So we were discussing plans for Halloween costumes tonight, and it was decided that I should bedeck myself in leather, as in leather daddy, but I don’t feel comfortable using that term since I’m 18.
I’ve got some questions:
What do I need? I’m thinking something simple and affordable, like:
Harness
Vest, maybe
A leather armband or 2
Boots
Beard (Oh, wait. I can’t grow a beard.)
My next question:
Harnesses… do I need to go to a store that sells them in order to ensure that it fits well? Can I measure myself and buy it online to save a few bucks? Will it fit OK?
Vests… is it overkill with the harness?
Pants… what do I wear pants-wise? I’m going to be going to class in this, so assless pants are out of the question (I know, everyone sigh).
I’m no expert, but you might want to get one of those leather cop-looking hats and something dangling from your studded belt to spank somebody with - a paddle or something.
You can wear the chaps with jeans underneath. Some motorcycle boots, maybe. Have fun, Big Boy .
Try a stitchery store. You can get leather look-alike fabric there for reasonably cheap, or some outlets will sell leather remnants by the pound which is also cheap (although you may have trouble finding large pieces).
Failing those, you can sometimes hit the jackpot at thrift stores.
The adult toy store that I frequent has a whole section devoted to leather gear. It also has a sign posted that says, “Please don’t test drive the whips in the store.”
Being young and clean-shaven (or is that no need to shave yet?) you’re probably going to wind up looking like a leather boy, rather than a daddy, regardless of what you’re wearing.
Not that that’s a bad thing, but just the way it is.
You can fake a “beard” by rubbing charcoal into your skin or, if you’re adventurous enough, find a costume shop and buy some fake hair and spirit gum and glue one onto your face.
Ok fine, but what’s yer costume gonna be? Oh like you didn’t think I’d come in here without a smartass comment!
I do have one constructive comment. I know, big surprise. Since we’re talking Halloween and it’s likely to be a mite chilly, you might want to think jacket instead of vest or harness, especially since you’re wearing it all day. A leather jacket and a tight white tshirt can be quite the leather look. Chaps over jeans or just tight worn 501 Levi’s, a hat and motorcycle boots would complete the picture quite nicely.
Speaking of pics, we’ll be needin’ some of you in your trick or treat clothes.
I can’t grow a useful beard. I can grow all the facial hair I’d ever want on my neck, and I can connect it to my sideburns. Maybe by Halloween, I’ll be able to grow a real beard.
How… hurty would the spirit gum be? Toxicity? I don’t really know anything about it.
Well, the average temperature in October in Little Rock is in the 60’s, and Arkadelphia is south of there… I might be ok. I just don’t think that anyone would get my costume without the harness. And I want an excuse to buy one. And what will the dominatrix in the group say if I just have a leather jacket on? (On a side note, an outsider looking into this would think that it’s kind of funny that fairly inexperienced late teenagers dressing up like this.)
I’ll have to price the leather jackets, because I don’t have any. I also don’t have any tight jeans, but I could get those at WM for 15 bucks, so I’m not too worried about that.
About the pictures, of course there’ll be pictures. There are always pictures around holidays. (maybe even some without the jeans. But not available here.)
If you’re going to buy a harness, go get fitted for it. They are adjustable but you’ll be better off getting fitted for it. Plus there are certain err…umm… accessories you may or may not want that you can check out for now or later. If this is a group thing and you’re going for that dom/sub thing, you might want to think about a collar and leash, just as an added fun thing. The dom leading the subs by leash and all that. What do you me how would I know?
Well, I found this site that walks me through measuring myself, which I hope will be good enough, because the nearest leather shop that I know of is 3.5 hours away.
Side note, chaps are hella expensive, but I managed to find some cheap ones through a company in Branson for 50 bucks.
It depends on what you do with it. If you’re gluing on a moustache, be really careful that you don’t get any near or in your nostrils. Nose hair and spirit gum do not mix. (I know whereof I speak. I was a sailor in my high school’s production of South Pacific and had to wear a moustache. The least convincing sailor ever, since I’m a soprano and have a serious hourglass figure, but a sailor all the same.) As a general rule, the less area you cover with spirit gum the more comfortable it is and the more the skin moves the less comfortable it will be. So, a moustache is more comfortable than a beard, since it covers less area that moves a lot, but chest hair isn’t that big of a problem, since your chest skin doesn’t move as much as your face does.
Some people are allergic to either spirit gum or the remover, so you should do a test patch on the inside of your arm before putting it on your face. I’ve never met anyone who actually was, but better safe than sorry. You’ll also want to shave that morning, but wait a couple hours before putting it on, since shaving irritates the skin. Speaking of remover, you’ll definitely want to buy some. As you go through the day, your false hair will work its way loose, but you’ll still have sticky crap that you’ll either have to rub off (ouch!) or take off with the remover. Resist the urge to pull the moustache off by itself. Go slowly and with remover.
To apply a moustache, spread spirit gum thinly on the net side. Put another coat on your face. Wait for it to get tacky, then position the moustache. Tip your head back and put pressure on the moustache for about thirty seconds. You might need to apply a little more spirit gum where the edges are loose. It should last for a day or two to three hours onstage.
We always used Graftobian for high school drama. My suggestion? Make friends in the drama department and borrow theirs, since it doesn’t take much.
Yeah, but it is an investment that can have BIG payoffs many times over.
Besides, you’re in Arkansas, right? Head on over to Bentonville and see if they don’t sell them at WalMart HQ. I hear they’ve got every conceivable piece of leather gear there (Sam liked to drink from a dog bowl and get his nose swatted with a rolled up newspaper when he piddled on the floor).
plnnr you bad, bad, evil (but day-ummmn funny) man! Don’t do that to our cubby friend. Seriously, though, donkey the site for the measurements might work provided you know somebody who can measure you right. You will need help with that. You can get away with the tight 501’s (bottom button or two unbuttoned). If you can’t afford a good quality pair of chaps right now, it’s worth it to wait until you can. After all, you will get use of them beyond Halloween and a good pair can last for several years. Just some sage words of advice from somebody who has err…umm… been around a while.
This post was supposed to be at the beginning of that other post, but I forgot it when I opened a new window.
Well, swampy, I’ll defer to your superior knowledge here and take your word for it, due to the fact that I’m not a dirty old man. I still think that I’ll go for the 50 dollar chaps, though, because the outfit wouldn’t be complete without them.
Howeeeever, I forgot that my hometown is home to a huuuuge bike fest (see?) later this month. I don’t know if they’ll be selling chaps there, but I’d bet that it’s yes. (It’s torture walking around there admiring the men and realizing that an overwhelming percentage of them are straight.)
And plnnr, my reaction to your post went like this.
.
Oh like you didn’t think I’d come in here without a smartass comment!