Hey! Where ya goin' Dad? Huh? Where?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
181

I have exciting news to report to the MMP!! Yesterday I saw a woman shot out of a cannon.

Yes. You read right. I witnessed someone being shot from a big cannon-like thing. She flew through the air. She landed in a net.

Being shot out of a cannon is one of those things you always hear about, isn’t it. But have you actually ever SEEN it done? Not me. Maybe I’m just provencial. This Amazing Stephanie comes from the “famous” Smith Human Cannonball Family, as seen on The Tonight Show, The Discovery Channel and various other venues, I was told. Not only a human cannonball, but a FEMALE human cannonball. Contrary to what you might expect, she did not fly out in the traditional CANNONBALL!!! pose adopted by overweight, hairy guys jumping into pools. She flew gracefully throught the air, arms wide.

A human cannonball! Wow! :rolleyes: :stuck_out_tongue:

**Responding to Things Upthread Dept. ** I, too, am waiting patiently for the too-oogy-to-tell goat story. We made it through the goat doing something unmentionable in his beard. We can make it though whatever ooogieness you have, sneezy.

In other news: I’m currently in a quandry about my son’s birthday. He will be 8 on Tuesday. He wants a Stingray bicycle, but has stated that he is saving up to buy one. I’m hoping he’ll never save enough, because while they look cool, they also seem to be extremely heavy, hard to ride and shoddily constructed. I wouldn’t mind getting him a bike, but his old one still “fits.” I would rather wait til next year when he will probably need a new one. And hopefully the Stingray fascination will have ended.

But I’m still left wondering what to get him. You’d think I’d know what my children enjoy, but I’m always stumped. I refuse to buy him anything Gameboy-related (his dad bought him the gameboy, he should keep him supplied). I’ve got until Tuesday.

182

Back off! He’s mine! :smiley:

CD, that was an impressive way to usurp the TMI title from swampy. I think a TMI competition is just what we need at the end of the week. Good luck to all competitors. Give us your best shot!

Speaking of whom, have we settled on a nickname for chaoticdonkey? Are we going with **CD **or donkey? I don’t want to be calling anyone by the wrong name!

183

You want TMI? You should see poor little Mr. Anachi’s groin. You see, right after his surgery the injection sight for the catheter (femoral artery) was still bleeding and a burly man nurse had to put pressure on it for about three hours. I never knew bruising could actually be midnight blue to black. So, here’s the TMI part…you know the expression “blue balls”??? :eek:

Anyhoo, sean, I think any welcome home sex will be delayed more than three, four coupla days. :o Sides, he’s not allowed to lift anything heavier than ten pounds right now. :smiley:

The good news is he got to come home yesterday. The bad news is it took ALL DURN DAY!!! We didn’t get turned loose until about six then got caught briefly in I-4 rush hour traffic. But he’s home, so that’s like Jake!

We go to the cardiologist on Friday morning for follow up and we’ll see what’s to be expected then. He’s doing very well and says to say thanks for the MMP Magic. :slight_smile:

Tupug

184

I have a black-and-brown tabby, and a white and orange. Mostly white. With their combined posers they can get visible cat fur on anything. And the white cat sheds like you wouldn’t believe.

Jazz Festival tonight. I wonder if anyone will mind if I go to work drunk.
Isn’t bellydance gear awesome? It’s pretty and sparkly and makes noise.

185

TMI can simply mean more information than you wanted, right?

So, then, here is the Ferret update:

Flurry is actually growing fur!!! There are even a few bits on her tail! Since she is a DEW (Dark-Eyed White), and her skin is very pink, it isn’t easy to see yet, but I’m very excited.

(For new MMP’ers: Flurry had insulinoma when we got her from my husband’s co-worker, and was almost bald. She had the operation, and some came back, but never on her tail. She had a melatonin inplant about a month ago, and we are waiting for the fur to grow as a result. I guess you had to be there.)

She is lording it over my husband, who has, shall we say, a lot of forehead: “Dad, move over for those of us who are actually growing fur!”

