I am entirely fed up with my uterus. I am going to have that bitch yankedaASAP. Goddammitt I spent the whole of Thursday night tending to blood flow, changing underwear, changing sheets, changing the comforter, finding all the fucking bloodspots on the fucking floor before someone or somecat tracked it around. About 5am I finally got a few hours rest. I had to stuff all the linens in the washer, set to cold, before I went in to work late.
This bitch has given me nothing but trouble for thirty-eight mother-fucking dick-sucking son-of-a pox-riddled billygoat fart stinking gut-wrenching spiked-bowling-ball-on-a-trampoline-in-my-pelvis, tedious, unrelenting, fucking-twist-me-sidewaysaYEARS.
The only good thing was my daughter. And the sex was pretty good.
To continue, I had TSS in the 70s. Every month when I thought I could make it through the day at school, by 3rd hour I was in the bathroom, trying to decide which orifice needed the porcelain next. Several times someone brought the school nurse because I was huddled in the corner in early shock.
The 80s brought cycles of anovulation with periods of 2 days to 40 days.
The 90s brought finding out I’m semi-bicornate, pregnancy with morning sickness the entire time, early rupture of membranes so I had to go to the closest podunk hospital (where my OB doctor was not on call, and all our plans for delivery went for naught) and be induced with massive doses of pitocin without any pain relief because of the Nazi doctor. Not to mention the episiotomy and my then-husband who told all my friends that I didn’t want visitors the entire week we were in the hospital.
The oughts brought more regular periods but 7-8 days long every 24 days.
The teens are bringing peri-menopause with irregular heavy times and I am sick to death of this crap. I have an appointment in two weeks and this bitch is gone if I have to get out my crochet hooks and call a tow truck.