My SO gets a little, how shall we say, sentimental about things. For example, we each bought each other a single red rose for Valentine’s day last year. He kept those roses in his apartment until they literally fell apart. It wasn’t until the dead black petals fell from the dry stems that he actually could bring himself to throw them away, and even then he didn’t put them in the garbage. He took them to the creek by his house and left them in a patch of wildflowers.
Now comes the bad part. Last Easter, I dyed eggs. On one of them, I wrote his name in a heart with a wax crayon, so when I dipped it in the dye the writing & heart showed up as white writing on a blue egg. I gave it to him in his Easter basket. He could never bring himself to eat it, so it sat in his fridge. For months. And months. And months.
Fast forward to the present. He’s moving in with me. The egg is still in his fridge. I told him under no circumstances would that egg be allowed in MY fridge. He dodged the question. I helped him move this weekend, but we didn’t touch the fridge.
He just called me ten minutes ago to tell me he was completely done moving, and was walking out of his apartment for the last time. After the congratulations and all that, I hesitantly asked… “What did you do with the egg?” “I’m bringin’ it over!” was his reply.
What do I DO with this thing?!? He told me it felt “kinda light.” I’m deathly afraid that it’ll break and stink to high heaven. It will be thrown out, of that I’m certain. But just how is the question. I’m sure if it gets put in my garbage something will crush it. And what’s this with it being “kinda light”? Could it have rotted away completely? Help!
Anyway… Do you have a garbage disposal in your kitchen sink? If so, feed it through that, and follow it up with some white vinegar if it stinks. If not, either take it to a dumpster, so the smell won’t bother you, or put it in a cheap plastic container (GladWare or somesuch) and throw it in your trash–the plastic being there to keep it from being crushed.
As for it rotting away completely, where could it have gone? Whatever it became when it rotted would have to still be inside the shell, no? Maybe some gasses could escape through the shell (depending upon what kind of dye you used), but that’s it.
Stop by a craft store on your way home. Buy a wooden egg and some blue and white paint.
When you get home paint the egg blue and write his name in a heart like you did the real egg.
Get him to trade the real egg for the wooden one.
Then tell him you understand that your gifts mean a lot to him and you understand his desire to keep them. Tell him you are flattered by this. But that a year old egg isn’t a healthy thing to keep around.
If you get your hands on the egg, bury it deep !
" The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference."
Elie Wiesel
Winner SDMB Biggest Flirt (Female) and Least Shy (No Mom, I have no idea why they think that)
This is a hard-boiled egg? It might be rotten but it won’t be as bad as a raw egg.
I wouldn’t put it in my disposal at any rate. If you don’t have access to a dumpster keep it in the fridge till garbage day and put it right on top, last thing.
When I was a wee lad I was visiting my cousins out on the farm. We were playing out in the brush somewhere when one of my cousins found a chicken egg hidden in the brush. We took it into the house, hoping for praise from my aunt for collecting a useful farm commodity. She started hollering at us to get that thing out of the house, which scared my cousin so bad that he, you guessed it, dropped the egg. It was awful. We couldn’t go back in the house. I don’t know what my aunt and uncle did to clean it up. If it was me I would have burned the house down and started over.
“Cheddar?”
“We don’t get much call for that around here, Sir.”
Next time, carefully poke holes in both ends of the egg, a little bit bigger on the bottom, with a pin. Now, blow the contents into a bowl and save for omelettes. Proceed with decorating. The egg will last forever!
It’s not how you pick your nose, it’s where you put the boogers
Offer to help him bring the stuff in and somewhere in the process (preferable in the parking lot or drive way) drop the egg and then begin to cry to show him you realize how much this egg means to him.
Thanks for the best laugh I’ve had today. You’re caught in the trap of your own romantic gift! Ayesha had the greatest idea (Ayesha, do you have a lot of experience with this kind of problem?)
But don’t just throw the old egg away. In the interest of science, put it in a metal bowl, and throw it in the microwave on HIGH. Then report the results back to the SDMB.
Find someone you don’t like and give it to their kids next Easter.
Go to the church on next Easter eve and hide it in an obvious place. Go back the next day just in time for the Easter egg hunt. Take a camera.
Throw it at something.
Alternatively, you could bury it for another hundred years and then eat it. That’s what the Chinese do. They also eat placenta though so I’d be careful.
Although I do like the “find someone you don’t like and give it to their kids next Easter” suggestion (my boss comes to mind…), I think I’m going to go with Ayesha’s suggestion and get a fake egg to replace it with. My mother told him to take a picture and throw the egg away, and he said that might be a good compromise, so I’m thinking the wooden egg will be an even better compromise. I still don’t know what to do with the real egg, though. I’m thinking I might go throw it in the farm fields behind my house…
I’m wish Ayesha (a stroke of genius, there, girl) AND Arnold. Advance our intellectual curiosity here, please. Hold your breath and crack the sucker. Then post the results.
Jess
Remember the Straight Dope credo: It’s all about wiping out ignorance, not coddling the ignorant.
No bloody way am I gonna crack that sucker. I won’t even touch it. SO brought it in last night, and was trying to get me to hold it to see how light it was. I will have nothing to do with that shell of potential pestualance and mayhem.
Athena, don’t worry about the egg. i grew up in Saskatchewan, in the middle of a predominantly Ukrainian-Canadian community. Every year at easter they produce magnificent coloured eggs (I did some–rather poor–myself in elementary school), with dyes, wax, and a stylus.
We kept about 18 as decorations when we left in 1972, and they were on display as recently as 1988 in my Mum’s house. They were hard-boiled at the time of colouring, and I recall that within a year or so, the white and yolk had dried up and solidified, so that you could hear it rolling around.
There was never any smell (mind you, we didn’t crack one open), and they were just fine for years, until a few got crushed in transit.
If you’re that worried, put the ovum in a stout cardboard box, and bury it deep in your freezer. Over time, it will dessicate completely inside, and if there is a “core breach” in the meantime, at least any remaining gunk will be frozen, and easily disposed of.
Though y’all would like to know that I took up Ayesha’s idea and made painted a wooden egg to look just like the real one. I think it worked - he was touched that I did it, and agreed to get rid of the real one.
And thanks, Rodd Hill, for giving me hope that this thing won’t explode and stink my house up for decades. I’m still not brave enough to crack it (or even touch it, truth be told) but this makes me feel a little better.
Good luck, Athena: just think what a neat piece of family history your great-great-grandchildren will have! Maybe they’ll appear on “The Antiques Spaceport” in 2199…
Thinking of the Ukrainian Easter eggs of my youth, I waxed nostalgic, and found a web link. If you’ve never seen these type of eggs, take a look, they’re really art, more than craft:
