Hershey's Smores Bars Make Me Vomit Blood

[Sylkyn]

@neuroman

On the plus side, the store was also selling jumbo sized Hershey’s Symphony bars for $0.99. Now, those aren’t quite Godiva but they’re pretty tasty.

Oooohh…I forgot about those. The Symphony bars are damn good. One of the better Hershey efforts.

(ponders how much I want to go back out and buy one…eh…maybe later on in the week)

[Governor_Quinn]

@slaphead

Every product of theirs I have ever encountered seems to consist of brown food colouring, icing sugar and some sort of blubber, in varying proportions.

You forgot the chalk.

[Amazon_Floozy_Goddess]

@neuroman

Hershey’s Smores Bars were on clearance for $0.29 at the grocery store today, so I bought three as a what-the-heck impulse buy.

How can I describe them? Eating half of one was like having a small, fat, bald man made out of rancid tallow crawl down my throat. Then he took a shit in my esophagus and donkey punched the inside of my stomach until it bled.

:: PUKE ::

So, what should I do with these other two unopened bars?

That was no fat, bald man. That was Timmy the Beef Tallow Boy! You know, the spokesperson for Flod, the Most Perfect Cube of Fat?

[Gail]

Does anybody like these bars? The marshmallow portion is like eating foam rubber. I once bought one from the candy machine at work. Once.

[MysteryFellow63427]

@Amazon Floozy Goddess

That was no fat, bald man. That was Timmy the Beef Tallow Boy! You know, the spokesperson for Flod, the Most Perfect Cube of Fat?

Well, it did kind of feel like there was a press conference being held in my stomach after I ate the Smores bar…

[velvetjones]

@Anastasaeon

Blech. I hate Hershey’s “chocolate”, and I’m a lover of most things vaguely sweet and chocolate-like (along with the real stuff).

Hershey’s “chocolate” always tastes like I ate a stinkbug. Or a bowl of cricket lips.

this made me laugh out loud. Cricket lips! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…;

Thanks for the laugh

[Scumpup]

@astro

I always thought the plain Hershey’s chocolate bar with almonds and Hershey’s plain chocolate bar were perfectly fine. Some of the more involved concoctions are pretty vile but the simple stuff compared favorably with Godiva’s etc. I’ve tasted several different types of purportedly “super premium” chocolates, and I’m always left wondering what the big fuss is all about. They’re have a smoother and finer texture than Hersheys, but they’re not “OMFG this is amazing! There’s a chocolate party going on in my mouth!”

I agree. I’ve had imported/premium chocolate and didn’t find it notably superior to Hershey’s basic product. I suspect this (along with whether steak should ever be cooked well done, whether chili should have beans in it and whether a martini should be shaken or stirred) is just one more way in which to indulge in a bit of food snobbery.
BTW, based on some experiences while travelling and with stuff brought home by travelling friends and relatives, other countries have their own shitty-tasting candies and snack foods. Those seldom get imported to the US because (guess what?) mass-market importers figure there won’t be large sales of shitty-tasting candies and snacks even if they do have the cachet of sophistication that can only come from being foreign. Of course, there is that subset of the population who would buy and eat the Belgian prawn-with-spearmint-and-clove flavored potato crisps because, you know, plain old American potato chips are just so nasty, but their relatively small demand can be met by specialty importers.

[Fringe]

I think the Smores bars are delicious. I don’t see what all the hate is about.

[Cat_Whisperer]

Hershey’s chocolate tastes like soapy ass. That is all.

You can buy Bernard Callebaut online. It might ruin you for the brown, soapy wax that is Hershey chocolate. I’m not a huge food snob, but American chocolate just isn’t, what’s that word again? Oh yeah - good.

[Anastasaeon]

@velvetjones

this made me laugh out loud. Cricket lips! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…;

Thanks for the laugh

bows

Blatantly nicked, however, from Exidor of Mork & Mindy, if I remember correctly.

Ar, ar.

[slaphead]

@Scumpup

I’ve had imported/premium chocolate and didn’t find it notably superior to Hershey’s basic product.

