Help Plan Lsura's Montreal Vacation

July 21st to the 27th, 2001. These should be memorable.

Preliminary Sugestions:
[list]
[li] Montreal Dopefest: Follow Details Here[/li]Comments: Rumour has it that eunoia may be making a brief appearance, but will claim he “has to return some videos” before the party inevitably adjourns to Club Stock in the Gay Village.

[li] July 25th 22h00 Montreal International Fireworks Competition (Australia)[/li]Comments: Don’t buy tickets for this, it’s free to all but tourist suckers who like breathing gunpowder smoke. I realize you’re on a budget, and the best way to see these at any price is to wear comfortable shoes, take a Metro to the base of the Jacques-Cartier Bridge, go to the bathroom (or in my case save an empty beer bottle (do not urinate in the St. Lawrence river please, we drink out of there)), and follow the crowd walking up the bridge (which is closed to traffic for these events from 20h30 to 23h00).
Two important points:

  1. Arrive early and walk through the crowd on the western pedestrian walkway, most people wuss out before they get over the water, and here is the best, uncrowded view. Did I mention FREE? The view of the city alone will be worth the hike.
  2. Take wind into consideration, once in a blue moon (3 times in over 100 shows) the wind blows flaming detritus towards the bridge rather than onto dignitaries and paying customers in the stands on the island below. You may have to move 50 yards at the last minute and lose a better spot.

[li] Anytime Day: Montreal Botanical Gardens[/li]Comments: This would at first glance seem to be a tacky, touristy thing to do. Not so. The mayor of Montreal is a flower fetishist and pumps tons of money into this showcase attraction. Translation: Value. Use the fact that you’re coming with your mom to rationalize going here if you have to. A good sunny-day-relaxing thing to do.

More to come as your likes/dislikes are established.

If you like churches, Montreal’s got you covered. We have:

  1. the Oratoire Saint-Joseph, the second-largest Catholic sanctuary in the world, built by a reputed miracle worker whose preserved heart is on exhibit (prompting the Bowser and Blue lyric “Like Frère André/My heart will stay/In Montreal”). (Metro Côte-des-Neiges)

  2. the Cathédrale Marie-Reine-du-Monde, a scale model of St Peter’s in Rome. (Metro Bonaventure)

  3. the Notre-Dame Basilica, a horribly historic and extremely beautiful church in Old Montreal. (Metro Place d’Armes)

  4. Notre-Dame-de-Bonsecours, built as a pilgrimage site for sailors saved from drowning. (Metro Champ-de-Mars)

I also have to suggest Mount Royal Park, with the cross and lookout, a lovely place to hike (I suggest going up the east face starting from the Georges-Étienne Cartier monument, on ave. du Parc; metro Place des Arts + bus #80, or metro Mont-Royal + bus #11 or 97); and Old Montreal, with its beautiful architecture & historic buildings, views of the St Lawrence, and the Old Port (metro Champ-de-Mars or Place d’Armes).

If you like museums, try the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts (metro Guy-Concordia); the Museum of Modern Art (metro Place-des-Arts); the Pointe-à-Callière history museum (metro Place d’Armes); and the McCord Museum of Canadian History (metro McGill).

For shopping, most of the malls are along Ste-Catherine street from metro Peel to metro Place-des-Arts. More boutique-type places can be found on rue Saint-Denis; start from metro Berri-UQAM and work your way north. Both streets are along metro lines so if you get tired or overloaded you can hop on a train and head back home.

For that matter, the metro itself is a sight to behold (shameless plug!) Try metro Angrignon, Monk, LaSalle, Lionel-Groulx, Place St-Henri, Acadie, Namur, Place-d’Armes, and Préfontaine for some particularly beautiful examples.

If you’re worn out from being sophisticated and want to do the tourist trap thing, try the Tour de Montreal, the Olympic Stadium’s colossally hideous inclined tower (the tallest in the world). You can ride to the top and look out over the whole city, as seen from Hochelaga-Maisonneuve. Metro Pie-IX. The nearby Biodome (metro Viau) is also a cool place to spend an afternoon, presenting faithful recreations of a variety of habitats.

One thing I could recommend is that if you are too bewildered to figure out an itinerary, just hop on a tour bus and let the nice tour people tell you what’s good. Then spend the rest of the week going back and visiting places you were interested in.

Or call me. I love showing people around the city. I really do.

BTW, I’ve just checked, and it seems your hotel is located at St-Denis and Ste-Catherine, by metro Berri-UQAM. That’s our central metro station so it’ll make any metro trips you’ll make much easier (you’ll almost never have to change lines).

