Where's this week's MMP?

Normally by the time I start looking for the MMP at this time on a Monday morning, it’s already quite long. But no MMP this morning. Did Rue take today off? What’s Monday morning without a cup of coffee and the MMP??

I think you may have just started it. I do have a cup of coffee, so let the hijacking begin!

Maybe the Easter bunny kidnapped him. Maybe he’s in a jellybean-induced coma. Maybe the Little Woman buried him in Easter grass. Anyone else got some theories?

My mundane theories:

Kids are off from school today (mine are), so no time.
Soupo or Katcha is sick or Rue is sick.

Less mundane:

In a chocolate and glazed ham induced rage Rue went on a random crime spree. Of course he’s not really evil so this was mostly just things like jaywalking, ripping the tags off of mattresses he hadn’t bought, and taking 12 items into the 8 items or less lane. He is currently awaiting arraignment at the Butler County Municipal Corrections facility.

Really off the wall:

A trio of masked women, thought to be perhaps Canadian or from California and the Pacific Northwest, have taken Rue hostage and are using them for their own lurid purposes. It took Mr. DeDay less than 15 minutes to succumb to “Stockholm Syndrome” and he is currently living out one of his kinkier fantasies.

Woo! I started the MMP! Do I get some kind of prize? Leftover Easter chocolate would be fine. Or is the prize withheld since I didn’t have a cool story like Rue does?

I was about to bump last week’s MMP when taxi started this.

I’m thinking it was the Peeps. Perhaps they take over whole personalities and render them inarticulate when they spend too much time in the microwave?

Shibb’s off-the-wall scenario seems perfectly likely to me.

(And this is the one Monday when I can actually post in the morning. I demand a recount!)

GT

Maybe Rue is out running around all over greater Ohio buying up chocolate bunnies for cheap. He’s gonna hoard em til next year and then mail chocolate bunnies to all the MMPers for Easter! Or, maybe he’ll eat em all. Sometimes it’s kinda hard to tell with Rue.

Then again, maybe Rue is the Easter Bunny and he’s taking the day off to rest after all that egg hidin’ stuff he had to do yesterday. Kinda like how Santa always spends two weeks in a drunken stupor in the Bahamas right after Christmas.

Then again, I like Shibb’s random crime spree theory. I can see Rue jaywalkin’ to get to the Piggly Wiggly where he cuts in line in front of a little old lady in the express lane while brazenly telling everyone he’s got 12 items in the 10 items or less lane. Then he jaywalked over to the Mattress Liquidators (cheap mattress store) Store and ripped the tags of a queen and king matress and box springs set and tore the tags up in front of a salesperson while laughing maniacally. Then he went for ice cream.

I think he got attacked by the Easter Bunny and is now laying low, trying to avoid being found.

I can neither confirm nor deny Shibb’s most radical notion.

:: clears throat ::

Or maybe he’s on I-74 South, sitting behind a lot of traffic and eating Graeter’s ice cream :slight_smile:

I-75! I-75!

It is Monday, huh? First day after Spring Break, too. I officially declare myself incompetent! Can I go home now?

There is an I-75 and an I-74 that run through Cincinnati. One of them goes to Indianapolis, the other goes to Detroit. Rue used to live in between them, sort of, but now he is much closer to I-75. Still, it’s plausible that he could be on I-74. Therefore this court finds you not incompetent by reason of sanity, and orders you to stay at work.

(This is the part where I bang me gavel)

I for one welcome our temporarily new MMP starter (overlord). It’s Rue’s own darn fault for not being here. I hope it takes him hours to catch up with the rest of us.

Rue will rue the day…wait a minute. It was all a clever plan on his part! First he goads us into exasperation, and then he cleverly preempts our attempts to threaten him by having co-opted the proper phrase!

Damn that devil! Always one step ahead!

You keep that gavel bangin’ to yourself, mister.

And since swampy isn’t here yet, I’ll just say <snerk>.

Maybe Rue is out looking for me.

I see lightingtool isn’t fully awake either. Swampy checked in on post number 6. Still no sign of Rue. Of course, we may not see many of the regular posters since this thread wasn’t started by Rue himself. No offense intended taxi78cab, but you’re just not Unca Rue. Not that I’d want to be Unca Rue myself. I’m sure that Katcha and Soupo would be very confused if I suddenly showed up proclaiming to be Rue. Heck, I would probably be as confused as they were. Lets just not go there.

-Belz

cough What are you talking about?

Ginger! Amazon! They’re on to us!

I knew I shouldn’t have posted before I had some coffee. Sorry, Mr. swampy.

Well I’m here, well, actually I’m over there, at the beach, on a slow dial-up connection, so I apologize if my voice sounds all drawn out and bassy.

And for the record, I have no idea where Rue is, or with whom, or why, or for how much.

I awoke early, eager to post pithy remarks and sparkling repartee (spelling?). I waited. I went out and bought really cheap Easter candy. I went to the auto club and got a map of NYC, simply because I like to look at maps of large cities. I came home. Still no MMP. I can’t wait forever, you know. So this is it, until further notice. I’ll check in later for our beloved leader Rue and the official MMP. But actually, without appearing disrespectful to the original master, this thread seems to be going quite well. Smashing, in fact.

Carry on.