I’ve been out of the official workforce for for a while, the hours i can work are limited, but i found a job for 8 hrs a week which will suit me just fine…i haven’t applied for a job in a long time, so i’d like some help with my application letter!
The job ad is brief and just says
“Office Work, various duties, 8 hours per week, computer skills required”
here’s my first draft - don’t be too nasty!
**To Whom It May Concern:
I was not actively looking for work until seeing the position you had advertised in the “newspaper name” on Friday 5th September.
Currently I am freelancing as a web designer and work flexible hours from home. I would like to continue my web design work therefore I find the eight hours a week of office work very attractive.
With previous experience as an administrative assistant and excellent computer skills, I have no doubt I will be an asset to your business.
In addition to web design work, I have worked in the offices of:
Business Name 1
Business 2
Business 3
Business 4
Business 5
I know you will want to know more about my experience and skills so have provided my resume on the enclosed CD. Please feel free to contact the referees listed there during business hours.
I look forward to discussing this position with you further. Please contact me on “my phone number”
**
I am writing with regard to the position you advertised in the “newspaper name” on Friday 5th September. I am well qualified for the position and it is ideal for my current objectives.
Don’t list your employers in a cover letter, let the resume do that. But summarize any essential experience that you had at those employers.
Also, don’t send a CD, unless it also has samples of your work (and they asked for them). If all that’s on it is a resume then just attach a paper resume, since you’re sending a paper letter. You don’t want them to work any harder than necessary to see your resume. Keep it as simple as possible.
thanks for your feedback…i’ll explain why i did the things you pointed out the way i did, further feedback would be appreciated.
First sentance i’m not totally comfortable with because it’s hard to know how the person on the other end will “read” it - especially when you have no idea who the reader is, but I did it that way in the hopes of pointing out that i don’t just want “a” job, i want THIS job - any suggestions as to how to better point out that fact? It’s totally true, i hadn’t even considered getting a “job” until i saw this ad, it’s not very often (at least around here) that you see a job that is ONLY 8 hours a week, and most people wouldn’t WANT a job that’s only 8 hours per week.
I listed the employers in the cover letter simply because I wasn’t going to provide a paper resume. I figured that would keep it brief - a couple of those places are very high profile in the community and i guess it almost speaks for itself that i must be ok if i worked for them.
I haven’t just got a word document on the cd, it’s basically a webpage setup, and shows off my skills in that area, as well as a few others, it’s also very easy to navigate and the “reader” can quickly find whatever info they want to see…i also figured it’s different to what everyone else does…it’s VERY hard to get a job in australia and there are likely to be a lot of applications for this job, despite the fact that few people would want to work only 8 hours a week - i need my application to stand out, so i thoguht a business card cd (as in those cds that are the size of a business card) resume might get me noticed.
This may sound nitpicking, but you’re applying for an office position where you may be required to proofread or actually draft correspondence. Therefore, your cover letter should be a good example of your writing skills.
Second paragraph: put a semicolon after “…design work”, or start a new sentence.
Second to last paragraph: structure of the last sentence is poor, i.e. it implies that the references are only listed during business hours. BTW, I’ve not seen them called “referees” before. Not that it’s incorrect, but you don’t want to throw in a word that may cause the reader to stumble.
Last sentence: Please contact me at phone number. Also, list times you are generally available at that number.
Ok, I guy your rationale for the CD, although as far as the first sentence–remember–this letter is not to get you the job, it’s to get you in the door. Stay simple and punchy, get their attention, find a way to stand out. But don’t sound desperate.
If you want to make your point in the first sentence, don’t start out “I was not actively looking for work” but rather emphasize how ideal this is–once you have their attention. Make that the second sentence if you’d like. Make sure you emphasize how much they should want you rather than vice versa.
Yes, but if the person who’s looking at those resumes is a technophobe, then you’re in trouble.
My thinking is that you should send a paper resume, but definitely bring the business card CD along on the interview and also offer to show the interviewer how to use it if the opportunity presents itself.
Also, I agree with CookingWithGas–your original first sentence sounds a bit wishy-washy, as if you’re not sure you’re in the job market or not. Since you’re competing against people who would take any job at all please please please, that’s not such a good impression. CookingWithGas’s replacement sentence is stronger. If you want, you could punch it up more: “I was excited to read about your office work opportunity advertised in the [newspaper] on Friday 5th September” or something like that. Also you’ve got your second sentence there to let them know why you find the eight-hour-a-week schedule attractive (and I actually think that that fact should make you stand out in a tight job market…they know you’re not going to quit the moment you can find a job with more hours available.)
Also, if you can possibly find out who your letter should actually be directed to (so that is says “Dear Mr. Smith” rather than “To whom it may concern”), that will really make your letter stand out from all those people who weren’t willing to do the research. Of course, if it’s one of those ads where the company name isn’t listed or something like that, then “To whom it may concern” might be the best you can do.
referee/s is a term commonly used in Australia. If you have a letter from someone saying how great you are, it’s a reference, but the person who wrote the letter or is prepared to talk to a potential employer about you is a referee
the “contact me on” vs “contact me at” is an interesting one…I would always put “on” when talking about a phone - the same way i would say “i’m on the phone” if i was telling someone i was speaking to someone on the phone. If i was referring to a mailing address or email, i’d say at. I just did a quick websearch on “please contact me on 02” (02 being a state phone code) limiting results to australia and came up with pages and pages of results, changing it to at there were a total three! interesting!
