I’ve noticed a disturbing trend among women that must come to an immediate end. For reasons unbeknownst, legions of women are engaged in a most harmful practice which is endangering the capitalistic bedrock upon which our nation was built. The results of this practice are far-reaching, indeed, and include the loss of workplace productivity, increased bureaucracy, and a tidal surge of consumer malevolence. The inevitable goal of these women is quite clearly the Total Corruption of American Society.
I am referring to the bottom of the evolutionary ladder: women who feel the overwhelming compunction to pay for absolutely everything, no matter how cheap it is, with a slowly-dug-out-of-bottomless-purse-painfully-slowly-written-check, completely oblivious to the long line of agitated consumers behind them. Adding insult to injury, after writing that check for the important amount of $1.34, they proceed to stand there and record the whole sordid affair in the back of their checkbook, like some retarded court clerk, on the slight possibility that they may forget about that $1.34, thereby plummeting their personal finances into complete and utter chaos. Bartering sheep and cattle is quicker!
Cease and desist, ladies! Keep that checkbook at home in your trailer where it belongs! And, oh yeah, get rid of those “cute” checks with the stupid pictures of cats all over them. I ask you this in the name of all that is moral and good.
I am the fastest check-writing woman that ever lived. However, I always forget that register entry, because I’m racing so as not to piss off the men in the line. Then I spend 2 hours looking for the entry at the end of the month. AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT! From now on, YOU can balance my checkbook!
I don’t think this is limited entirely to women. I was behind a guy at the grocery store the other day doing the same moronic thing. Of course, he may have been a transsexual, I don’t know.
You can take this a step further too, if you want. I’d like to kick the stuffing out of anyone who stands there watching the merchandise being rung up a purchase and then appears surprised when the clerk says, “That’ll be $xx.xx.” Then and only then do these bottom-feeders reach for the wallet or purse. Dammit, git yer cash out and git ready to fork it over; there ain’t nuthin’ that’s free. Bastards.
“There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.”
~P.J. O’Rourke~
Duplicate checks saved my marriage. They have the added benefit of thereby relieving you from having to write the details in the check register then and there. I highly recommend them.
Girl: No problemo! I’ll start today, just email me your checking account information!
Unc: He was most certainly a she. Don’t let the clothes and bushy mustache fool you again!
The other ones I regularly want to beat about the face are the cheap mo-fo’s who stand there like a helpless child while the clerk does what they didn’t have the foresight or brain cells to do: add. Then, when up against the mind-boggling total of $23.82 they stare down into their wallet where a meager $20 resides and start braying like a lost sheep.
Mel: Dups are great and all, but some of you out there are missing the point. Keep the damn checkbook at home! Don’t make me come over there and nail it to your kitchen table - because I will, you know!
Sake - I have to thank you. You have very effectively put into words the one thing that truly just gets me into a lather when I go shopping. There are lots of other things too, but that’s one of my BIGGEST gripes.
That, and using your fucking credit card to buy - oh say - beer! It’s $12.15 with tax bonehead - you need VISA for THIS??? And they are usually the idiots who end up getting turned down by the credit card, thereby drawing my already lengthening errand out anOTHER 15 minutes.
Gotta run, but hell yes I’m gonna stop at the store on the way home and kick some ass!
Where do you guys live? Assboink, Ohio? I’ve never seen anyone pay for anything in a grocery store with a cheque. I don’t even think stores accept cheques anymore. I though that sort of thing only happens in stories that were written in the 70’s.
Now you listen here, hoser! I’m not going to let some little fruit from the Great White North hijack this thread, eh. Now piss off and go back to eating that crusty baguette you bought with your interac. I looked it up and it’s french for common bartering system primarily used by the homosexual community in most french shipping ports.
As a matter of fact, I do live in Assboink, Ohio. Well, Toledo anyway. Sometimes us hicks even trade chickens and corn for products. What the heck is “interac?”
“There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.”
~P.J. O’Rourke~
Okay, it is a very crowded check-out area and there is one checker working. A long line forms. Obviously, the person closest to the current checker has been there the longest. A new checker begins work. Who gets to check out first? The lucky person who just freaking got in line—the last person in the damn line gets to check out first–it makes me want to kill as I am usually the person next in line for the first checker–and the person who is ahead of me is guilty of each and every one of the damn crimes against humanity documented in this thread.
Now I feel better but I still have to go shopping tonight. I will not feel better for long.
Lion won’t let me play with checks anymore, or plastic either. He makes me use cash, and I always have to add as I shop, it’s a bad habit I know I am ashamed
::I feel so dirty confessing that!::
Ayesha - Lioness
There are two solutions to every problem : the wrong one, and mine
(Thomas A. Edison)
Sorry – I don’t carry cash. Well, maybe a buck or two for the pop machine at work, but that comes out of hubby’s wallet.
Sorry if you get stuck behind me at the grocery store, but I’m not the problem. I’ve written my check and signed it while waiting for the checker, except for the exact amount – takes about 2 seconds to fill it in.
If I was gonna pay cash, you’d bitch about having to wait behind me at the bank or the ATM machine while I got the cash.
But you won’t get stuck line behind me at the bank or the ATM machine either, cuz my paycheck is electronically deposited, and all my bills are on auto-pay.
Can’t believe my check writing at the grocery store causes so much irritation. Sheesh. Can’t win.
Hey, Sake…guys are guilty of this too, the only difference is: they have ONE CHECK folded and stowed somewhere on their person because that’s all their wife would let them have.
My big beef (and this happens at almost every kind of store) is when something doesn’t ring up on sale. “Hold it! That should be a dollar off.” and then, oh god NO, they flip the light to “blink so maybe the harried overworked manager will see it.” Groan. If you don’t want to pay the extra dollar have them take it off and get it another time! Don’t make them send somebody all the way to the other side of the store and see what the damn display says. Unless it’s insulin or tampons, I don’t believe you need to have it right away! Is it worth making 20 people wait so your little brat can have another pair of pink frilly tights or whatever?
If you don’t have time to wait your turn like a grown-up while others conduct their business, Sake Samurai, you should leave your house earlier and give your self more time at the store.
Although, not taking the checkbook out, etc… until the total has been rung up is obnoxious.
vogue: Yeah, I was just recently buying a headlight for my car and the guy in front of me was actually using profanity directed at the poor clerk. The atrocity that provoked this man to such insane levels of anger was the fact that the store was out of the small halogen replacement bulbs they were advertising in the paper on sale for $6. It had pushed this man over the edge. “HOW COULD YOU NOT HAVE THE FUCKING THING YOU’VE GOT ADVERTISED IN THE PAPER, HUH??” I could not hold back. I calmly said, “You need to shut up right now and show some respect to her.” He looked up to me like I spoke Greek, pretended I didn’t say anything (I doubt it really registered) and scurried out of the store, muttering. The clerk thanked me. It really angers me when no one says anything to these creeps. The clerk can’t say anything or she runs the risk of being fired. It’s civic duty!
Uliginous: Written like a true comrade!
Krispy: This coming from someone who recently opened a whole thread complaining and whining on and on about how David Bloomberg is a very mean man and is unfairly out-debating you!
If I am wound tightly, you’re a goddamned thermonuclear warhead.
