Dr. Phil wannabe checking in here…
Perhaps a good way to head this off at the pass is to (assuming you don’t already) just acknowledge what he has said. Perhaps something along the lines of:
(bolding my addition)
I know that some men (myself included) sometimes feel as if what we say has not been heard if it isn’t acknowledged in some way. Mars. Venus. yaddah-yaddah-yaddah. It may not work, but if you try it, let me know if it helps.
I think my brain just exploded.
Where does all this fucking DUST come from!? NOBODY else has the amount of dust in their place that I have. I even try to dust, just because it’s so bad, but it’s RIDICULOUSLY thick. What’s going on? Where does it COME from? Is it the cat? My friends have two cats and their place is NEVER as dusty as mine - and they even say that they don’t dust! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Oh have I got a spouse-is-lucky-he’s-alive story. Mine doesn’t listen. At all. Never. He says he does but he doesn’t. Here’s proof:
We’re watching TV and horrible laptop commerical, the one where eyes appear on body parts where they don’t belong.
Me: Gah! I hate these commericals. They’re creepy.
Hubby: Yeah, they are.
Me: There’s one where eyes appear on fingertips and a palm. It reminds me of that creepy Stephen King short story.
Hubby: Yeah. Have you ever read that book of Stephen King short stories? There’s one where an astronaut grows an eye in the palm of his hand.
Me: DIE HUSBAND, DIE!!!
Nah, I just looked flabbergasted and said, “You really don’t listen to me at all, do you?”
thanks, but, he seems to need the “mission accomplished” banner type of sign.
people who own cats don’t ** need** to dust - they own cats (aka dust magnets).
Easiest way to think of it is to think of null as being an unknown value. You can’t ascertain equality of an unknown value, all you can do is state that it is unknown.
For example, let’s say you have 2 containers filled with beads. You don’t know how many beads are in each container. The only thing you can say about them is that the quantity in them unknown. You can’t declare one one container of unknown contents equal to another container of unknown contents, but neither can you factually declare them inequal as well. You also can’t factually determine if they are equal to a known quantity.
I’d say your DB system is pretty smart…you’re just not asking it to do what you think you are. 
The problem is not thinking at all, because like I stated I know how it operates. But I swear I am going to write an overloaded boolean function for an object some day and sneak it into their code that will return false where it should be true and true for false.
Damn you, campus email. I realize that not only my server is being problematic, so only a few hundred of us can’t access our email, but do you think you could step up the pace slightly? A week without email is just ridiculous.
Dear Co-workers,
If we have one more day of listening exclusively to dance/trance music off one of your iPods, I’m going to snap. Sure, because you’ve got the only speakers in the room it does mean that you have control of the music source, but it would be nice to just have something else to listen to. Anything else. There’s a radio in reception. Let’s see if we can borrow that so we can listen to something that has actual lyrics and a tune. Hell, I’ll even listen to Avril if necessary.
Also - FUCK Excel and the pivot table it rode in on.
This was you, wasn’t it?
Re: dance/trance music: would it kill you to have at least one verse? Actually, having one and only one verse tends to give the song a sort of epic feel to it and makes a song infinitely more tolerable even in a 9 minute track: BT uses that technique once or twice to great effect.
I’m really irritated that all of the candy bars in the vending machines at work are now king-sized. I don’t want a $1.25 Snickers bar the size of a brick. I want the old 50-cent, reasonably sized Snickers bar.
And co-op student, if you’re going to mis-match the network speed settings on the bench in the lab in order to test something, please restore the proper settings when you’re finished, so that I don’t walk up and have a panic attack because the video performance looks like crap with my newest build.
And to HoosierDaddy, please understand that conversation is an exchange. The occasional interjection need not be construed as interruption. Please do try to pause at least once in a while, and at least occasionally share the floor so that if I have anything to add, I don’t forget it by having to wait until the end of your 20 minute monologue. Because it’s my turn to hog the podium, Dammit!
Yeah, just spray 'em with lemon-scented Pledge and release a small scurrying creature into the living room. Or a bird, if you’d like high shelves dusted too. Problem solved. 
For the dust buffaloes on the floor, all you need is a baby in fleece pajamas crawling around down there.
Are you people crazy? My dustbunnies are rabid! I don’t want them injuring a baby or a cat!
We have a Gold Medalist.
This sounds like a job for…
Swiffer Sleepers!
My dust bunnies are made from real bunny fur. Classy!
Look, people (especially you in the little goldish car in between 4th and 5th on G street in Front of Darwin’s Theory on Wednesday afternoon the 12th), this is a FREIGHT ZONE! It is not a pull in and buy pizza from Uncle Joe’s Pizza zone. It is not a "ooooh, let’s stop and look at the overpriced (tourist priced) glass sparklies in the tourist traps along G street parking zone. That’s why there are 19,000 tourist shuttles/Trollies located downtown. Take one of those, believe me they go to every fur shop, native arts spot and cheap tourist dive in the entire downtown area.
It’s for those of us who have to carry HEAVY THINGS in or out of the businesses nearby. Or even, just as legitimately, those who have to pick up or deliver documents from businesses nearby.
You know, working folks whose time is limited.
Further, the damn freight zone is normally big enough for two fairly good sized pick up trucks (or one UPS sized truck) to park, so if you simply MUST park there, do NOT park your stupid little import smack dab in the middle of the space.
And when someone who has freight comes up behind you, asks you to move so that they can actually use the spot for its intended purpose and tells you “This is a freight zone” don’t be an IDIOT and whine “I’m not stoopid you know”.
Unfortunately I didn’t hear your silly whine, my coworker did and laughed about it to me after you’d already gone. I guess it’s fortunate for you, because HAD I heard you say that, I would have told you exactly what I’m saying here.
Anyway, I wasn’t telling you that because I believe you didn’t honestly know, I was telling you that because you were IN THE WAY of people who had a legitimate need for the space. It was an attempt at nicely telling you to move completely OUT of the spot, not just move your car forward.
City ordinance requires that, in order to use frt. zones, your vehicle must have business signs on both sides of the vehicle (NO a little handwritten 8.5 X 11 in the windshield doesn’t count, not that she had one of those either) and that you use your flashers and that actual “loading or unloading” be taking place. Loading or unloading isn’t the term used to describe what happens when you heft yourself up and out of the teeny car.
None of these requirements existed in your case. You and your mom parked and walked across the street to look at the pretty sparklies in the window of a glass shop (don’t bother the woman charges upwards of $2000 for a vase). Meanwhile my coworkers and I are unloading gear and another freight truck is waiting in the lane wondering WTF? when he can’t get in the space behind me and unload HIS stuff.
And yes, we all know you’re not legit when you’ve got a little compact that’s unmarked, not flashing and we see you walk into the pizza place or to one of the tourist traps. And yes, we WILL call the parking cops if we see it and have time (btw, their office is just around the corner), and they will ticket unmarked non-legit vehicles.