The holiday shopping season is coming. Retailers really need to open up a few “Cash Only (and we MEAN it)” lanes. I’m sick of waiting on incompetent card swiping, PIN entering, check writing, clueless food-stamp using time wasters.
People trying to use the cash only lane with some other method of payment shall be sent to the end of the longest check-out line in the store.
I find credit & debit card transactions usually faster as long as the debit card users dont want cash back. But cash is reasonably fast so I see no need to isolate them. Check writers are now technologically barred as their check is turned into a electronic debit, it still takes some extra time, but not as long as when they had to hand write them
What about the little old ladies who rustle endlessly through their overstuffed coin purses, looking for exact change? Way slower than me who can swipe (or tap) my debit card and be on my way ASAP.
There are two major problems with cash-only lanes;
You can put a 20’ tall neon sign with flaming letters that says “CASH ONLY”, and I bet you dollars to donuts at least 1/4 of the people in that line will try to pay with their debit cards, and management will say to just let them because it’s easier than fighting with them and making them get in a different line.
I’ve seen “cash, debit, or credit” lines, which is just a more positive way of saying, “no motherfucking cheques”. But those lanes still have the machines they use to scan cheques for the cashier to use when whoever comes up with a cheque. It seems like simply by removing that machine, they could say “sorry, nothing I can do” to the people who can’t read.
The problem is not debit/credit card. It’s debit/credit card people who wait until their entire cart has been rung up before they even start looking for their card. Ideally, you not only have your card in hand, you swipe the card while the clerk is still scanning things and have it back in your wallet and purse before he’s hit "total’. Faster than cash.
Really, it sounds like what y’all are looking for is a “No assholes” lane.
Good luck with that.
Generalizing, of course, but I’ve noticed that’s mostly a woman thing. Everything has been totaled and then they start digging through their purse.
I really, really want to take offense at this comment, because I (a woman) *always *have my store loyalty card ready to hand to the clerk, and as soon as she starts ringing up my items, I swipe my debit card, put in my PIN and am ready to hit “YES” when the total pops up. Every single time.
My mother, however…just stands there, chatting with the clerk, completely oblivious to what she should be doing.
I mean, she really doesn’t get it. She had foot surgery a few weeks ago, and was unable to drive, so I took her to the store a couple of times. As she stood there, doing nothing, I nudged her and said, “Get your card out and swipe it.” She replied, “But she’s not done!” She thought she couldn’t swipe till the clerk totaled her up.
Part of it is that she’s 82, and thinks everyone has all the time in the world, just like she does.
Oh, I think you’re wrong.
I think that at least 3/4 of the people in line would try to pay with a card, or even with a check.
Internet mail order.
Problem solved.
I’d rather see a “Yes, I know how to use self-check out in a fast and efficient manner” and a “No, I’ll probably need a cashier to figure out all this complicated technology but still want to do it myself” lines.
A while back I was at the local megamart with some friends picking out some stuff for dinner. I got in the self-checkout lane and they looked at me funny and said they always have trouble with these things.
Let me stop here and let you know that we’re all (at the time) 30 years old, have laptops/smartphones/plasma TV’s etc. We have no issues with technology. Also, they’re from out of town and haven’t been to this store.
Anyway. I said ‘yeah, I had issues when they first started installing them around town a few years ago, but they work fine now’ and I started scanning my stuff. I told them to put their few items on with my things so we could get out sooner.
One of their items included a soda that my friend grabbed while we were in line…which he drank half of…which means it didn’t weigh enough…so the cashier had to be called over to ok it. :smack: Well, no wonder you have problems with these things. Do you want to try balling up your dollar bills and jamming them in the coin return too? (I’m sorry, that was harsh, the scale thing took me a few times to figure out, but they had been around for a few years at this point).
I don’t know. I had to teach my husband that he could swipe his card while they were still ringing up the stuff: he’s very logical and likes to do things in sequence: jumping to paying before checking out is done was not natural for him. In general, he (and I don’t think this is unusual for men) also tends to miss any other multi-tasking opportunities to speed up the process, like when it’s a good time to jump in and bag, or how to organize the items on the conveyor in a way that will make bagging and checking out faster. But these are advanced skills.
Solution: get rid of checks. Much of northern Europe has done it and it’s great 
My local supermarket has “card only” lanes now. They have no cash drawer and no way of dealing with cash purchases. I’m starting to like it, because that means nobody digging around in a pile of small coins seeing if they maybe have exact change to pay for a 215 kr order.
It just seems like I always end up behind someone with some sort of issue- the PIN won’t work, the check won’t clear, the credit card’s been maxed out, or they’re trying to buy cigarettes with the food stamps. Little old ladies counting out change are a minor delay compared to the people I get behind.
How about a “Strictly NO coupons this line” line?
Yes, that’s great if you enjoy paying 8 bucks shipping and handling on a 12 buck item. Plus tax.
My favorite Simpsons scene is in the episode where Apu is teaching Marge how to spot the fastest check-out line at the supermarket. It’s the one filled with bachelor men, he tells her, pointing to the line where Barney, Krusty, etc. are standing. “Why?” she asks.
“Cash only! No chit-chat!” he responds.
I can’t tell you how many thousands of times I’ve whispered that quote under my breath – in Apuvoice, of course – while waiting in line behind some old lady who’s talking up a storm with the cashier, or some clueless keypad fumbler.
What we need is an APU LINE: CASH ONLY! NO CHIT-CHAT!.
I forgot another thing about this Internet ordering. It’s also great if you don’t mind waiting 6 or 7 days for the stagecoach that UPS uses to finally arrive.
Of course, you can always spend another 20 or 30 bucks for next day delivery.