Tuba,oh most humble of administrators, how often do you check your “aol” e-mail?
Actually, that’s rhetorical. I don’t care how often you check it, I was just wondering if you got the e-mail I sent you.
Hey, Tuba, the mail is beginning to pile up in the box and there’s a pile of newspapers at the end of the driveway. I’m starting to get worried here. Are you away on vacation? I hear the dog barking inside; are you passed out in a Tequila induced coma?
TubaDiva’s been pretty sick lately with the flu. Is there something I can help you with?
Hey, I sent Tuba a lengthy email yesterday dealing with the Illuminatus Conspiracy, Vedanta Hinduism, and whether Red Mitchell could outplay Curtis Counce on the stand-up bass. All subjects which I know she’s fanatical about. And she said she never got it. Something’s definitely up.
I certainly wish TubaDiva a speedy recovery.
Zev Steinhardt
Sorry for being MIA. The flu is nature’s way of cutting you down to size and I certainly have been greatly brought down the past couple of weeks.
I’m better now but still not 100%, starting to get there and then I sorta sink down for a while. Please bear with me as I pick things back up again. And thanks to all.
your humble TubaDiva
Take it slow and easy, Tuba! ‘Wouldn’t want you to relapse. That ol’ flu hits harder second time 'round.
Tuba, glad to hear you are on the mend. I was just about to hit MPSIMS and round up a search party (wif dem sniffin’ dogs). I’ll give you time to recover before I bug you 'bout my e-mail.
::Starts chopping veggies for a big pot of chicken soup::
Lynne, thank you very much for your willingness to help me out. I would take you up on the offer, but you don’t fit the meter. Sorry, you’re not a trochee.
Dang! Sorry to hear you were illin’, Ms. Diva. I was riddled with that oogy thing earlier…
(I have an e-mail in to you as well, I believe. No hurry!)
[resets hamster-powered Good Vibes Generator Wheel with two hamsters and Missy the chihuahua from next door]
Wow, it’s a kind of synergy or something–are the hamsters chasing the dog, or is the dog chasing the hamsters?
Hard to tell, but go baby go!
Tuba, you ought to be feeling something about now…
I’d better put some grease on that axle before the whole thing melts down.
Um, is it normal for smoke to be coming out? I’ve never installed a chihuahua before…
Poor Tube!
I sent her an e-mail myself, but didn’t expect an answer (especially since I didn’t identify myself). Hope you’re feeling better since you are the bestest ATMB administrator there ever was and it is obvious no one can get along without you.
What part of town do you live in, TubaDiva? I ask, because I woke up with the flu this morning, so I wonder if we’ve been to the same places or eaten the same food.
I’m getting better and disavowing any knowledge of any illness.
your humble TubaDiva
Well, soon as I stop coughing I will.
Tuba, it’s been 5 days. Time to start bugging you about my e-mail. 
Did you receive it?
Hey, Five, EVERYONE knows that TubaDiva lives in Birdland!!
Daa-daa dum. Daa-daa dum. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Da-da-dum-dum. (with Miles Davis timing)
cough
Seems the virus has crossed the Atlantic. Currently, your humble Coldfire is under attack from Evil Flu Germs. Or bacteria? I always get the two confused. And I really don’t care which one it is, I want these invaders out.
Already home from work for two days, and it looks like another one. Grrrr.
Saaaaaaay… Maybe this is a bug that only affects Moderators and Administrators… 
For the record, Coldfire, this being the Straight Dope and all, the flu is caused by a virus, and “germ” is a general catch-all term for vira, bacteria, or any assorted nasties that make you sick. Even more generally, of course, the term “germ” can also be used for any microscopic organism, or for a younger brother.
Yep, all you’re being brought down by is a stretch of genetic information encased in protein. Lacking a life of its own, it makes a host miserable for a while until the defense mechanisms get up to speed and kill it. Kinda like the trolls around here. Hey, neat analogy. A different strain of the same virus: Same troll, different name. Lag time before the immunoresponse kicks the bug’s ass: Time until the troll is sniffed out by our own little police force. Immunity to certain strains of a virus: The memory of the users about which names are used by trolls.
Hope thinking about the Board as a living thing takes your mind off the suffering the flu causes.
Get well soon and relax. If the bug spreads too far, we’ll just get UnclePee to piss out the brushfires.
Hmmm. Could this be the answer, finally, to that mysterious Jack Dean Tyler virus?
Naaaaah.
All I know is that we’ve got to hurry up and finish the testing of the Moderator Mark III. If our calculations are correct, it should be immune to such “human” weaknesses like “illness”.
It should also be able to withstand a Class 3 nuclear blast, and turn a potato into french fries in less than three seconds.