I needed to contact the mail-order prescription service today regarding a screwup in a prescription. Won’t name names, but they shall now be known in the Zappa household as Shitco.
I called the phone number. And got a lovely soothing fembot mechanovoice telling me to describe the problem. “Tell me your problem. It could be anything like ‘refill request’ or ‘contact doctor’ or” blah blah blah “or even something else”.
Now, it’s been my experience that most systems like this have a “Sorry, I didn’t understand you, I’ll switch you to a live person” option. Or at least a “If at any time you need to speak to a live representative press Pound-Zero-four-Star-Pound-Pound-Three-Star while facing Sheboygan Wisconsin”. Still sucks, but at least you have the illusory hope of finding real help.
But no. THIS system is so smart and helpful that it doesn’t NEED archaic TwenCen shit like that.
So I’m treated to at least three repetitions of the fembot’s spiel. Hitting random keypad numbers the whole while, saying “Prescription Error” and “Need to speak to a representative” and very, very seriously considering screaming profanities at the phone because hell, it couldn’t do any less good that playing this moronic mindgame they were forcing me into. Fortunately there is no livestock at my office because I was beginning to debate the best methods of sacrificing a small animal in hopes of appeasing the Gods of Voice Recognition. Had I been at home when this occurred, we’d be shy a guinea pig or three now.
End result: the system eventually figured out that they couldn’t simply annoy me into going away, and let me speak to a live human. Ahhhh… the rewards of perseverance. And this way I don’t have to worry about my next prescription for asthma medication actually containing Viagra or itching powder instead like I would have if I’d gone the “CONNECT ME TO A HUMAN, YOU FUCKING ROBOBITCH” route.
And the end result? The doctor screwed up and ordered the wrong medication strength - which has already shipped. I’m out 30 bucks for a prescription my kid cannot use, and will have to shell out another more-than-30 for the prescription he really needs. And I want to strangle a robot.
I hate, hate, hate these systems. Don’t the geniuses who came up with this realize that people often have to call during their own work, and it’s not exactly discreet to have to CLEARLYENUNCIATE your personal business to a robot in an effort to make your business understood. Even though it often comes down to merely saying something like BILLING! followed by YES! it’s still intrusive, and it advertises that you’re conducting your own personal business, which is so much easier when you can silently push buttons.
Even the YES! bugs me. I feel funny saying it–most people I talk to use it only in writing; otherwise they say some variant or substitute like “yeah”, or “OK” or “uh-huh”, and so on.
Big mistake. Many people do this, often inadvertedly, because they think it helps the system. They talk to it the same way many people talk to foreigners or the hard-of-hearing. In fact this is a very significant source of errors for voice recognition. Yes, many of those system are crap, but if you want to get good results, speak as naturally as possible.
I always just start right in with, “I need to speak to a customer service representative.” I think the phrase “customer service” is a trigger because that one has never failed to pop me right over to a live human. Well, after waiting on interminable hold while “calls are answered in the order received,” of course.
Yeah, those things are utter crap. I was stuck on one with the cable company, but it did at least tell you how to get out of it. The keywords were supposed to be “I have a problem”, but the damn virtual woman would actually argue with you about it, as in, “I have a problem”…“O.K., but let me just ask you…” "I HAVE A PROBLEM’…“All right, did you…?” “I HAVE A PROBLEM”… I must have said it at least 10 times before the blasted thing would release me to a live person. And this was AFTER already playing its stupid game and answering its questions for 5 minutes and realizing there was no way on earth it was going to help me. These systems are like a bad dream. You used to be able to press “0” and get out of them, but they got tricky with that, too. Now they sometimes punish you for pressing “0” by bumping you back to the main hell-menu or even putting you in some sort of pergatory where you don’t get any menu items at all. Sometimes I think Corporate America just sits around all day dreaming up ways to annoy us. I honestly believe some companies could not be more annoying if they were trying.
I hate voice recognition systems. They’re even more annoying then getting redirected to call centres in India. I refuse to talk to them other then to request a live person. Of course this usually means I have to spend at least five minutes screaming the same thing over and over and by the time I get a live person I end up lecturing them on their poor customer service.