However, Flurry has always been a bit furry in her head. She gets a quarter of a prednisome tablet in the morning for other issues. I crush it and mix it with Ferrevite, which is a vitamin supplement for ferrets that comes in a tube. Ferrets love it. I mix it and give it to her in a little dish.

Flurry usually sleeps in the top sleepsack, which is like a cube with holes that hangs from the top of the large cage. I put the dish on the shelf outside the sleepsack, and she leans over and licks it up, and then gets up for her morning romp.

Well, Tuesday night she decided to camp out, and slept on top of the sleepsack instead of inside. I put the dish in as usually. She looks down at it, and then tries to lean over and lick. She can’t reach down far enough. She pulls back and you could just see her thinking, “Wait a minute, usually I can do this from bed.” She tries again, and fails. She even tries a third time before jumping down to the ledge.

The funny thing was, you could actually watch her thinking, trying to solve the riddle: “I usually do this. I know this works. This isn’t working. Something must be different. Maybe I should try again!”

Oh, my gifted and talented weasels.

186

Ferrets are so cute! I’m glad Flurry is doing better. A hairless ferret would be kinda scary.

I had orange chicken for lunch today, just so’s I could be one of the cool kids! And I was smart enough to not eat any of the little peppers.

Lissla, if you went to work drunk, do you think anyone would even notice? Just tell them you’re in a really, really good mood. The Jazz Festival sounds like fun. I’d go, but I have to go grocery shopping.

187

donkey don’t stop with the TMI. TMI is an important component of the MMP. Also, the neighbors would appreciate if you’d pull your pants up a little more. Apparently the butt crack is scarin’ the dog.

The phones are workin’ again. Dangit! Oh, and today we are having a going away shindig right after work for a co-worker who is leaving. I performed on of my more important job duties a while ago. Gettin’ beer and wine and icing it down. We’re doing the shindig at work but right after work. Actually, he has a whole 'nother week to work, but next week, on Friday, we’re having our annual staff pool party at my house. So, he’ll have a party next week but it won’t be like his party. Just a party party. Next Friday also happens to be my birthday. There’s still plenty of time to shop. Y’all know what I like. :smiley:

Puggy glad to hear Mr. Anachi’s recoupin’ is comin’ right along. I had a heart catherization a couple years ago and I remember the no lifting more than 10 pounds thing. It means, don’t lift anything. Ten pounds is nothing. Course that’s because he doesn’t need to put any strain on that artery while it’s healing. But he knows that. Just glad to hear he’s doing a lot better. YAY!

188

Ooo, I can help! See, “carbs” are obviously big fat poofy things. I mean, come on, look at all the things that have “carbs”: potatoes (big & fat), bread (fat & poofy), GTO (big & greasy…no, wait, sorry. Wrong carb.) So therefore, anything that’s all flat and squashed, like tortillas, cannot possibly contain any “carbs”, because there’s simply no room. The “carbs” have been squished out of them.

On a side note, I think this is only the first or second time I’ve used that nested quoting thing and I’m very pleased with myself that I made it work.

189

The husband explanation thing was the first time I used nested quotes, too. It actually worked. I’m impressed.

“powers”, not “posers”. I don’t understand why I made that typo.
I just got a top and skirt and three books for eleven dollars. At Goodwill. The skirt is very long, broomstick hippie type, and purple. I need to take the waistband in, but I may wear it on Saturday.
I’m sure the Jazz Festival is fun if you’re not working. They shut down my street, set up tons of bands and food stalls, and a couple hundred thousand people show up. Since I have to fight my way home through the people, I don’t enjoy it too much.

Also they come into work and ask if we have a bathroom. Not bad the first twenty times, but it gets annoying, especially followed by, “Do you have this book I read once?”

190

I’m going to the ballet tonight. Woo! Not exactly sure what we’re seeing, but the NYC Ballet comes to Saratoga for the summer which is very cool. We also get the Philadelphia Orchestra during the summer, and that’s jake too.

That’s all I’ve got.

191

…if the co-worker wasn’t leaving, it would just be cruel.

