Hey! Eight slices to a fucking pizza, please!

Ah, a 2010s-style “pizza ray”.

I always order mine square cut. I find little rectangles much more manageable than wedges.

Why do you hate America?

In Soviet Russia, pizza slice you!

Not only that – my favorite pieces are the teeny tiny corner pieces.

I also can’t stand Chicago-style crusts. The thought of stuffing a two-inch thick doughy pizza crust in my mouth makes me queasy. Frankly, I prefer my pizza crust to be as cracker-like as possible – the thinner and the crispier, the better.