Helping a poor widow

[picunurse]

I just received (in my spam file) this missive from a poor widow of a passenger from flight 447 Air France crash. Psssssh!
Wanna play?
Go fer it!:D:D:D:D:D

My Dearest One,

Greetings and peace be upon you as you read this message,i know this
letter will come to you as a huge surprise,but I implore you to take the
time to go through it carefully as the
decision you make will go a long way to facilitate my peaceful repose and
the manifestation of my last wish.I am MRS.EVELYN JONES an ageing widow of
77 years old suffering from long time chronic organ failure resulting from
terminal cancer which has left me paralyzed and bedridden for the past
four {4} years.

I was recently notified of my late husband KENNETH JONES who died in the
Air France Flight 447 crash.He had an outstanding and unclaimed cash
deposit account worth the sum of US$24,800,000.00 whose deposit
documents bears my name as the next of kin and is presently facing
danger of being declared a dormant account and returned to the
government treasury.

My present state of health does not permit me to take any direct action
here and i do not wish to have the sweat of my late husband end up in the
hands of undeserving government officials.I need a very honest and GOD
fearing Christian who i can make the executor of my WILL and have this
unclaimed funds released to,so it could be used for charity works.My
greatest wish is to keep this FUNDS secured and be used for charity
works.I choose you from the several email contacts presented to me by the
nursing staffs and after honest PRAYERS to the LORD to bring me a helper
and i decided to contact you if you may be willing and interested to
handle these trust FUNDS in good faith before anything happens to me.

I am in urgent need of your cooperation and I believe a divine force is
driving me to contact you for this noble task,you must not fail me and
the millions of the poor people in
our today’s WORLD.This is my legitimate inheritance and NOT stolen money
and there are no dangers involved as all is 100% RISK FREE with concrete
legal proof.

Please if you would be able to cooperate with me as my legally appointed
executor of my last WILL and TESTAMENT and ensure my inheritance is put
to good use benefiting the less
privileged and victims of natural disasters around the globe.
Yours Sincerely,

MRS.EVELYN JONES.
E-mail:{ evelynjones@superposta.com }

[Lynn_Bodoni]

A couple of times (before I realized that doing this just confirmed that the email address was live and monitored by a real person) I wrote back and said that I’d be more than happy to take the money, as I’ve always wanted to set up an abortion clinic in (either her city, or a random third world city) where underprivileged women could get safe, free abortions.

Oddly enough, I never got replies from those particular spammers, I just got more spam (because of the active email account thing). Do you think I was too obvious?

[ioioio]

Damn. I really want to help this poor woman, but unfortunately, I am not a God-fearing Christian.

[Cicero]

@Lynn_Bodoni

A couple of times (before I realized that doing this just confirmed that the email address was live and monitored by a real person) I wrote back and said that I’d be more than happy to take the money, as I’ve always wanted to set up an abortion clinic in (either her city, or a random third world city) where underprivileged women could get safe, free abortions.

Oddly enough, I never got replies from those particular spammers, I just got more spam (because of the active email account thing). Do you think I was too obvious?

As long as you could make abortions for the spammer retrospective.

[Taomist]

@laina_f

Damn. I really want to help this poor woman, but unfortunately, I am not a God-fearing Christian.

I would have responded with “I’d love to help you, but I am an atheist. I believe the Westboro Baptist Church would be able to help you; here is their info!”

[Senegoid]

Amazingly well-written and good grammatical English (relatively speaking) for these sort of things. :dubious:

[ThelmaLou]

So that means y’all aren’t going to be sending me the money? Dang. I gotta make some phone calls and cancel some shit.