I join the smack upside the head brigade (but with affection, of course).
Do get a lawyer, do follow through with the VA, and DO NOT SKIMP ON THE MEDS.
Bright blessings.
All that and more. I know you got no idea who I am but I’ve been reading your posts for years. And I want to read them for years to come. OK?
Hang in there, Quasi and D. You don’t know me, but I read your posts and often agree, or share the same loves in music, whatever. I really enjoy your enthusiasm for things. I hope you can find your way through your troubles with love and support from those close to you, and both of you know that those who aren’t so close still send good thought your way. Merry Christmas.
I’m sure you don’t know me from the next guy but I like reading your posts and you seem like a really good person, so take care of yourself and stick around as long as you can. We need every warm body available to man the barricades against ignorance and jerkishness!
Reading about what you’re going through, I can’t imagine how hard it must be, but if it helps any I want you to know that an almost perfect stranger is out there rooting for you. I’d be willing to bet I’m not the only one. I wish you nothing but the best.
If the VA can supply your medications the co-pay (If they charge one) is $8. Not all medications the VA will supply. Though the only one they couldn’t get for my dad were the lidocaine patches.
Someone 'splain this bit slowly… how the FUCK does one get better from Alzheimer’s? (Or any other form of dementia) You know, “better” enough to hold a job, not “better” enough to keep on moving. They’re different things.
Hie thee to the VA as soon as feasible, hit SS with the legal equivalent of a half-brick-inna-sock as soon as you can. And best wishes!
Nava, SS generally denies every claim it is presented with, initially. There are exceptions, so I hear, but no one I’ve ever met has actually been one of them.
My head’s been “smacked” so many times in this thread, I think me and jayjay oughtta form a club!:smack::smack::smack:
So what we’re gonna do, is follow the VA line and let y’all know how that works out for for us - in hopes it will help someone else.
I feel I also ought to let y’all know that I have offered a divorce to D.
She has refused it.
Even though I am totally useless to her.
Thanks
Q
From me, you get a hug… then a smack. Take your meds as ordered! You are important to a lot of people. You still have stuff to do here, don’t cop out!
Quasi my man. One more smack to the head from here! I’m picturing me as the Skipper and you as Gilligan.
Hmmm, maybe we should stop. Given his condition. On the other hand, maybe his skull is like one of those old tube TVs. Sometimes a good whack on the side made the picture better. 
Sounds like you’re getting good advice upthread, so I’ll just leave you with good thoughts for you and the lovely D, wishing you and yours a Merry Christmas and high hopes for 2010 to work out much better than this year has. You know we love you and we need you around here for a long time yet. Death comes too soon as it is, no need to hurry things along. Take your meds, penetrate the bureaucracy, get the help and support you deserve! You’ve paid into these systems for decades. Now you get a little payback. Nothing to be ashamed of.
Someone should explain to them that it’s actually cheaper to accept some on first try. Forget about it being against their theoretical mandate, it’s bad economics. Reminds me of those companies with the real high employee turnarounds who nonetheless think their HR costs are lower than those of companies which don’t have half the employees in training at any given time.
Quasi, if D had wanted to be divorced from you, she would have stayed divorced from you. You, sir, are silly.
[borderline wingnuttery]
OTOH, by refusing all claims initially, they keep the workload up with all the appeals. Which justifies more civil service jobs, and allows the bureaucracy to keep expanding.
[/borderline wingnuttery]
Ah, job security! Of course! Sorry, I forgot about that huge value of highly-bureaucratic entities. My humblest and grovel-most-est apologies. It’s my worst defect as a consultant, too: I keep trying to solve the problems instead of trying to pad the hours. Horrible, I’m just horrible…
Way back when I had my first cardiac thingy, I did the same thing for pretty much the same reason. Her Ladyship said “Shut up. You’re useless when I tell you you’re useless and not a moment sooner.” We went through about the same thing after my stroke 12-13 years back. Just do what I do these days Quasi - thank God He gave us good partners. And say “Yes dear”.
QUASI! COBRA got extended!
For more details on the COBRA subsidy, contact your plan or go to the Department of Labor’s Web site at www.dol.gov/COBRA. You can also call the Employee Benefits Security Administration toll-free at 866-444-3272.
Re: Offering the divorce to D
It’s not about being useful, Quasi. It’s about being loved. She wouldn’t have remarried you if she’d planned on cutting and running the minute something really bad happened. Accept her love and love her back. A person who’ll make the commitment she did knowing what she knew is someone who’s not going to drop you when things start to look unpleasant.
Great news for you about COBRA, as E-Sabbath wrote. It’ll give you a breather and a chance to get your other plans working.
What everyone else wrote, with extra smacks.
If you are lucky D is with you, she’s lucky to have you since she loves you, you Dummkopf!! Be good to her, she sounds like a keeper.
Again, QFT! For years, I was un-useful to my darling husband, due to chronic kidney problems. In fact, I often joked that if he’d known what he was getting himself into when he said “In sickness and in health”, he would have bolted then!
I was reasonably healthy when we married. Oh, I’d had a few stones since we’d been together, but nothing serious. But it got oh-so-much-worse up til they finally removed the right kidney this past September. There were days I couldn’t even get out of bed. Sometimes hospital admissions. Sometimes I’d have to wake him in the middle of the night and beg him to get my “my drugs” (and he knew what I meant by that!). Times I’d have to wake him in the middle of the night and beg him to take me to the ER to get IV morphine. Times I was admitted to the hospital, and they didn’t know if I would live or die.
Useful? Uh, no. Not me.
But loved? Yeah. He loved me enough to stay, enough to step up to the plate. Seeing as how my hubby is healthy as the proverbial horse, I can say nothing of how I would react if the shoe was on the other foot. But I’d like to believe I’d step up in the same way.
Quasi, this is how D loves you. She loves you enough to stay, enough to step up to the plate.
Cherish that. It’s worth more than anything money can buy.
Quasi, while you’re wading through SS appeals and COBRA extensions and VA eligibility, you might want to visit NeedyMeds and put in the applications for free supplies of your medications. Even if you do get into the VA quickly, if your patient assistance program applications are accepted by the makers of your drugs, it will give you a buffer and perhaps save you a bit of money in the long run.
I’ll continue to hold you in my thoughts.
[I hope linking to the site is okay by the mods, I’m not affiliated and there’s no cost involved, all it does is help people more easily find out how to apply for the programs related to their prescriptions or ailments.]
i was wondering why you got quiet all of a sudden …
Id thwack you too, but I know what cumulative head injuries can do, and you need all the brain cells you gots … 
so, a gentle poke from me to take your meds, try and extend COBRA, and get the legal dogs on the loose…