funny to see, I don’t think kittens are appearing in the next Bailey’s advert.
Na…I normally don’t give them milk as they tend to get the “Hershey Squeeze” from it.
Shouldn’t this be dogs, plural? No self-respecting redneck would be caught dead with only one dog!
NO, Hal!
Caution! Number of cats exceeds number of humans: DO NOT ATTEMPT!
I repeat!
Caution! Number of cats exceeds number of humans: DO NOT ATTEMPT!
With all due respect to CrazyCatLady, whom my friend Basandre tells me works at/is a vet, I’m not sure hydrogen peroxide (H 2O 2) is the best thing to be giving an animal to make them throw up.
I work in a molecular biology lab, and I know that H 2O 2 is a mutagen. Granted, the molecular biology grade H 2O 2 is A LOT stronger than the stuff you buy at the store (~60% compared to 3%), but I’m not sure pouring any mutagen into a kitty is a good idea.
I guess you just might want to check with your vet BEFORE you need to make your animal throw up.
Maggie the Wonderdog hates Budweiser(she prefers a gin and tonic) .
Ooo…good advice! I didn’t really think about the consequences.
It’d be no fun to be out numbered by four cats with a good boozitude kickin’ in when the well runs dry. :eek:
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MmmmmrrrrrrrrrrooooooOOOOoooowwwwwppp > :dubious: <
Oh, yeah.
Times four!
That’s not what that link says at all.
It basically says that alcohol has the same effects on pets as it does on people but that some pets are only 5-25 pounds so it doesn’t take much alcohol to do harm.
Here’s what I got out of that thread. . .
In other words, my dog can handle even MORE alcoohol than what I’ve been giving him.
I always drink my Bailey’s straight, with just a bit of ice, and am constantly fending off the two kitties. But I don’t share. They can lick the glass afterwards, but the Bailey’s is MINE! Of course, since they think anything I eat or drink is really theirs, and don’t hesitate to stick paws and noses into food items I’m still eating, snacktime is a true battle. They no longer have kitchen privileges, so they really miss the treats. But the Bailey’s is MINE.
My male cat steals my daughter’s pony-tail holders (the plain elastic bands) and puts them in the food and water bowls, and then also won’t eat or drink till we take them out. When we get up in the morning, there’s always at least one in each bowl. What odd behaviour.
He also likes any type of fruit juice, and loves cantelope.
My female cat loves iced tea, but it has to be sweet tea. If my husband is drinking tea, she’ll sneak up and just help herself.
She’s also a tuna-juice lover.
Neither of them (the cats) will drink liquor. They’re a couple of teetotalers. It’s the dog who likes beer. 
My dog adores beer. To the point where if I take her to parties, I have to really try to keep track of how much she’s been drinking. About two years ago I had a housewarming party, and later in the evening I sat down rather tipsy on the couch in my living room, and looked up into the kitchen to see my dog pounding a beer. There was a guy, crouched down, steadily pouring a bottle of beer into his cupped palm and as my dog steadily lapped it out of his hand, a small crowd of people were standing there, cheering her on. I watched in disbelief as she put away an entire bottle of beer. I felt rather like the disappointed mother of a wayward teenager. And a bit of a party “pooper” (HA!) when I had to cut her off from the booze. I figure it’s legal as long as she’s with her adult guardian, right?
You’re absolutely right. Good point. Once again, the value of the SDMB is proven. The joke is much better if the plural is moved from ‘prefers’ to both ‘brands’, and ‘dogs’. Because different dogs can have different taste, right?
You might be a redneck if you know which brands of beer your dogs prefer.
Thanks, Chronos.
My cats give me the ‘ooh, I want some’ sniff when I’m drinking, but as soon as they smell it, they give me the ‘that’s poison, you freak’ look and run away.
One of my cats is an iced tea freak. The other one will put his paw in any drink before drinking it. He also digs ice out of water glasses.
None of my cats drink alcohol, but one of them loves to play with wine corks.