Ashes[sup]2[/sup] a little 100% all natural smuttiness is good on the odd occasion. It adds a subtle layer of flavor to the MMP, don’t ya think?
donkey if you insist on stalking me nekkid, I suggest you try hiding behind one of the storage buildings in my privacy fenced back yard. Do try to maintain some sense of propriety. 
Please tell me that you’ve kept the pink telephone.
I can’t believe it. Cartooniverse is taking the chandelier? I’m anxiously awaiting the pictures.
Does Ridiculously Gorgeous Grandson™ look like the guy in the Diet Coke ad a few years back? You remember the one: gorgeous construction worker stops for a drink and all the women crowd the office window to watch.
Tell me if I’m bad or not: that guy, whose name was (and still is, I presume) Lucky Vanous put out a workout tape. And I bought it. Did I buy it to do aerobics? To get fit? To motivate me to a more healthful lifestyle? Of course not. ::licks chops::
Well, I’m sorry I asked about the goat, sneezy. Sigh. People can be so horrible.
VunderBob is back! Yeah!
How was the wilds of Michigan? Did you get a wet burrito? Did you get the job? And did you take everyone’s advice on how do look mahvalous in an interview?
As for the MMP Newbie prize, a Giant Plastic Grasshopper is as good as anything, I guess.
I don’t know how much I can play today. I found out that one of the databases we have for off-the-shelf items was corrupted beyond saving, so I have to manually re-enter everything we’ve sold since the beginning of the year. Yuck.
I did look mahvelous for the interview. My pants stayed on; my fly was in the proper closed position, and my crank wasn’t even caught in it.
Didn’t get the wet burrito, 'cuz I didn’t have a rental car to go anywhere. Your ex-inlaws were safe Wednesday night.
As far as the job, I won’t know for a couple of weeks while they do a background check. The fact that they even mentioned that makes me optimistic, since they will find out that I’m one of the most boring, intelligent, and hardworking people on the planet.
Oh, I forgot this: I wore the same suit that I wore to Granny’s funeral. This time, however, I could feel it in my waist that I’ve lost weight, and I didn’t need a belt extender for the Embraer jet like I did last time.
42 lbs in 6 weeks. That’s the equivalent of 2 bags of cat litter.
Of course I wanted your opinion CD, dear. It’s just that I wanted to make sure we have an overall consensus so I was asking other MMPers too.
Yikes that was close. I haven’t even had my first cup of coffee yet and I’m already causing trouble.
Anyway, the ballet was very nice last night. Swan Lake of course, and then some modern thing that I concluded must have been about an oxygen atom and three hydrogen atoms, which sometimes bonded to form water (leaving one of the hydrogens out of course) and sometimes an -OH bond that was looking for the rest of its molecule (but didn’t find it). Then the oxygen went away and someone must have turned on a bunsen burner 'cause the hydrogens started moving really fast. Then they went away and it got real close to absolute zero 'cause the oxygen stopped moving all together. Then I think there was something about aliens.
What’s that? I’ve spent too much time with scienc-y type people and not enough time learning about the arts and stuff? Hunh.
My dad bought one for my son as a present. It’s still too big for him so it’s still sitting in the garage mostly unused. I say mostly because I’ll take it out sometimes and ride it, even though it’s a little small for me. It is just too cool for words. It is indeed heavy and takes a bit of adjustment to ride. But shoddy doesn’t enter the equation.
And youze guyze thought my typos were funny…
I didn’t get to cavort in the MMP yesterday, so I have to make up for it today.
I was very, very, very busy with a tasker yesterday and stayed late to finish it, even. I hate having stuff hanging over my head, so I just work to get it done.
The goat story was awful. We had an incident up here in Washington several years ago where some very sick people tortured a donkey to death. A law was passed called Pasado’s Law (the donkey’s name) which now makes it illegal to torture farm animals as well. On the other hand, we had an incident where some sicko was um…getting busy…with an arabian stallion and died (the guy, not the horse). This, apparently is not illegal. Apparently there was a quite a group of people who did this, and furthermore, they TAPED it! :eek: :eek: Just…ugh!
I hope the job news is good news, Bobbio! It sounds like they’re pretty serious about you if they’re going to go through the trouble of a background check. Also, congrats on the weight loss!
Ellen Cherry, I clicked on the link. All I can is, yum! He’s kinda of a “pretty boy” though. I like my men a little more…rugged looking, like my hubby! Besides, my hubby looks just scrumptious in a pair of Levis button fly jeans, especially his hiney! Okay, that’s just a little more info than I usually give, I’ll stop now.
Well, I need to attend to some issues here at work. Hopefully, I can pop back in later.
oh, it sounds so wonderful!
pines some more
as god is my witness, they’re not gonna lick me! I’m going to live through this and when I’ve reached their arbitrary weight, I will dance again! Yes, I will be back on the stage soon enough! If I have to eat peanut butter, avocados, granola, or lots of sugary cookies and cakes. As God is my witness, I WILL DANCE AGAIN!
okay enough self-pity and whining (disguised as determination and fractured movie quotes) for the day.
