Okay, I am at about my wits’ end. Fang (rapidly approaching two) started a new day care two weeks ago. We were very thankful to find a space for him, as space in this town is highly limited. The daycare seems nice, and has high quality activities for him, but they are very touchy-feely when it comes t discipline. To whit: his biting.
Fang has always been a biter. We tried redirection, and positive reinforcement. The only thing he has responded to is Time Out. At the suggestion of my sister (a kindergarten teacher) we have been putting him in two minute time out for biting. We give verbal reinforcement as to why he’s in time out, and when his Time Out is done, we reiterate why he was in Time Out, and make sure he understands that he is no longer in trouble. His biting at home has nearly stopped completely.
Daycare, on the other hand, is a completely different story. Like I said, they are a little touch-feely when it comes to discipline. Time Out is too strict , and is therefore out of the question. Fang is testing them to see who’s in charge. They are trying to get him to understand that biting hurts the other child. They also tell him to use his moth for kisses, not bites.
The boy is almost two. His brain is not wired to sympathize with others, yet. When you tell him that his biting hurts the other child, he won’t believe you, because it doesn’t hurt him. “Kisses not bites” is laughable, because then the only consequences for his actions are nice words and hugs. I don’t see that as being dissuasive.
I don’t know whether putting him in time out when he gets home would help, as several hours would pass between the incident and the consequences.
I don’t want my son to be labeled a trouble-maker. I also don’t want him to be kicked out of daycare (my current fear).
Does any one have any suggestions?
 Boggle I remember when Time Out was too lax, and the only kids who got Time Out were raised by touchy-feely Dr. Spock wanna-bes who wanted to be their child’s best friend, not the parent.