This is actually a two part question for women who self-identify as straight:
When you’re in semi-dressed or exposed situations, eg beaches, gym change rooms, showers etc, do you check out other women, compare yourself to them, or admire them?
In general, do you feel that you are in some sort of unwitting competition with other women, in terms of desirability or attractiveness or appearance?
I am asking this as research for a possible work of short fiction and, as a “middle aged white guy” I would like to have some modicum of accuracy.
I notice the physical appearance of every human being I encounter, to a greater or lesser extent… it’s not as if I am blind to all that part of humanity who wouldn’t be “beddable” on the basis of sex, age or professionality. And sometimes I think “holy fuck, she’s my age and looks ten years older” or “damn, wish I could be arsed be that stylish - ok, not really”.
Yes. Sometimes I compare myself because I have lost weight over the years and struggle to understand what my current size is. So I might look a bit closer at someone’s thighs to see if mine are a similar size, for example.
I can definitely admire the female form. It really is quite lovely!
Nope. I’m happily married, off the market. And I’ve matured and no longer base my self esteem on whether other people think I’m attractive. So there is no need to compete. It’s a lovely place to get to - the ability to admire a beautiful female without any pangs of jealousy or resentment.
This is interesting. I work in a humungous company in Montreal with a huge office population supporting our products. Most of the female staff make an obvious and significant effort to look very good (Montreal and Quebec City have this reputation in Canada btw) and I assume that the distribution of married-to-single is the same as any other randomly selected female population in this city.
So I’m curious about the motivation. I personally don’t want to look like a bag of shit but I also make no effort beyond presentable and appropriate for the office. The women, on the other hand, are generally in the damn attractive to hot range, even if married.
Your original question asks about beach or locker room scenarios rather than business, and I think you’d get a different answer, at least in terms of why women dress up at the workplace. I’m just another middle-aged guy here, but it’s my impression that women are held to higher standards for appearance in the workplace. As guys, we can schlep in with our suit and tie and no one looks any further. Women tend to be expected to wear makeup, spend more time on hair, add more accessories and jewelry, things like that. It may or may not be formally expressed that way in the employee handbook, but it tends to be important nevertheless.
What I occasionally do is compare myself to women I find attractive, to see whether I’m working with the same tool kit they are. If the answer is yes, then yay for my ego because that suggests I’m cute too (I know that’s not necessary true on rational level, but whatever). If no, then I’ll note the features that makes her come out ahead and silently give her props. Usually it’s a flawless makeup job or hair that looks styled out of fashion magazine.
Not that rarely, I’ll see an attractive woman who has an imperfection that you’d think would detract from her overall look but doesn’t. Seeing them is a relief and a reminder that I shouldn’t assign so much significance to my own imperfections. I think lots of women feel the same way, which explains why there is such a push to showcase models that defy conventional standards of beauty.
My wife said she was glancing at her butt in the bathroom mirror at a baseball game and a woman said, “yeah, your butt looks good.” Of course I’ve told her that a jillion times.
I’m not straight, and I don’t check out other women in locker rooms. If I felt tempted to do so then I’d try to restrain myself, but I can’t remember ever even being tempted. Locker rooms are not IMHO sexy places, changing in and out of your gym clothes is not a sexy activity, and I’m busy changing my own clothes anyway.
Both questions are bit yes and no for me. I look at people all the time.
Other women in little to no clothing? Meh. Not so much, except a bit of a “Daymn girl, that is some impressive muscle tone!”
I don’t compare myself to other women b/c we aren’t commodities. I’m me. That other woman is that woman. I do think things like “Oh I’d so love to have a pixie haircut and be a tiny little thing!” But that has it’s own pluses and minuses.
My office (lots more men than women) is techie casual. We’re getting Important Visitors two days next week and the local manager sent a mail to all saying we had to dress “professional” (we do! we’re techies! we dress techie!), specifying “no T-shrits”. One of the VIPs is the regional president. Much moaning about having to wear long sleeves was heard from multiple individuals…
(Note that this is a country where members of government and wannabe Presidents do wear jeans and tees. If the regional Prez comes in a tee I’ll laugh my ass off)
In many jobs, the main reason of quite a few of the people there to dress the way they do is “regulations”. I’ve never been told I need to dress more fashionably, more feminine or be sweeter outside of a business context; every time I’ve been told that in a business context is one too many, and yes, all three have happened.
