I’d like to bust this myth. I have incredibly weak finger nails. They break, split, crack, and generally are painful on a normal day. Also, they break so far down they are useless for scratching, peeling, opening, etc.
The only way I can function as a semi-normal human is to have fake nails.
Other than that? I recall the night we were driving home from an NA meeting, my newborn preemie daughter that I was breastfeeding was in the back seat. I had been detoxing my husband at home, breastfeeding my child, taking him to NA every night, trying to save our house and family. He is 6’3", about 270lbs. He looks over at me and says “I never had any idea how much stronger you are than me.”
It ain’t just the physical crap, my lovely collective cupcakes. The phrase “steel magnolia” may be a throw away joke phrase, but there is more truth to it than most folks care to realize.
When I am PMSing I am the exact embodiment of every stupid fucked up insulting stereotype there is about women PMSing. I feel shame because of that. I am not rational, I alternate between rage and tears, there is so much physical and emotional pain that I begin to think impulsively self-destructive thoughts. My husband is very loving and supportive, but even he can’t help the occasional ‘‘You’re crazy!’’ I don’t really consider myself high maintenance. I consider myself to have serious hormonal issues which are the direct result of being a woman. I can do the same things anyone else does, I can ‘‘keep up with the men.’’ I just do it while suffering. I am never going to give birth to a child because the idea of this body subject to more ravaging hormones is absolutely terrifying. No woman in my family has ever had a baby without it irrevocably messing them up mentally and physically. My mother, my mother’s mother and her mother before that all had endometriosis, tumors and ultimately hysterectomies.
However, I can shower and put on makeup in 15 minutes so it all evens out. :):rolleyes:
It’s more than just YOUR family. Now, my wife had twins, so that raises the stakes a little, but they really DID take a toll on her body, and not just in cosmetic ways.
While she was pregnant, we install the A/C in the house in the winter (to save money by installing it in the off season). That was the 65 degree year. From March or so, all the way through til December, that A/C kept the house tolerable for a person that had two blast furnaces growing within…meant I FROZE my ASS OFF!
Post partum depression was a bitch, so was the hyperthyroidisom. Luckily THAT went away when the kids were born.
Aw, thanks! I’ll let you in on a secret about pregnancy, though: it feels like having a really slow superpower. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a fairly easy pregnancy so far, and I’ve dealt with gestational diabetes, crazy nose bleeds, back pain, leg cramps, bleeding gums, sore hips, and mood swings (and no beer for 9 months!). But it’s still pretty awesome, being able to grow another person.
Sure, I get that, but it’s not as if the option isn’t there. To me, complaining about the hassle of periods is no different from complaining about wearing heels - if you don’t want to deal with it, then don’t. There’s no reason why a woman needs to deal with any of the stuff in the OP, either the fashion nonsense or the biological crap.
It’s nice for a guy to acknowledge this stuff. It’s been my experience that even being asked to pick up some tampons will send many men into an ewww… reaction. Not just my husband, but most guys I know.
A few times a year I get cramps so bad that it’s very difficult to go to work. All I want to do is curl up in my PJ’s with a heating pad, some Motrin, and a good book. This lasts for two days, then it gets better. The week before I’m often angry and grumpy, my feelings get hurt easily, or I feel sad. During an extra-special-fun month I (and my family) deal with all of those symptoms.
Since this happens every month and there’s nothing a guy can really do about it, it’s easy to see it as no big deal. Most of the time it’s not, but during those very painful days it sure does suck.
You guys (and gals) haven’t even gotten to the really fun part about being a woman – menopause! You get all the previous stuff except the periods (although one of the joys of menopause is that for several years you still have them, you just never know when, for how long, or whether there’s any menstrual supplies in the universe that can cope with how heavy they can be), and added to that you have the delightful addition of:
insane mood swings
hot flashes from hell (I once had that lasted for eight hours)
night sweats
frozen hands and feet even when it’s 95° out
the reappearance of zits – I’ve used more zit medicine post-menopause than I did when I was a teenager – coupled with skin so dry it can soak up pure grease and still be dry again 5 minutes later
And on and on. Yeah, being a female is just delightful sometimes. :rolleyes:
But it’s sure nice to have men who will put up with it because some of it is hard enough for us to cope with, let alone someone who doesn’t experience any of it himself.
My brother and I were teenagers when mom went through menopause. Poor thing, not only was she dealing with hormones, but also had the joy of 16 and 17 year old sarcastic brats. I later realized why she would be so angry or sad at times.
Really? You think we all get to choose to opt-out, huh? Some of us have tried everything short of carving the fucking thing out with a spoon. I’m glad it was so easy for you but don’t assume we’re all so lucky.
Seriously. And isn’t that part of the point? “Oh, you can opt out of some of those problems… by artificially changing your hormones.” It’s just THAT SIMPLE! :rolleyes:
Plus, while my pill has made my periods lighter, I still get a lot of other symptoms (exhaustion, water weight gain, bitchiness that I have to rein in, an aching lower back, etc.). Plus, you have to deal with the possibility of pretty nasty side effects*.
And while I’m sure NinjaChick looks great with a shaved head… I really don’t think it’s out of line to think most women aren’t gonna want to do that.
What’s the problem with the OP coming in and doing a cute little “Hey, thanks ladies!” because he saw what his wife went through and knew he probably couldn’t deal with it nearly as well? It was a cute little post acknowledging what some female-specific issues are. Why do people have to charge in and say how THEY don’t have to deal with it so REALLY blahblahblahblah?
If I hadn’t trusted my current doctor and his reason I reacted so bad to the Nuvaring, I would have never ever ever ever EVER have tried any birth control again. Had the Nuvaring in less than a week and became literally suicidally depressed, had heart-racing panic attacks, couldn’t eat or sleep, and more.
Well because I’ve been told my whole life that I am weak, emotionally unstable, irrational, prone to unspeakable physical phenomena, dangerously fertile, menacing approaching infertility, awash in hormones, unreliable, vain, menaced by things like “baby fits” and " biological clocks", unstable, unsteady and just generally abnormal.
In other words, kind of like a man but with the life-altering defect of having a uterus. As if womanhood itself is a tragic illness.
Just pisses me off. I’m an adult and perfectly able to handle my life. If someone is high maintenance they are high maintenance. It has shit all to do with the plumbing.
While I don’t deal with the fashion aspect of the OP, the biological aspect gets me. See, I’m one of the ladies that developed a blood clot while on birth control - so, no birth control for me. Now, not only do I get to deal with the cramping, the heavy periods, the maniacal mood swings, bloating, and zits, I also got to deal with the effin’ weight gain. Yes, weight gain. I lost weight on birth control and gained it back when I went off. I exercise and watch my eating habits…
And now I’m reading that I may have to still deal with adult acne after menopause? Damn, that’s a depressing thought.
I thank the OP for the kind words. I thank my husband for being sweet and understanding. I also want to thank the menfolk who take the same kind of care of their womenfolk.
You know what gets really fun? PMS moodiness on top of a mental illness. PMS + depression = Jayn being a nervous wreck one week a month. Thank God for Wellbutrin–I have no idea how I managed to deal with that hell for 5 or 6 years before diagnosis.
