Hey asshole! Clean up after your dog!

You’ve been here three days. Coincidentally, for three days I have had to tiptoe around dog shit on my way to work. I finally managed to spot you taking your dog to the exact spot, and asked you if you clean up after your dog. The spaniel that has been here for three days, the spaniel that headed exactly for the spot where you have had him shit, leaving spaniel sized shit for three days exactly on my route down the hill to go to work.

The fact that you can pull a bag out of your pocket only proves that you have had a bag in your pocket for three days. They give them out when new residents with pets move in, and tell you that there are more bags in stands about the complex, and tell you that you should clean up after your dog. Somehow, the reason that I’ve been here for two years, and you will only be here for two months relieves you of responsibility of cleaning up after your dog.

Am I the dog shit police? You bet your fucking ass I am!

I say you stick his nose in it and scold, “Bad boy! Bad, bad boy!” Maybe whack him on the head with a newspaper.

And pet the dog.


And shit

I’ve got to admit, it’s a pretty nice looking spaniel. I’d be happy to pet it. And teach it that it should shit on its owner’s doorstep.

I walk or jog the local rail trail every day and am amazed at how many people don’t clean up after their dogs. I admit it isn’t the most fun part of owning a dog, but it just seems courteous.

Spaniels can be forgetful, though. As a step in reinforcing this lesson for the dog, perhaps you could arrange that any future deposits be transplanted to the doorstep in question.

I’m having images of a dog doing the scoot as we speak.

I don’t exactly know which one it is. I know which one of four it is, but if I get it wrong out of those four, I would, frankly, feel like shit.

I’ve emailed management with the three days and spaniel info, hopefully they can and will nail it down.

I was at the park once - a predominant children’s park- and a woman drives up,lets her dog roam free until it shits. She then picks up the dog, ready to leave.

Me: excuse me, you are going to clean up after your dog right? This is a kids park and they are notorious for not paying attention to where they step.
She:(shoots daggers from eyes)
me: I have a bag if you’d like (holding up a snack sized baggie).
After shooting me more eye daggers, she rummages in her car for 5 minutes to find a bag.
Her: I always clean up after my dog!
Me: that is awesome! Thank you for thinking of the children!!

I am a high officer of the dog shit police.

I have 2 dogs myself. It’s terrible to pick up a pile of warm poop, but it’s the cost of being a dog owner.

I have a little strip of grass between my garage and my neighbors. One day I come out there to find a mine field of dog poop. Obviously the same person was stopping there. As luck would have it I caught the person doing it and admonished him for the event. I wasn’t hateful with the speech he got. It was more along the line of “dude totally not a righteously thing to do”. He has since moved on. Good lord, there was a turd per square foot.

People don’t think. Boy was I mad.

If I step in a dog turd, I don’t rant and rail against dirty dogs and their filthier owners; I curse myself for being such a daydreaming twit and stepping in it.

You’ve already said you know exactly where the dog does its business, AND you are still going and stepping in it! Open your eyes and watch where you are walking, ffs! Would it help if dog-owners took out fluorescent spray paint and highlighted these “doggy-dos” for y’all?

All society would need to do is provide small sand boxes in urban areas for dogs to be taken to, and voila, a few more jobs created.

ps. Okay, you haven’t stepped in it yet, but the “tip-toeing around it” bit kind of implies that you are worried about doing so!

Are you fucking kidding me? You’re one of those lazy, inconsiderate, self-entitled, ass-hole dog owners aren’t you?

I can only hope someone rubs your face over one of your dog’s turds for being such a dick.

Around here, it’s come to the point were we can’t go to the park to toss a ball around because 3 times out of 5 we come back with dog shit on our pants and shoes. just last week I almost slammed into a neighbor as we were both busy staring down at the ground and doing the “avoid the dog shit” dance.

I am not a death penalty supporter, but all it took was having stepped on dog shit three times on the same week just before getting to my car on the way to work before I realized that the death penalty? Not punishment enough for these type of people.


and shit.

I just want to be clear on this, to make sure I am not the asshole dog owner. If I am out in the woods, and my dog poops off the trail, do I still have to pick it up? I pick it up if its on the trail, or in the park area, but not generally if its in the wooded area. since there is other wildlife also pooping in the woods, I didn’t think additional dog poop would be a problem.

No need to pit me - just looking for clarification.
Oh yeah . . . . and shit.

At first I thought you must be thinking of cats, but then I realized you really weren’t thinking.

Fuck these must be really gigantic dog turds or really narrow footpaths…maybe a combination of both, but I feel your pain. Recently I came across a dog turd on the footpath but thanks to our robust Aussie footpaths I was able to walk, not even tiptoe, around it. I while back I trod in one, but we have grass here that you can use to just wipe the dogshit off. Maybe you could campaign for some where you live - it’s that green stuff.

Whe I’m dictator of the world all dogs will have DNA licenses. Traffic wardens, police officers and other official will then be instructed to collect DNA samples from ‘leavings’ on the street and my henchmen will visit the offending owner’s house dead of night with a personal message from myself.

This mesage will be delivered via the medium of ass-kicking.

Our dogs are trained to go off in the brush to shit. Whether at home or on a walk, they get as far off as possible before going. Our lawn is immaculate, and we never have to pick up shit. Why don’t people train their dogs to do this? You are already training the dog not to shit in the house, just take it a tiny step forward and teach it to go in a specific location.

So, you’d be willing to fight someone whose dog you saw shitting in a public place, or you’d just like someone else to do it for you? Are you people real?