I’m going to take that fucking CD you have dangling from your rearview mirror and I’m going to shove it up your ass sideways. Then I’m going to reach down your fucking throat, pull it out, rip your head off, shit down your neck, and replace it so that you have better brains than you’ve got now. You stupid, trendy, punk-ass, son-of-a-bitch. You almost made me run into a fucking phone pole because the morning sun reflected off the mirror-like surface of the compact disc that you have hanging in your goddamn windshield into my eyes and I was damned near blinded.
Next time I’ll have your ass.
Who wants to rant on another trendy fuckstick annoyance on the road–besides the Calvin pissing on Ford or Fuckengrooven, since those have been done to death?
Tailgaters really piss me off. The speed limit is 75 mph, I’m doing something like 85 or 95, and still this isn’t fast enough. Fuck you.
Except of course when my teeth hurt and the dentist’s assitent tells me to get over there within 45 minutes and it’s a 20 mile drive. THEN it’s okay for me to tailgate your lazy fucking ass doing 75 mph when I’m striving for 110. Man, get the fuck out of my way! (I clocked that 20 miles - of which 8 miles urban - at 24 minutes. Can’t wait for the speeding tickets to arrive.)
Skinny probably knows what I’m talking about, as this is a common occurence on the Dutch motorways.
A lease Ford Mondeo, Opel Vectra or Volkswagen Passat, Stationwagon edition, Diesel engine, foglights a-blazin’, all other lights dimmed, riding your ass at over 140 km/h in the left lane, while you (the car in front, in this case a handsome, tasteful Peugeot) are just passing a shitload of trucks that are in the right lane. In other words, IF I go to the right lane, I have to slam on the brakes and deploy the 'chute in order to avoid ending up in a trailer full of pigs. So, guess what, asshole? I’m NOT moving over untill I can do so at my current speed, which is 20 km/h faster than the limit anyway. Not unless you have blue flashing lights and a siren. Shithead.
Bonus: the fuckhead is talking on his phone. No handsfree kit, of course. That’s for sissies.
::sighs:: Well, been a while since I’ve simultaneously annoyed Dopers and killed a thread at the same time.
C’mon, fellow motorists are just people; y’know, average schoos trying to get from Point A to Point B, temporarily clad in sophisticated, symbol-laden, lethal hunks of machinery.
There’s annoyance and then there’s trauma. Annoyance is predictable human stupidity (or obliviousness): futzing up implied or real rules of the road, getting in the way, being clueless humans.
But they’re just human in mechanical wrapping! People are not their means of transport. Can we get a fucking grip here? Would you body-slam another person on a sidewalk, face-to-face?
Sure, slow walkers clog your passage, and travelling at high speed (with godawful weight of moving metal ups the equation). And that equation hones the stakes for everyone.
It bothers me, when the simple act of people getting around gets so freighted with speed, aggression and anger. Cars aren’t people! They’re tools!
Shit, I’m blithering again. But the anger and paranoia seem so out-of-scale. If someone is a real danger, that’s one thing. But reasonable, courteous driving makes allowances too.
Yeah, thanks for killing my first thread in weeks, Veb.
Oh, and Unc, chrome stays fairly stable in its position, so you know where not to look. The mirror-like CD keeps rotating and changing its angle, therefore flashing reflected sunlight in your eyes at random times and angles.
Hey Grandma, see how many Beanie Babies you can cram into your rear window, you never look out of it anyway. And by all means don’t turn that blinker off, you’re going to turn left eventually, right?
I happily admit that IRL I’m a fairly easy-going, fun-loving kind of guy.
But put me behind the wheel and I become the Terminator.
I have very loud conversations with the dickhead in front of me who doesn’t understand that the left lane is for passing, not puttering along at 55 mph. And, you know, if you checked your fucking rearview mirror once in a while you’d see that there are a dozen fucking cars lined up behind you, bumper to bumper, because you’re going so fucking slow. And the reason people are flashing their lights at you is to tell you exactly that - you’re going too fucking slow, asshole! And when people violently pull to the right, pass you, flip you the finger, then pull right back in front of you, that’s a clear sign to move the fuck over so people who wish to do a decent speed can pass you. MORON!
I really try to avoid flashing my lights at people, but sometimes they really need the hint. I will also admit that one time I was the slow fuck in the left hand lane and some guy came up behind me and flashed his lights, but the thing was, I might have been going slower than him, but there were three cars to my right - it was physically impossible for me to get out of his way (and I really do get out of people’s way if they want to pass me - I live by my own rules). I was sore tempted to slow down so I could pull over, but instead I went a bit faster and pulled over as soon as I was able to. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of flipping him the bird, and he proceeded to tailgate me, slowing down and speeding up to annoy me, for a few miles until I got off the highway. He was in such a hurry to get past me, until he decided he wanted to fuck with me. Whatever. :rolleyes:
Funny thing is, I hate it and get very uncomfortable when other people are driving and they do this kind of crap with slower drivers.
I will also admit that I do not yell at people when they have to do things unavoidably - pulling into my lane when the merge lane ends, or they can’t pull over because there are cars in the right lane. But when they’re acting willfully stupid when they have options, I don’t give a fuck. Ignorance should not be rewarded.
What is this supposed to mean? Is this some rib at a poster and/or troll? I’ve seen this posted before in other lists, by you tiggeril or someone else, can’t remember which.