I keep getting e-mails about a meeting entitled “Employee Relations”, and every time I see it, I just have to <snerk>. 
I just had to share it with someone.
I just looked in the mirror while naked, and it appears that I have collarbones. I’d never noticed them before. I think that maybe they didn’t show up with all of the covering that was over them before. That, and I have really big… whatever that muscle is that comes from your throat to your clavicle. You know, it makes a triangle?
I doubt that I’m describing it well, but you get the picture, right?
On the registers at work, to get into the manager mode, you have to type in your user ID#, then your passnumber (not password.) Most of the managers have a 2-digit code, including the store manager, and I know of one manager who has a 4-digit one. When changing my password from the default 0 this morning (really secure) to something else, I wanted 10 digits. I was going to use one of the UPCs that I’ve memorized from work (I’m memorizing UPCs for cases of drinks so that I don’t have to lift them). It wouldn’t let me do it, though. I got 6, and I’ll try inching it up some other time.
No, you’re not bad. I saw the school cop from my junior high at another checkout yesterday WITH ANOTHER MAN! and went over to casually flirt. The conversation contained more attention to me than was probably necessary, since I only ever spoke to the man once, and a heavy backpatting (from him), and a “See you later” from me. ACUG would be jealous.
And of course, another triplepost from chaoticdonkey… that should have been ACUG, in bold, as you probably figured out.
BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!
why, yes, ashes, that is EXACTLY what I meant.
Mr. Anachi passed his follow-up cardiology exam with flying colors. He’ll be home for one more week to get his feet under him and then he can go back to work. But no more doing yard work like he was fifteen years old anymore. He’s got to pace himself and not allow any overheating. He’ll be on blood pressure and cholesterol medication for life, though, but it’s worth it considering the alternative. Listen to this bit of info the doc gave us. Fifty percent of people who have heart attacks like Mr. Anachi’s don’t even make it to the hospital. Twenty-five percent more die after they get to the hospital. He’s a very lucky man and I’m a very lucky woman.
swampy, did you have an event or did they catch something on a test? (If I’m not being too nosey.)
bob, you’re just oozing a new level of confidence! We’re so proud of you!
fcm, have you asked rue if he’d like the giant grasshopper to keep his gnome company?
Goat story sounds like some wannabe satanists were up to no good. Very bad people.
everybody else, have a good safe weekend and be sure to love on your family and friends.
Tupug, that’s great news. You are both very lucky. So lucky, in fact, that you need to celebrate by hiring a landscaper. 
I’ve decided that as a companion to Susan’s short skirt alerts, I’ll be keeping you all informed about Hell’s Wedding, as first bitched about in this thread. Because I need somebody to bitch to about this.
Yesterday I went bridesmaids’ shoe-shopping–without the Recalcitrant Bridesmaid™. I was totally unaware that they sold dyeable satin porn-star platforms. Color me impressed. Of course, I think three-inch platforms along with a very tight spaghetti-strappy dress and a whole lot of champagne are a bad idea, so I think I’ll go for something a little more tasteful.
It’s lunchtime, so I’ll save the enormous amount of venting about planning the shower for next week.
Puggy, I just had to backtrack to find the post you and Ashes[sup]2[/sup] were refering to. It reminded me of something I read on a weight loss surgery site I hang out on. Wording slightly changed so I don’t have to explain insider acronyms.
===========================================================
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask, and still heavily sedated from his procedure.
A young student nurse is checking his vitals.
“Nurse”, he mumbles, from behind the mask. “Are my testicles black?”
Embarrassed, she replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here checking your vitals.”
He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, are my testicles black?”
Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure from worry about his
testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his “Little General” in one hand and his testicles in the other. She gently lifts and turns the “boys” from side to side, then, she takes a real close look and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir!”
The man pulls off his mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was SO nice, but, listen very, very closely…
A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s -b a c k??"
I’m glad Mr. Anachi passed his test. See children? Studying pays. Seriously I’m glad he’s doing so well. Now just make sure he takes care of himself even if it means hittin’ him upside the head with a clue by four every now and then Puggy.
I had an “event.” Or maybe it was an “episode.” Tightness in the chest, difficulty breathing, that kinda stuff. It wasn’t a heart attack. Actually I never really found out exactly what it was. All I know is it felt like what everybody says a heart attack should feel like and if it wasn’t a heart attack, I don’t ever want to have one! The worst part of the heart catherization to me was the having to lie there for six hours afterwards with this sandbag thing on my leg. I had to pee. I asked for one of those little jug thingys. I was told that I couldn’t do that. I said ok, I’ll just pee all over the bed then. I got me a jug thingy to pee in. Obviously I impressed upon them the fact that I would pee on the bed. Never mess with a bear who has to pee and has been pumped full of liquid valium.
donkey was this flirtation at Wally World or Mickey’s Place? I have no reason for wanting to know this other than extreme nosiness.
:: Shameless flirt ::
Hey Homebrew I’ll give ya a ride. 
<snerk> <snerk> <snerk>
BWAAAHAAAHAAAHAAAHAAAHAAA!!!