I had a run in with hemorrhoids a few years ago. Scared the crap outa me. What you are describing doesn’t sound like what I went through. Might you have an Anal Fistula?
I was going to make a joke about Three Mile Island level hemorrhoids being pretty damn bad, but it actually sounds like thats what you have.
Dude, get thee to a doctor!
The sooner the better.
Don’t start coating your ass with over-the-counter medications when you have no idea what’s actually going on. There are people who are trained to examine the human body, diagnose ailments, and prescribe appropriate treatment. Go see one. Unless your problem is that your anal sex hamster has died and is decomposing up there, trust me, the doctor will have seen worse.
YOU MIGHT HAVE MRSA IN YOUR TAINT. GO TO THE DOCTOR NOW.
I don’t know where people are getting ‘fungus’. You clearly have a swollen pocket of decaying and suppurating infection, aka a boil or furuncle, usually caused by staph bacteria, and NO JOKE.
And no, nothing about this is normal, it could maim or kill you. Do you want to have to amputate your balls at the end of this? It can give you a deadly blood, brain or organ infection too. GO TO THE DOCTOR NOW.
You know, I think it might be a good idea if you go see a doctor. Just saying.
Seriously though, go. Go now. Have you left yet? GOOO!!!
Two things: Since this has turned into a medical advice thread, I’m moving it to IMHO.
Second, I think it’s pretty clear poor YogSosoth needs to go to the doctor. I don’t think he’s been online today, so maybe that’s where he is. Rather than close the thread, I’m going to leave it open so he can come back and tell us that he lived.
Doctor’s appointment set for 3 hours from now, this…thing is sweating more foul liquid like a pig in a sauna. Another pair of underwear ruined (should I also burn the towel I’ve been using after my showers these past couple of days?). I faked a stomachache because I’m not telling people I have fungal crotch sweat.
I would definately get rid of the towel. And you don’t know yet what it is, might not be fungal. Glad you are going to the doctor!! 
Good luck!
I’m willing to put money on fungal/jock-itch. Anybody want a piece of the action?
I’ll throw down for bacterial infection!
I do not want a piece of anything being discussed in this thread, thank you.
I called it! Fungal infection with secondary bacterial infection.
Glad a doctor visit is happening today.
I believe I was the first mention of fungal infection, was I not?
Oh god, you HAVE to tell us what this was. I have a burning discharge to know!
I mean, desire! yeah, that’s it.
Oh, staph! Is it staph? Whatever it is I’m glad he’s getting a professional opinion. It’s probably nothing serious but it’s good to know one way or the other.
I’ve never shared this much personal info about myself. I’ve always been kind of paranoid about it. I figured if it somehow gets traced back to me, that would be really embarassing, wouldn’t it? Or somehow bad for me? But I don’t know any of you, and now, I never will. Neither will any of you really want to know me either, after this, probably. I guess I’ve been open this far, might as well go all the way, right? Ugh…
The diagnosis was…inconclusive
If any of you medical types want to know, I was given a cream of Bacitracin Zinc and pills of Acyclovir, generic for Zovirax, to take. What could that be?
The doctor said, maybe, it looks like, and he’s not sure…that it could be herpes
O.M.F.G.
What. The. Fuck.!??!?!
How the hell did I get that? No sexual activity in the recent past, no sticking my dick into random glory holes, nothing was ever shoved up there, no poking, fingering, licking, rubbing of that hole whatsoever. And yet, the doctor say I may, MAY, have it. He doesn’t know for certain yet, he seems kind of surprised it wasn’t itching. He told me to take 3 pills a day and use the cream twice a day and then see him in a week. I guess if it is herpes, it will be healed by the meds he gave me.
I’m torn. I don’t want it to be herpes, but if it is, these drugs could fix it. If they don’t, then I don’t have herpes, but then it wouldn’t be fixed. God damn it, what the fuck have I been sitting on? Could I have gotten it from sitting on a public toilet seat? Am I an experiment for aliens who took me while I was asleep??? This next week will be the worst week of my life, no question…
Of course you know, I can never see any of you ever. I should go get a preemptive bag to put over my head for the rest of my life. WTF??? At least other people get it through sex. I got it without it. I didn’t even get the fun of contracting herpes to suffer from it!! Where’s that guy who’s always complaining about his sad love life, I’ve got a story for him! Here’s the headline: “STD transmitted to area man through regular TD means”. And here’s a quote for the byline: “Damn it, at least when most people get the D, they get the S with it, but I got the D without the S, and that’s really F’d!”
That sucks, dude. Glad you saw someone more qualified than a bunch of random strangers.
Called it! Pay up everyone!
And Yos, the doc shoulda told ya nothing needed to be recent. You might have had it for years.
Also: you really need to calm down about it. You’re hardly special. Some estimates place the number of people who have it at 1 in 4 Americans. so it means you and 75 million other people. Hardly something to be hysterical about.
But since your case seems to be insanely aggressive, you need to manage it, and that means taking the oral med for it all the time…I can’t remember the name…crap.
And a definitive diagnosis really only comes from culturing cells taken from actively shedding lesions. You seem to be very actively shedding, no doubt there. Did they take a sample to test?
Sorry about that.
Least its better than a flesh eating virus that makes your butthole and winky fall off.