Herbie Vs. General Lee.....

Okay, lets assume that the “magic” that allows Herbie to self-drive has also been cast on the General Lee (the Hemi Orange Dodge Charger that was the real star of the Dukes of Hazzard (both the TV series and the upcoming movie)

2 competitions;

the Drag Race…i see the General winning here, don’t care how much “magic” is under Herbie’s hood, it can’t compete with the mighty Hemi 440, the Herbster’s going to be coughing in the General’s tire smoke, sorry but there’s no replacement for displacement…

the “Fight” (Demolition derby)…once again, the General wins here, but it’ll be a close fight, Herbie’s got the maneuverability advantage, he can easily out-turn the General (the Charger may have been known for it’s tire-blistering straight-line acceleration, but it was not known for it’s prowess in the twisties), but the General has another major thing going in his favor…

weight and inertia, the General is a LOT heavier than Herbie, so all it’ll take is one crushing blow to his rear section to take out the motor, no power, no motion, the tricky part is catching that maneuverable little Bug…

so, who are you betting on, the Mighty Mopar Musclecar (abbreviated as MMM…), or The ‘Love’ Bug…

what other good Herbie Vs. General competitions would you set up?

The Batmobile beats both of them, if it’s prepared. :wink: :smiley:

Oh, and i forgot to add, the winner goes up against K.I.T.T.

I think the competition between Herbie and G.L. should play to their strengths. How about a race to save the family farm from an evil foreign-based corporation while eluding the trio of dimwitted bank robbers that wants to use them as a getaway car and simultaneously finding the lost, heartbreakingly-cute puppy a good home, preferably with a lonely blind moppet of a child? Time limit: one hour, fifty-seven minutes.

That’s true but Hemi engines are 426 cid.

I’d give any performance wins to GL but Herbie outsmarts every time.
And wouldn’t Christine be involved, too?

If both cars had the same cute magic Herbie has, Herbie would win hands down.

Herbie has sort of a pre-teen flirty side to him (he winks at cute girls and makes little “bleep-bleep” sounds) and he does this while going about his business. They wouldn’t be able to break the General Lee away from humping Daisy Dukes Jeep.

I would think The General could take the long jump competition.

Which one could deliver the most Coors beer from Texarkana to Atlanta in 24 hours?

I don’t know much about the two competitors, but I imagine them giving a verbal smackdown in car-horn language before the match. Although I don’t really know how much you can say in a “language” that consists only of the first twelve notes of Dixie.

The General Lee’s best for that job. K.I.T.T. is black, after all.

A few other competitions…

Fuel Economy; Herbie by a longshot
Burnout competition; The General melts his tires off the rim, winner; GL
“Cute” competition; Herbie
“Intimidation” competition; GL
long-term reliability competition; a close tie, but Herbie has the edge
off-roading; GL

and introducing special guest competitor; Megaweapon! :wink:

I think the A-Team van would trump them all. Hands down.

Clearly, this contest boils down to Lindsay Lohan in a racing jumpsuit vs. Jessica Simpson in Daisy Duke shorts.

Herbie would refuse to deliver beer, because he’s kid-friendly.

After the match with KITT, the winner has to go on to fight Optimus Prime (the real deal, not that National Guard guy).

What, not K.A.R.R.?

Okay, using my extremely unscientific testbed of Gran Turismo 4, here’s the acceleration results, each car is raced once no re-runs for best time, NO nitrous

'49 Bug - 81 HP; 1/4 mi dragstrip 17.59 seconds @ 79 MPH (fully upgraded w/ all the upgrades)

'70 Charger - 380 HP (Hemi Orange, if it matters, which it doesent, so anyway) 13.294 seconds @108 MPH (bone stock)

'70 Charger - 689 HP (fully upgraded) 12.084 seconds @132 MPH

it’s clear the General is the clear winner in the 1/4 mile drag :wink:

and since i had the game booted up anyway and was bored, here are some other notable cars…

DeLorean DMC-12 - 448 HP (fully modified) 11.85@127 MPH

Dodge Viper - 927 HP (from the “Viper” TV show :wink: , fully modified) 9.877@153 MPH

James Bond’s Lotus Esprit Turbo - 436 HP; 11.366@131 MPH

Which really means it boils down to how low that racing jumpsuit zipper is unzipped on Ms. Lohan.

Herbie’s got krisma. Bags of it.

So, is “krisma” what you get when you cross “krishna” with “charisma”? :wink:

I think Ms. Lohan wins that one; Mrs. Simpson is not a real person but a Barbie golem.

No, it’s…

Ahahaha. **Ponder Stibbons ** not recognizing a Discworld joke when he sees one? You almost got me there, buddy.

Nice try.