Helping someone out at Christmas

In My Humble Opinion
1

A group of us want to help someone out and their family this Christmas. Making up a basket with gift cards, and maybe a few will buy small presents. The father (in his 60’s) lost his job of MANY years. He own’s a house, but sounds like he doesn’t have much.

The son gives much of his paycheck to his dad. The son is the one that we know.

We’re going to do it, but I just hope it’s seen as loving help. Because that’s what it is. Some people can be embarrassed to be in such a situation. We want to help, without it looking like “pity”. I’m not wording this very well. Hope you know what I’m getting at.
Any thoughts. Thanks for any thoughts.

2

Do it. It will be appreciated. Don’t give them a chance to feel pitied, bring it over, smile and do your Merry Christmases, just ignore any “You shouldn’t have” type response and talk about the weather or something.

3

Yeah, just do it.

If they insist on paying it back, suggest they pay it forward instead.

4

I agree. Do it. They will be grateful. It will make them happy.

5

I agree with this up to and including “bring it over”. The rest, not so much. Our church has done something like this for years, but “you shouldn’t have” is avoided by the following steps: leave the gifts, ring the doorbell, and take off.

To borrow a quote: “Let your good deed be done in secret.”

6

Do it anonymously.

7

A few days ago at the supermarket the kid on the checkout next to me obviously didn’t have enough money to pay for the stuff he had rung up and bagged. I offered him $5 to pay for his stuff.

He said, “You don’t have to do that.”

I replied, “I know that but I want to. If the position was reversed and you had money you would help someone else out wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess I would.”

“OK, your turn next time.”

Under similar circumstances I always find people are placated by the “you would do the same for someone else” logic.

So either that or anonymity.

8

I had an epiphany once – “if you have a generous thought, just do it. Don’t second-guess it.”

If they protest, just say they would do the same thing for someone else someday.

9

Wonderful idea, but do it anonymously.

That way, if he does have mixed emotions about it, he doesn’t have to worry about putting on a fake happy face in front of an audience.

10

My thoughts: you doing this for them or for yourselves? Are you sure they won’t resent your “thoughfulness” at some level? They gonna starve if you don’t do it? If you have to do it, do it anonymously. Spares you both the potential uncomfortableness.

11

I agree. One Christmas we were really hard up. We received two food baskets, never knew from whom. We were very grateful, but not embarrassed. It would have been horrid, in that tiny enclave, to have known the donor.

12

I was assuming a close enough relationship where direct giving made sense. But re-reading the OP I see they don’t even know the father. Anonymous giving is a good thing, there’s no need to receive credit for a gift, if there’s any question then give anonymously.

And props to the OP for doing such a good thing.

13

Like the others said, just leave the basket at the front door. It will be very appreciated.

14

I did something similar for an older lady a few months ago. It was about $30 and I was going to use some of it for some lotto tickets. The old lady teared up, the checker teared up and I got something in my eye. The checker gave me a couple discounts for the good deed and has passed on a few more since.

Also, my wife and I eat breakfast out once a month, part of our agenda is to buy breakfast for someone else in the restaurant. We consider ourselves lucky to have a lifestyle that we can do things like this.