192

oooh, lucky you!
pines

193

Well, my fellow MMPers, an era has passed. The chandelier is on its way to its new home. At this very moment, it’s sitting in the front seat of a green van being driven north by the one, the only, Cartooniverse. He came here to have dinner with us, and while we were giving him the fifty cent tour, my sweetie offered him the chandelier. He thought about it, and thought some more, and as he was getting ready to leave, he decided he had to have it. Photos of the historic transfer of ownership will be posted probably tomorrow.

So I guess I need to come up with a new MMP newbie gift. Ummmmmm, lessee… the concrete deer is gone. The gazing balls are gone. I do still have the giant plastic grasshopper…

:smiley:

194

FCM your have a Giant Plastic Grasshopper and yet it is not on prominent display? WHY!? That’s even better than a chandelier in the laundry room! OK, I say the next newbie gets a Giant Plastic Grasshopper. What way the rest of the MMPers?

Unknowin’ co-worker: “Who’s this going away party for?”
The rest of us: “Didn’t you get that letter from the boss?”
:smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

195

I guess that either is fine. So long as once per thread, someone addresses me as chaoticdonkey, so that it’ll show up in vanity searches.

swampy, my ass crack is probably showing because I’m not wearing any pants. Perhaps I should put pants on.

And I hesitate to post this, because I know a certain bear is going to <snerk> all over it, but:

You can be trusted to keep a secret.

196

Nevermind, taxi78cab, I just realized that you were asking the other MMPers what they wanted to call me. It doesn’t look like you wanted my opinion. :confused:

197

And I meant to say this morning, too, that this swampy/Ashes[sup]2[/sup] thing reminds me of something funny between me and PACUG. When telephoning between each other (as was necessary, as we lived hours apart,) typical dorm noises would sometimes ensue. You know, like "OMG check it out guys I can make noises in the hall w00t!!!1). He assumed that it was people roaming the halls making noise, which he had correct. I had him convinced that we had a lot of hot college kids running the halls naked and yelling. He was hurt when I finally revealed that they weren’t naked, just yelling. Apparently, he thought that such a thing would actually happen, even though I only mentioned that they were naked once.

Ashes[sup]2[/sup], don’t forget the popsicle that he was licking suggestively, with the juice dripping down across his chiseled pecs, and staining his luscious lips.

198

Sorry it took so long to get back to the thread, but that nasty four letter word reared it’s ugly head. (work!)

Ya want ookie? You got it.

Every Christmas, the town of Sand and Jello puts strings of lights and light sculptures everywhere ! We enjoy looking at them, cause it’s free and the kids like it. They usually turn them off at 10:00, but one night, they were still on when I got off work at 2:00 a.m. So we thought, “Hey, one last trip by the lights before bed.”

As we were going down the street, I saw a medium sized animal lying in the street. Oh no, somebody hit a dog right before Christmas, how sad! We got a little closer, and I realized that the “dog” had hooves. We got even closer, and we saw that the goat had been tortured, eyes burned out, cuts on the body, etc.

The topper is, in the local newspaper, the police said that it was just a prank!
Yeah, some prank.

The topper to the topper is a few weeks earlier, some punks set fire to a kitten and threw it onto the owners porch. The public outcry was huge!
So apparently it’s o.k. to torture farm animals, but not cute fluffy kitties. :smack:

199

without going into a vegetarian tirade, I totally agree with you there.

that’s a terrible thing to have to see, especially with your kids :frowning:

200

Yes, you should! Geeze, that WalMart really is getting lax on the dress code these days. You’ll put an eye out that way, young man! Frightened children running everywhere, somebody’s gonna get hurt, I’m warning you!

Also, sorry, but the Ridiculously Gorgeous Grandson has never been spotted with frozen treats of any kind. There was the head tilted back, throat muscles working, six-pack rippling, Drinking a Bottle of Soda Incident last summer, though. Yer welcome.

Puggy, don’t you mean :eek: :eek: ?

My post is comprised of 100% smutty stuff today. Something is wrong with me. Well, more wrong than usual.