Oh, here’s a link to the Montreal Dopefest thread: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=75808

Let’s not forget Île Ste-Hélène, the Old Fort, Île Notre-Dame, the (shudder) Casino, the tail-end of the Just for Laughs Festival…

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by eunoia *
walk through the crowd on the western pedestrian walkway

[QUOTE]

Obviously I meant the eastern pedestrian walkway. Unless you like looking like a clued-out tourist, heh heh.

This brings up a good point about Montreal: as you go east, the people get frencher (more mustaches, cigarette packs rolled up in sleeve) as you go west, more english (superior attitude, actually order tea at Starbucks).

I can second the suggestion of a visit to Notre-Dame Basilica which, whatever your religious views, proves that brainwashing can get people to build something really beautiful. Light a candle for a loser heathen.

There is also an urban beach on Ile Notre-Dame if it’s too damn hot to do anything and you’re regretting no going to the Caribbean. I rollerblade on the circuit Gilles Villeneuve (Montreal Grand Prix track which encircles the beach) all summer long. Wave to me.

Shopping: Buy a leather jacket. Montreal probably has the best price/style/quality ratio for these on planet earth.

Your hotel is in a chic bohemian area of downtown, more restaurants than you can shake a stick at. You’re pretty well on the east/west dividing line of the city. You’re going to have so much fun, I’m jealous.

I can’t believe I forgot to mention this : the Food !!! We take our food seriously up here. Whether you like (in no particular order) Italian, Chinese, Japanese, Afghan, Indian, Vietnamese, Thai, Greek, Tibetan, French, Vegetarian, or something else altogether, we have it. And this does not include the bakeries, pastry shops, cafés, brasseries, bars, clubs and assorted whatnots.

You forgot Lebanese food. Hmmm, Lebanese food.

<snif> There’s no good Lebanese food in Vancouver. <snif>

The Old Port is good for an afternoon stroll… just remember to bring something that smells nice if you hop on a caleche.

If you are mobile, I suggest Pointe-aux-Moulins or Morgan Arboretum, in the West Island.

July 21st 22h00 Montreal International Fireworks Competition (France)
Comments: same instructions as above, but it’s France! They’re good!

Expos Home Games:
July 26 19h05 vs. Atlanta (!)
July 27 19h05 vs Atlanta (!)
see the Olympic Stadium.
Comments: See Vladimir Guerrero and Jose Vidro, then buy them and have them play for an actual big league club. (See Larry Walker, Moises Alou)

Montreal Alouettes (CFL Football) Home Game:
July 26 19h30
Comments: Probably not high on your list but consider:
The Alouettes will win the Grey Cup this year. For sure.
This is one of the hottest tickets in Montreal (especially compared with the Expos)
Metro University, walk north up University Street (think it’s steep? try icy, at 7:30 A.M., bitchin’ cold winter’s day for parasitology class!) to McGill/Percival Molson Stadium. Follow crowd south after game to Crescent Street bars. This is the anglophone summer night out in the city.

Comedy Fest:
Seems there are a coupla galas during your stay:
Theatre St-Denis (walking distance)
July 21st 19h30 Eugene Levy hosts
July 22nd 19h30 Jeff Foxworthy hosts
Tickets: (514) 845-2322

Museums:
Montreal Museum of Fine Arts: yes
Montreal Museum of Contemporary Art: no
Comments: If you hate contemporary art, why go? If you like contemporary art, I’ve burnt better art than they have here.

Radio:
I listen to 99.5FM (classical) and 99.9FM (initially good, but increasingly commercial alternative, ironically broadcast from Burlington, Vermont!) There are not, nor have there ever been, any rock stations in Montreal.

What mother-daughter bonding trip is complete without an evening at Club 281, a ladies-only male strip club?
281 Ste-Catherine (walking distance)
A little pricey, but I have to make a living! Tips go in the g-string.

Food:
I’m trying to find the Montreal Mirror’s Best of Montreal Reader’s Poll 2001 online. Though my invitation-only raves got honourable mention, and my underground band Doctor Kissinger’s Homemade Chocolate Penises made the Most Outrageous Act category, the food information should be more reliable.
We have every kind of food here, among the classics are:
Fairmount Bagels: Bagels, you say? New Yorkers are envious. Pack a butter knife and spreadable cream cheese.
Schwartz’ smoked meat: I’m forever FedExing brisket around the globe to expatriate Montrealers. Some orders specify: Please include the harried, surly, post-menopausal waitresses!
Poutine: french fries, gravy, cheese curds, what’s not to love? The greasy-spoon variety is the most authentic form of this national dish. Yummmy.

I’m guessing that’s either Old Port or Old Fart. The Ol’ Fort melted with the Spring thaw.