The bank where I work as a call center CSR is “updating” its automated system within the next few months. We’re switching from a hybrid Voice Response/Touch-Tone system to one that’s 100%-Voice-Unless-You-Specifically-Opt-Out. We are doing this despite evidence – collected by us, in reference to this specific issue – that 90% of customers who use the current system do so via touchtone.
Why are we doing this?
“Because it’s better.”
…
…
…indeed.
We need a “You know, I just give right the fuck up” smiley.
I don’t enunciate clearly on these systems for this reason, but it irks the heck out of me when I have to talk to the computer to get it to do anything, especially when I have to call from my cubicle at work. At least they could let me choose between talking out loud or punching buttons.
In some places, it makes sense. Kentucky has a 511 traffic system that anyone can use to check traffic and road constructions conditions anywhere in Kentucky. Given that most users will presumably be driving at the time, it’s a lot safer to let them talk to the phone than have to fumble with buttons on a cell pone. It’s also usually the case that there aren’t very many people inside the car to overhear you saying “I-65” for no apparent reason.
However, when I’m at work in my cubicle, and the insurance system asks me to say outloud my account number and birthdate, I prefer to have the choice to enter the numbers on the phone keypad.
Actually, they sit around all day thinking of ways to replace us.
There’s a lady I work w/ who has to call one particular place a few times a month, and for some reason the VR system there doesn’t recognize the timber of her high, soft voice until after about 5 tries of the same phrase. Of course by the time she gets through, we’re all laughing at her and mimicking her over the cubefarm walls.
Yeah, I meant to say it seems that they sit around all day dreaming up ways to annoy us. That’s not really their goal, but they nevertheless achieve that effect perfectly.
This is a large part of my new job. I’ve actually had pretty good luck with the ones I’m forced to deal with. I’ve also determined that pressing 0 or the pound sign repeatedly will reliably transfer you to the queue to speak to a live human.
-Lil
You know what I hate about these things? Half the time, they make me sit through useless information. This is especially annoying with credit cards, since I already know my balance and other information from looking online. I don’t need to hear a 30 second spiel about using the website every time I call about a problem with the website that I need a live person for!
One credit card company, unbeknownst to me until I had a problem, didn’t even have an 800 #. You had to pay long distance to sit through this nonsense, and when you would finally get through to the “transfer me to a human being” option, it would hang up on you or ring forever 90% of the time due to bad routing. I finally gave up and e-mailed, and of course received a completely nonsensical and irrelevant reply.
Despite really liking the card otherwise, and usually loving their online system, I’m now planning to dump it once I get something better.
I work in a call center. The only reason to have all of these endless questions is to frustrate the customer into not calling a live rep. Ultimately there is a cost savings to that in the short term. It is also retarded because it just enrages customers and calls are much longer because of taking all of these complaints! We have a pretty simple setup: Press 1 to order, all other inquiries press 2. No punching in your account number only to be asked for it by the live rep, no forcing you to listen to information that’s irrelevant. It’s very simple to set this up and the only reason to do otherwise is to sacrifice the customer service experience to save money.
I’m really shocked that someone thought voice response would be good for a PRESCRIPTION service. My god - I’m sure it’s really handy for their customers with throat cancer or who recently had a stroke, or have poor hearing, or uhm…swollen tongue disease. I was going to list “really nasty cold” or “laryngitis” but I figure those aren’t the types of things you call for 30-day refills for.
This is why I refuse to do the mail prescription thing. I know it saves money, but one screw-up in your prescription, whether it’s your fault, the doctor’s or the pharmacy’s, and you get to spend hours on the phone trying to straighten it out. And yes, usually this phone work must be done during the day while you’re at work. Who can take all that time while at their desk to struggle with a screwy phone system or some out-of-state mouthbreathers? Not me. And while you straighten it out, it’s probable you’ll go without your medication for a week or two, something I can’t do.
The hell with it. I’m sticking with the local pharmacy.