I didn’t list available times for contact because i didn’t want to limit the times i’m available because of the fact that the job ad gives no idea what hours would be worked. I don’t want to seem unavailable.
**To Whom It May Concern:
The position you had advertised in the “newspaper name” on Friday 5th September caught my attention.
Currently I am freelancing as a web designer and work flexible hours from home. I would like to continue my web design work and find the eight hours a week of office work you are advertising very attractive.
With previous experience as an administrative assistant and excellent computer skills, I have no doubt I will be an asset to your business.
I have worked in the offices of:
Business Name 1
Business 2
Business 3
Business 4
Business 5
I know you will want to know more about my experience and skills so have provided my resume on the enclosed CD. Please feel free to contact my referees during business hours.
I look forward to discussing this position with you further. Please contact me any time on “my phone number”.**
i hate it when someone else responds while i’m tying a response LOL
even if they’re a technophobe…they’re asking for someone with computer skills, i’m proving i have them - if they run a business that uses computers, chances are they’re going to know how to put a cd in the drive (it will auto run).
My aim is to GET an interview - once i have that i’ll impress the socks off them…but to get that i need to stand out from the huge pile of papers they’ll have on their desk.
Unfortunately there’s absolutely no way i can find out any more about who i’m applying to, i haven’t a clue even what type of business it is -which makes it hard.
Your new version is much better. If you insist on sending a CD, you should enclose a text copy of your resume, and, if possible, a sample of your work on the CD. If I were looking at your letter, I wouldn’t want to have to print your resume myself. Also, it is possible that some people would be nervous about sticking a random CD in their drive, considering various virus scares.
Did you do anything that would stand out at any of the jobs you mention? If so, add it to the cover letter, to increase the chance they’ll read further.
The cd isn’t just a word document, it’s website style - so you can’t just print it out - there’s no real reason you would have to print it out, the cd could be filed with the letter and easily referred to at a later date should that ever be necessary.
Nope, I didn’t really do anything that stood out… what minor things i did that stand out are all pointed out in my resume
And if you really want to GET the interview, I’d highly recommend not dismissing the good advice you’re getting here and send a paper resume, not a cd. At least send a paper resume with the cd. Do NOT make their job harder by forcing them to insert software, run it and navigate it. As a former recruiter, I can tell you exactly which file your cover letter and cd would go in – the round one under my desk. Sorry.
I’ll never understand why people ask for advice and then when they get it and it differs from their own ideas, dismiss it with a bunch of excuses and explanations as to why their way is better. Why ask for advice at all, then?
One bad habit I had when working in HR was to place any mailed resumes or applications that arrived in any non-standard format (i.e. anything other than a cover letter and resume in a regular sized envelope) in some “IN” box behind me since these would not fit neatly into the stack of other resumes/applications I would have to review. In more than one occasion, I would end up forgeting all about these non-standard submissions (the “URGENT IN” box was the top of my desk ).
As others have suggested, I would also recommend the more standard format cover letter with resume attached (paper copies, of course), but also include the CD as a backup (personally, I would be interested in what was in the CD, but I can see how others just wouldn’t have the time, interest or desire to bother with it).
(And the computer illiterate are more numerous than we might think. I worked for a hi-tech motion control equip. manuf. under the Director of HR. As a joke, I replaced her computer’s wallpaper with a picture of her smiling self. 3 months later it was still on there. She admitted having no clue how to change it and simply hid it behind the several dozen icons and shortcuts she had cluttering her desktop. She also had no idea how to use Word to print address labels!)
Rats…i posted a reply but the system hung and it got lost.
This is not only unfair but inaccurate. People suggested numerous things in response to my original post and I made numerous changes based on those comments!
I am still undecided as to what to do about the CD. You can’t expect someone to ask for opinions and then immediately accept and implement every single one of them without discussing the pros and cons first!
I’ll never understand why some people are so rude and quick to attack someone while ignoring the whole picture
Rats…i posted a reply but the system hung and it got lost.
This is not only unfair but inaccurate. People suggested numerous things in response to my original post and I made numerous changes based on those comments!
I am still undecided as to what to do about the CD. You can’t expect someone to ask for opinions and then immediately accept and implement every single one of them without discussing the pros and cons first!
I’ll never understand why some people are so rude and quick to attack someone while ignoring the whole picture
Ok - I’ve thought further about this and decided I will include a shorter version of my resume on paper, and point the reader to more detailed info on the cd.
NOW…all you people who said ditch the cd idea…how do i make a paper resume stand out from the rest? Ideas? THis has to be posted in the morning - that’s about 8 hours from the time of posting
).