Hercules, Samson, Superman: que es mas macho?

Who would win in a fight between Hercules, Superman, and Samson?

I think Samson would drop out quickly- Superman could use laser vision to cut his hair while flying out of reach. Hercules could deflect heat vision with the skin of the Nemean lion, though.

-Ben

Well, first, I think you mean, “Quien es mas macho?”.

And, obviously, Superman. The others are just fictional characters. Superman’s a real guy.

Yo soy!!!
Peace,
mangeorge

You know, these are all comic book characters (granted, two of them appeared elsewhere first). I’m sure some crossover has done this (or maybe multiple crossovers with just two of them at a time that we can draw conclusions from). So, who’s up for some research?

Ah, now THIS is my kind of thread… a fictional battle 'tween fictional heroes, the purpose of which is unknown… and the majority of people on the planet don’t give a flying fandango!

::ahem:: With that being said…

If this is a battle where neither of the contenders knows much about his adversaries, then I believe Superman would win, hands down. He’s faster than either of the other two (he’s gone toe-to-toe with The Flash), he’s got ranged attack (his heat vision), his sense are better (X-Ray vision, super-hearing, etc.), he can fly, and, well, he’s practically invulnerable.

Hercules, depending on which version of him (the classic Greek hero or Kevin Sorbo?) has great refexes and strength, but he’s really just a souped-up Average Joe.

And Samson’s an idiot with big biceps (as long as his hair is… well… long).

So Supes wins. Unless Herc gets a chunk of kryptonite from Zeus.

Well, it should be remembered that Hercules is half god.

That said, it depends on the writer for Superman–at certain points in the comic, he could literally juggle planets. Sometimes he’s weaker. It depends on who’s behind the wheel.

God I love being a comic geek :smiley:

[Moderator Hat ON]

Can Superman defeat the demigod?! Will Samson’s influence with the Almighty prove decisive?! Which one will prove more fetching during the battle in their respective tights, tunic and fur?! To be continued… in IMHO!

[Moderator Hat OFF]

Nah, yer all wet.

Superchicken could lick 'em all!

Scotti

And it’s not Conner McLoud.

Supes would take them. I would think reasonably easily too but even if it wasn’t he’d still manage to triumph. He never gives up. He represent’s everything that’s good in us after all.

It’s Hercules, Samson and Superman each have a very strong weakness Superman’s is Cryptonite, and Samson’s is the lack of his hair, Hercules has no weakness!

Spoofe . . . didn’t The Flash win that race though? I haven’t seen the comic the race took place in but I thought he won. The Flash is, after all, the fastest man alive.

Superman has a strategic advantage of flight though, as noted in the OP, so he’d need some sort of bait to be brought down to earth.

I’d have to say Hercules wins in the end though. I mean, this guy was able to defeat even James Woods! Who did Superman defeat that compares? Richard Pryor? Uh uh.

Hercules. For all the pro-Herc statements previously posted.
Especially if he’s Kevin Sorbo.

¿Quién es más macho? Why, Ricardo Montebon, of course.

**

Not necessarily a valid assumption. Think of Samson: it doesn’t matter what he tries to keep secret (the answer to a riddle, the hair thing, whatever,) people already know about it. And as for Hercules, the heroes of Greek myths always find out about other people’s weaknesses, like Odysseus and Circe. And Superman has the library of the Fortress of Solitude to draw on.

I tend to agree with the sentiment that Hercules is better off, because he has no weakness. Admittedly, he does have two: his jealous temperament and a fondness for boys. But it’s unlikely that Superman would exploit those, even if he could.

**

Ah, but the classic version is also invulnerable (Nemean lion) and has a range weapon (arrows dipped in the blood of the Gorgon.) If the latter is magical, it can kill Superman. If Superman doesn’t know anything about his opponents, he won’t even see any reason to dodge the arrows until it’s too late.

**

Nobody seems to think Samson has any chance against Superman or Hercules, but what about Obelix? Can Samson beat him?

More likely Zeus would tell him about kryptonite, but Hera would make sure it was someplace hard to get to.

-Ben

Ignoring the opening scenario, I’d like to adress the question at face value: which of the three is the most macho? Now, bear in mind that the question was not which one was more powerfu, more skilled or more tough - no, the question was one of attitude. Macho is a way of life, not a betting tally, and I think that we should judge our contenders by the size of their cojones instead of how much they can bench-press.

So first things first - drop the guy who wears red underwear over blue tights, and who (as far as we know) has never had sex. He is an embaressment to the macho ethos.

Now Hercules. Yeah, he’s got the moves. Wrestling monsters, shifting rivers, the works. And you know he didn’t keep his hair in a nice little black D.A. Yep, Hercules sure had what it takes - but still, not all is perfect. He spent half his life whining over his dead kids. Who needs that? Get on with it, buddy. And yeah, he may beat the crap out of giant, but do you know how he died? By poisoned shirt. Not, in my book, the flashiest way to go.

But Samson, ah… now that’s a Manly Man. Slaying lions with his bare hands. Killing armies with the bones of dead animals. Making stupid riddles as an excuse to keep on ripping off heads. And yes, I hold his downfall by a women in his favor. It just shows which part of his anatomy was really doing the thinking. As for his death…heh, heh,heh. Pulling down the roof on your enemies and yourself nis as badass as it gets.

Samson was a prophet; the founder of the religeon of Tough. He’s Macho 1.01. The original, and best.

You know, I think the man has a point here…

-Ben

Alessan, I agree with you on superman…but wait! Herc killed lions with his bare hands! He killed poison serpents sent to kill him when he was a babe in a cradle! He changed a river’s course, and, and, he killed plenty of people! He also impregnated some king’s 50 daughters in one night. If that isn’t Macho, to it’s highest degree, I don’t know what it.

Yeah, but Hercules was a pedophile. That’s how he ended up getting separated from the rest of the Argonauts- he was looking for his boy. I think he gets some minus points for that.

-Ben

Ben, I’m curious–where did you hear about Herc and boys? I don’t recall ever seeing anything like that in any mythology I have read. Personally, I think it’s a vicious rumor started by jelous other wanna-be heros.

I think I read it in Bulfinch’s (although Bulfinch’s is so Bowdlerized that I find that a little hard to believe- maybe I read it somewhere else.) When the Agonauts made a pit stop, Hercules and his boy went onto an island to stretch their legs. The boy got lost, and Hercules took so long looking for him that the Argo left without him.

-Ben