Here's Something to Make You Nice and Sick!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I never eat at salad bars, but this still made me feel ever so unwell:

"A man arrested Friday after he was found spraying a foul liquid on a salad bar in Midtown has also been charged with a similar offense that day at Grand Central Terminal, Metropolitan Transportation Authority officials and the police said yesterday. The suspect, Marco Arellano, 34, was detained Friday after an employee at Alpine Gourmet Farm at 480 Seventh Avenue near 36th Street saw him spraying the store’s salad bar with a liquid, the police said. He was charged in that incident with reckless endangerment, criminal mischief, criminal tampering and public urination.

Because of the foul smell, witnesses told the police that they believed the substance in the bottles Mr. Arellano was found with might have been a mixture of urine and feces. But Sandra Mullin, a City Health Department spokeswoman, said yesterday that tests had not been completed to determine if human waste was present in the liquid. Preliminary tests have confirmed that the liquid contained bacteria, she said."

2

Sick people all over the place!

3

You mean the sneeze guard wasn’t working? Isn’t it there to keep our salad bars safe from germs??

I may never dine out again…

4

That’s all of two blocks from where I get salad all the time.

I think I’ll be having the soup for awhile.

Reminds me of something that happened at Columbia a year or so ago. Some wacko would sneak in to one of the main humanities academic buildings at night and smear the chalkboards on the top floor with vast quantities of his own feces.

After doing it two or three times, the repeat defecator was caught in flagrante delicto, as it were. Fortunately I didn’t have any classes on the seventh floor of Hamilton.

5

“I think I’ll be having the soup for awhile.”

—N’uh-uh . . . I used to get soup at a salad bar on Madison and 39th Street. Then, about ten years ago, I found a USED BAND-AID in my soup. Have never patronized a salad bar since.

6

Looks like I’ll be having the special.

Guess the above is why I won’t eat on the east side.

MR

7

“Who made the salad dressing? Me…and Seven Seas…and the Department of Public Utilities, Wastewater Treatment Division.”

Now, back to our program…

And doesn’t “criminal mischief” just sound too cute to be a real offense?

8

I go to a very nice restraunt, which wasn’t very busy, so the adults let the kids run all over. One kid goes to the dessert table, and takes down the easter eggs, and starts rolling them through the deserts. I say “Where the Hell is this kid’s parents?”. The kid starts breaking all the cookies as two tables down some adult gets up and says “Come here Andrew.”.

From the other end of the dining room comes a group of kids. How about one of the kids sucking food out of the buffet tray? Yumm yumm. This is normaly a great place to eat, but I never do buffets anywhere.

9

Damn, how’d you find out about that?

Looks like I gotta find other places to go spray now.

:frowning:

10

Also, my doctor once told me that the “hot food” in the salad bars is kept at EXACTLY the right temperature to develop cat-sized bacteria that reach out and drag you down as you lean over to look at it.

The Times ran a piece today about how clean urine is—so as long as there was no feces in the spray, the salad was as healthy and yummy as ever. Mmm-mmm, gimme a tray!

11

closes eyes

assumes lotus position

chants

ThankgodIliveinthemountains
ThankgodIliveinthemountains
ThankgodIliveinthemountains
ThankgodIliveinthemountains
ThankgodIliveinthemountains

Ick.

12

Clean urine?
What is this lately with the clean urine thing? I’ve read other articles saying urine is clean, safe to drink and so on, but medically related friends of mine assure me that urine carries germs and bacteria and is concentrated waste fluid. Urine can carry the AIDS and Hepatitis virus! Urine is harmless only to the person who produces it.

Anyone using anything to contaminate food the public is going to consume should be charged with felonious assault! The guy mentioned in the post, in my opinion, should have also ‘accidentally’ walked into a few walls on his way to jail.

I really get angry at parents who cannot control their little criminals when in restaurants, especially in buffets. It bugs me something awful to find dirty fingered little kids using their hands to sort through deserts or stacks of rolls while Mom and Dad just ignore them.

13

You want a disgusting salad bar story? I got’cher freakin’ disgusting salad bar story right here, pally! It happened in the town where I live.

Back in the early 1980s a group of followers of the Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, an Indian mystic guru, moved into Wasco County, Oregon. (They’re the group that kept buying Rolls Royces for their leader. He had, I believe 83 of them when the movement fell apart in 1985.)

They bought a 10,000 acrea ranch in a far corner of the county and proceeded to import people until they had enough to incorporate a small ciy (several hundered people) and started to look as if they were going to go after political control of the county. Tensions arose between them and the locals, escalating to some very nasty dirty tricks on their part.

At one point, they bred salmonella bacteria and brought them in spray bottles to the county seat (The Dalles, Oregon, population 11,000) and secretly sprayed the lettuce in every salad bar in town.

Over **700 people ** were affected, and the local hospital was swamped, with severe cases lying in cots in the hallways. It was awful.

I could easily have been one of the people affected, but at the time I disdained salad bar fixins in favor of the all-you-can-eat pizza line and thus was spared the agonies of some of my vegan friends (though we certainly didn’t call them “vegans” in the 80s). I sometimes tell this cautionary tale to my family in defense of cholesterol. (You have no idea how hard it is to find true stories with this slant).

Eventually, the action by the Rajneesh followers was discovered, other problems arose and the Bhagwan tried to flee the country. The incorporated city of Rajneeshpuram was disincorporated and the ranch sold for back taxes. It’s now a youth camp for a church group.

Sic Transit Gloria Mundi, etc.

Avoid salad bars.

14

As long as you don’t eat outside, JC. You might be enjoying a serving of hot-and-sour soup, get distracted for a second, and BINGO, a Purple Martin’s just relieved himself directly in your bowl from an altitude of thirty meters. Thinking it’s a choice bit of coddled egg, you dig in with renewed gusto…

15

You’re a sick, sick bastard.

And I love you for it.

16

That’s what shotgun’s are for, Ike. Vengeance on the critters of the world.

And yes, eating outdoors has it’s hazards.

But at least they’re RANDOM!

I repeat. Ick.

17

I know the waitresses at this restraunt, and we had finished dinner before the kid ate directly out of the buffet bowl. Just before the kid about 40 adults went through the buffet. It looked like a company dinner of hicks. Our waitress started to write up our tab by the buffet, and didn’t finish. She picks up a plate and scoops someting out of about half of the trays, and throws the plate into the dish bin stating something about the biggest pigs she ever saw. Our bill came out after about four minutes of her being in the kitchen cooling down. It’s nice to be known were you dine out, at least if your not a cheap SOB.