Neuhaus pralines, Green & Black’s chocolate bars, Ritter Sport and other CHOCOLATE (containing lots of cocoa) products are a very different bag from Hershey’s chocolate-flavoured vegetable fat candies . Still, I guess there really is no accounting for tastes. Just as long as Hershey’s keep the hell away from proper chocolate makers, everything will be fine.

[Scumpup]

@slaphead

Neuhaus pralines, Green & Black’s chocolate bars, Ritter Sport and other CHOCOLATE (containing lots of cocoa) products are a very different bag from Hershey’s chocolate-flavoured vegetable fat candies . Still, I guess there really is no accounting for tastes. Just as long as Hershey’s keep the hell away from proper chocolate makers, everything will be fine.

From your link on vegelate:

In the United States, confections cannot be labeled as chocolate if they contain vegetable fats. When vegetable fats are present the item must be labeled as chocolate flavored candy.

The Hershey bar in front of me is labelled as “milk chocolate.”

[slaphead]

@Scumpup

The Hershey bar in front of me is labelled as “milk chocolate.”

Hey, you got one of the good ones!
Anyhow, we luckily don’t get Hershey’s over here. Their website doesn’t have anything other than a ‘chocolate candy’ section, which fooled me. What yummies does it have listed under ‘Ingredients’?

Mind you, over here people eat things like Mars Bars, which are basically diabetes in a crinkly wrapper. It’s not like crimes against chocolate are a US exclusive.

[Scumpup]

@slaphead

Anyhow, we luckily don’t get Hershey’s over here.

Then how is it you are so sure that they are no good?

[Motorgirl]

@slaphead

What yummies does it have listed under ‘Ingredients’?

Standard Hershey bar:
Sugar, Milk, Cocoa Butter, Chocolate, Soya Lecithin, Vanillin.

My only complaint with Hersheys is I wish they’d use real vanilla. But they’re not the only chocolate company guilty of that.

[Neurotik]

@Motorgirl

My only complaint with Hersheys is I wish they’d use real vanilla. But they’re not the only chocolate company guilty of that.

Well, not only is real vanilla pretty darn expensive, but there’s no way you’d be able to taste the difference in a chocolate bar. The vanilla subtleties would be massively overwhelmed and overpowered by the cocoa. It’d be like complaining because they used Jack Daniels in your whiskey and Coke instead of Johnnie Walker Blue Label.

[Cat_Whisperer]

@Motorgirl

Standard Hershey bar:
Sugar, Milk, Cocoa Butter, Chocolate, Soya Lecithin, Vanillin.

My only complaint with Hersheys is I wish they’d use real vanilla. But they’re not the only chocolate company guilty of that.

If that’s the standard Hershey’s ingredients, how do they get them to taste so nasty? Are you sure you didn’t miss “soap?” (And we do have Hershey’s chocolate here - I’ve eaten enough to know it’s crap.)

[Scumpup]

@featherlou

If that’s the standard Hershey’s ingredients, how do they get them to taste so nasty? Are you sure you didn’t miss “soap?” (And we do have Hershey’s chocolate here - I’ve eaten enough to know it’s crap.)

How much is “enough?” If enough > 1, why did you keep eating them if they tasted nasty to you?

[Excalibre]

@Scumpup

I agree. I’ve had imported/premium chocolate and didn’t find it notably superior to Hershey’s basic product. I suspect this (along with whether steak should ever be cooked well done, whether chili should have beans in it and whether a martini should be shaken or stirred) is just one more way in which to indulge in a bit of food snobbery.

snerk

Keep telling yourself that, buddy. I’d rather not have demand raise the price on decent chocolate.

[Motorgirl]

@Neurotik

Well, not only is real vanilla pretty darn expensive, but there’s no way you’d be able to taste the difference in a chocolate bar. The vanilla subtleties would be massively overwhelmed and overpowered by the cocoa. It’d be like complaining because they used Jack Daniels in your whiskey and Coke instead of Johnnie Walker Blue Label.

I have a friend whose daughter is allergic to artificial vanilla (among other things) so I have to be careful when buying chocolate to use in any recipeI plan to feed to her. For myself, I just eat the Hershey’s.