Here's a million bucks. Now disappear.

So yo’ve just come into a a fortune–a million dollars, to be specific. Cash. A hundred thousand C-notes, or whatever the equivalent is in your local currency. That’s the good news.

The bad news is that there’s some bad people who want you dead. No, you can’t but them off; you couldn’t even if the fortune you had was a thousand times greater. They want you dead, and they want you to do slowly, screaming in pain and begging for mercy as if you were from Arkansas or something. Neither the

So you need to disappear. What’s your plan? What particular difficulties will you haveto deal with?

How good are the bad guys at tracing/tracking license plates?

If not in their repertoire, I get on my motorcycle, and go. Just go. Paying cash for travel expenses, never check in anywhere that asks for an ID.

Get a prepaid cell phone, and live off the grid. Camp out a lot, which I already do when I travel by bike.

I’ve actually “kind of” done this before. I went on a cross country (and back) motorcycle trip, and, just for the heck of it, got as off the grid as I could. Probably used my ID a max of 4 times in 3000+ miles over a 3 week period.

Neither the whaaaaaat?

And isn’t 100,000 C notes $10 million anyway?

One of them is the evil version of Abby Scuito.


That gives me just the kick in the pants (and cash) I need to go off-grid. Where? WHY SO YOU CAN TELL THEM?

Suffice to say it will be wooded and within driving distance of a town, because I’m not a total barbarian.

You’re just stubbornly fighting the hypothetical.
Next you’ll be suggesting that you can but anybody off.

I am sending somebody to your house to rip out random pages from your copy of The Silmarillion and replace them with pages from Twilight.

Bad guys aren’t usually yachtsmen, are they? So I get a sailboat and sail around. Drop anchor or stay in little marinas along the way up and down the coast. Easy peasy!

Do my best to change my name and/or lay low for awhile.

Then get a job as a tech in Antarctica. Well I suppose a job on the International (what a joke) Space Station would be better that is really pushing things reality wise. The tech job is probably doable with a bit of perserverance.

Sadly, if the million bucks were the royalties from The Satanic Verses, this hypothetical would be Salman Rushdie’s real life.

I pull a “Michael” and go back to Sicily. With that kind of dough I can buy a lot of protection.

Point Barrow Alaska, it’ll literally be the last place they’ll look.

“There are no clean getaways”. I would first make sure there was not an electronic tracker hidden with the cash. I would not want some psycho with a silenced shotgun hunting me down, using a bolt pistol to break door locks (obligatory Coen filmreference).

Name change and location change would be in order, as well as keeping a low profile for 2-5 years. Maybe to a small town somewhere. Would have to be careful of my electronic signature, tho.

I was thinking the question was inspired by Osama.

A million dollars is exactly what Golgo-13 charges for a hit. So, I spend the money to have my enemy killed, and go on with my regular life not needing to put myself through the trouble of disappearing.

Don’t try to game the hypothetical. Besides, the OP said “people” out to get you, as in plural, so your one hit man doing one hit is not going to do it for you.

Assuming one of Skald’s scribes(may he rest in pieces) meant to write “10,000 C-notes”, I see a couple of problems-spending 100 dollar bills is going to leave a trail…as will any attempt to change a number of them into smaller bills if you take too long to do it and leave a trail. Your best bet is to do it all on the same day, on a payday Friday(late afternoon) when the banks and credit unions are primed to do a lot of business. Change in a few thousand in hundreds at each one until you think you’ve got enough to get by on. Go online and purchase tickets for buses, trains and flights out of town, then go buy a secondhand car for cash from someone’s front yard and drive out of town. People who run go for one of two extremes-they either try to hide in the boonies or in “The Big City”, so a middle-sized city is the best bet. If you are going to try to stay in one place, don’t make people wonder where your money comes from. Buy things like you normally would as if you had a comfortable job-just don’t go to work. Go to a movie, take long drives, take in plays, college classes, whatever. In the meantime, slowly convert some more of those hundreds in case you have to disappear again and, if you do, again go where they won’t expect you to go, like maybe the state capital or Anaheim.

See that’s why I thought of the Osama scenario. No amount of bribes/fighters was going to stop the American soldiers going after him. So he found a really good hiding place.

Okay, but given your OP I expect to find my copy of Sybil mutilated to include pages from Oliver Twist.

And only if said book ripper gets past Tevildo and Huan.

It’s tough to get lost in the modern world. Here’s some strategies to consider:

  1. Get a credible fake identity. It’s not only the documentation, you can’t raise suspicion by trying to live a life that is obviously not yours.

  2. Change physical appearance. I’m kind of limited there, I can shave my head and face. I can use fake tattoos some of the time.

  3. Find a place to get lost. I’m too old to live in the wilderness so I’d move into a crowded metropolitan area. Public transportation or private car sales only. No international travel, no Amtrak, planes, or anything else where someone might take a picture or record my identity.

  4. Stay light. Convert the bills to gold, it’s heavy but doesn’t take much space. Not all at once, stopping in at pawn shops and cash for gold places to convert to gold or back to cash as needed. Keep a light set of clothes and belongings so I can pick up and move frequently.

  5. Best bet is fake my own death so they’ll stop looking. Not easy to do, I need to leave the charred remains of a fairly large body. Dental identification is something I don’t have to worry about, but those guys may remain suspicious if there’s no way to positively identify my body as me.

  6. Go to Vegas, spend it all on hookers and blow before they kill me.