**
July 26 19h05 vs. Atlanta (!)
July 27 19h05 vs Atlanta (!)**

I can go see the Braves anytime. And, since I’m neither a Braves nor an Expos fan… Now, if they were playing the Red Sox, I’d be all over it.
What mother-daughter bonding trip is complete without an evening at Club 281, a ladies-only male strip club?
281 Ste-Catherine (walking distance)
A little pricey, but I have to make a living! Tips go in the g-string.

Ya know, I wouldn’t have thought of something like this, but talking to my mother last night(and she’s getting more and more excited about this trip) she said she decided that we should have 2 hotel rooms because I(that’s me, Lsura) might get lucky. My mother said that too me. That’s when I know it’s been to long.

She’s already said we have to go to the fireworks Saturday night. She loves fireworks.

We’re trying to get my aunt and cousin to come up as well. My cousin Jenny would come in a minute, but she’s currently unemployed and penniless. If I were a nice cousin I’d buy her a ticket.

You’ll be too late for Rammstein on the 15th but
July 23rd Metropolis (walking distance)
Marilyn Manson! Bring mom!

No, no, the Old Fort on Ste-Hélène Island, you know, the MacDonald Museum, The Compagnie Franche de la Marine, the Fraser Highlanders, that Old Fort.

P.S. in case you didn’t know there are only three places in the Montreal area that makes smoked meat :
Schwarz, on St-Laurent,
Coorsh, in Mascouche, they’re the suppliers of most of the commercial smoked meat you find in town,
and Mtl Smoked Meat in Pointe-St-Charles.

As for joual you’re on, 'stie !

That’s McGill metro. And my summer night out usually involves some ben quétaine 80’s dance music and assorted gentlemen with names like Stefan and Rémi.

Oh. Verily, you learn something every day, crisse. From, **matt_mcl even:

[QUOTE]
That’s McGill metro. And my summer night out usually involves some ben quétaine 80’s dance music and assorted gentlemen with names like Stefan and Rémi.

[QUOTE]

Well, the first part anyways, heh heh.

Nobody mentionned the tam-tams ! In summer, at the Mount-Royal Park, there are gatherings of percussion artists that entertained people all day long, every one is invited and if you have a musical instrument bring it along and jam with everybody else. On another note, if you are interested in famous dead people, you might be interested in this one buried in Montreal.

And Barbarian, I didn’t forget Lebanese, I just figured I had to stop somewhere. But if you insist, we also have Cajun, Brazilian, Portuguese, Russian, Central European, Eastern European, Korean and Ethiopian restaurants.
[sub]By the way, how is Canada Day shaping up in La-La Land ? :D[/sub]

Also, many restaurants will allow you to bring your own wine.

An interesting one is Le Commensal (a vegetarian restaurant, several locations around Mtl), you pay your food by the gram, the more you eat, the more you pay.

Re: Tam-Tams

Good suggestion.
Every Sunday (weather permitting) afternoon. What better way to nurse a Sunday morning hangover than watch hundreds of people bang on stuff. Bring your own authentic Tutsi war drums, or a drumstick and a frisbee, or just a blanket and a joint. Absolutely free, but no longer considered underground/rebellious.

1.Transportation
Regarding transportation, if you intend to spend your visit in and in the immediate surroundings of Mtl, you won’t need to rent a car, however I strongly suggest that you buy a three day bus pass. If you plan to do a little bit of exploring of the province, depending on your plans, then a car might be needed.

Food, the sequel
Also, if your hotel room has kitchen facilities and you don’t want to eat only in restaurants, then the best places for groceries would probably be the municipal markets. Your best choices would be either the Atwater market or the Jean-Talon one.

Booze and whatnots
Closing time in bars is 3 AM. The legal drinking age is 18.

You can buy beer (domestic and imported) and cheap wine at convenience stores (called dépanneurs), but only until 11 PM, they are not allowed to sell alcoholic beverages between 11 PM and 8 AM.

For hard liquor, better wine, some imported beers, the SAQ are the government-owned stores that handle this.

I also know where I’m going if I have a terrible craving for a pecan mudslide.
Work’s been nutty, so I’ve not checked into these threads because then I’ll get distracted and think about vacation and not get any work done.
The week before my trip will be nutty too-I’m going to be in Tupelo, Mississippi for work. Yippee. I’ll drive home sometime Friday evening, probably get home around 9PM, have to do laundry and repack (by which time it will 1-2 AM, and I may just stay up. I’ve had enough close calls with planes and oversleeping this year. My last trip to Honduras became a very close dash to the airport on the day of leaving.)

Don’t count on getting any sleep when you’re here either!