I’d like to say something.
One time long ago, I got some kind of infection that I thought was herpes. It was after I’d begun a relationship with a wonderful woman who (now I know) truly loved me, and would have probably told me if she’d had herpes. So I went to a clinic and got a test, and they said something like “it’s inconclusive.” I couldn’t belive that they couldn’t give me a definitive answer. Anyway, they gave me Alcyclevoir (spelling, please?) and it seemed to work, and for quite a few years after that I kept a supply of that drug, and took lysine regulary.
That was fine, but I did something horrible as well. I accused this wonderful person–in one moment of desperation-- of infecting me with herpes. I’d assumed that the infection I had was indeed herpes. Now, I know it wasn’t. I regret so much now that I hurt her so. She was perhaps the sweetest, kindest, most intelligent woman I’d ever known. But I was so freaked out because of all the HIV/public health warnings out there that I was paranoid. My ignorance (and lack of proper information) led me to hurt this wonderful person. What I had was probably some other kind of infection that resembled herpes. It has never returned. My anger was that she’d given me an infection that I would keep forever. In fact, she’d given me nothing.
Unforntunately, I didn’t have time to learn that lesson when shortly after that I went to live in the Caribbean and soon after my arrival I somehow ended up with a woman there with no condemn. I said, “I have no condem.” She said, “It’s okay.” I’d assumed that meant “I assure you there’s no need for one.” Well, a week later I thought I’d gotten an infection; it was only a reaction to the climate change. But I freaked out again, and told her that I blamed her, much to show my ingnorance (evidence would have shown much later). Today I regret so much my words, buecause even though she was willing to have unprotected sex, it was ultimately my responsibility no matter what she said. Even if she’d actually infected me, it would have been my fault. I was just so out of my head.
I will never have unprotected sex again. I’ve known women who protest against it, but I hope it’s not for my sake–it’s all the same to me; I feel no difference.
I guess my point is that communication is one of the important tools–no, the MOST important tool–in preventing STDs. Instead of simply blaming these women, I should have just asked them, if they’d experienced symptoms like herpes.
If anybody out there has genital herpes, please look into lysine and Acyclovar. Talk to your doctor. If you have oral herpes, do the same; just be aware of when you have them, they’re very common. In fact, you can keep them to you mouth, it’s just cold sores. Also, chicken pox is just another form of herpes, and some poor people never get rid of chicken pox–it comes back as shingles–basically, it’s a virus that inhabits nerve fibers, inflating and irritating them.
But if the person who has the herpes infection understands all of it’s parameters, yes, there can be a healthy sexual relation, when precaution is taken. Just realize you need to communicate, and if you are infected, you should know all of the precautions for both parties.
I was fortunate–I’d thought twice I’d been infected with herpes, and I was wrong. But I didn’t handle the situation correctly. I should have said: “honey, I’m not sure, but maybe I have an STD. Could it be possible that I got it from you?–I don’t think so, but I have to check to be sure…”