Hi, I'm A Dumbass And My Dog Is Dead...

…or, The Cast Of Friends Pointed Out That My Mom Is A Filthy Liar

So a bunch of us are watching Friends recently, and this scene comes on:

Ok, ha ha. I turn to my friends and say “Heh…funny stuff. Ya know, my folks really did send our dog off to live on a farm.”

:: dubious looks from friends ::

“Nonono, really…some friends of theirs had this ranch out near Heightstown. They gave Dobro to them.”


“Ok, ha ha, yeah, I get it, it’s just like the show, very funny. Except my dog really did go live there.”

“Ok, if you say so.” :dubious:

“Thank you…Be right back. I gotta call my mom.”

One phone call to mom later, it turns out that I’m a complete and utter moron.

Note to parents: if you’re going to lie to your kids (and I fully understand that you will sometimes need to do so), do them a favor: At some point, come clean with them. Tell them what really happened. They’re going to find out at some point, and I say it’s better that you level with them. As opposed to, oh, I dunno, having a fricking sitcom tell them, in front of all their friends, 20 fricking years later?! :smack:

Hmmm…rereading the thread title, it seems that someone could easily some in here thinking I recently did something stupid, resulting in my dog getting killed. Sorry if that’s the impression you got. That dog has been dead a loooong time (just not nearly as long as I had originally thought :smack: ).

Don’t worry, Hal. I saw the word ‘dumbass’ in the thread title and automatically assumed it was going to be a funny story about some other moron. :wink:

That’s Dumass, not Dumbass.


Heh…no, the “dumbass” in question is this moron. :slight_smile:

My mom still insists that our dog simply ran away and never returned. He had run off several times but he always came back.

Oh this was 1972 when Tinker ran away.

But I know the truth. And I knew back in '72.

You’re not an idiot, just a victim of a well-meaning parent.

This is the reason why I’m not a big fan of “fibbing” to kids. When I was young, my parents took an unexpected litter of puppies (we lived on a farm) to the local animal shelter for adoption. A stupid high-school-age shelter employee made the crack, “You’re just in time! We don’t kill them until tomorrow!” I don’t think I was ever the same again.

My old dog was sent to live on a farm, too.


I once spent about two weeks combing the neighborhood for a missing cat until Mom broke down and confessed she had run it over with the car.

My brother’s rabbit escaped from it’s cage and went to live in the pine plantation.

I don’t know if he still calls out hello to the rabbit when he drives by the plantation, but I think he still doesn’t know that the rabbit never actually lived there…

My dog not only went to live on a farm, it was the vet’s own personal farm! Or so my mom told me…

Gee, Mom said Dad went to live on a farm 15 years ago. I wonder . . . .

My family really did have a dog that was given to a friend out in the country – they were moving to a big city, and this was a dog that needed a lot of room to run and stuff. She’d have been miserable. The last I heard she was living a blissful doggie life.


We have pictures.

I was never lied to like this. It may be well-meaning, but I wouldn’t do it. Pets die. It’s awful, but it’s the truth.

I thought that Momsix was lying to me one time when she said that my cat’s girlfriend and all the kittens were going to go live on a farm (cat’s girlfriend was a stray) and then the farmer came to get them, so I thought he was the cat-killer.

She got put in a box in the trunk and taken away with all the kittens. About a month later, she showed up again. She got adopted by a neighbor and the neighbor had her spayed and she was my cat’s girlfriend till he died. Then a couple of years ago, she died.


When Dadsix’s hunting dog got arthritis so bad that he couldn’t walk anymore, Momsix was very blunt and said ‘Dadsix is going to shoot Spotty.’ At the time it gave me nightmares (I was around three), but now I appreciate the honesty if not the bluntness.

. . . but they told you she’d been hit by a car.

See!! The Farm exists. Ruby’s parents own it. The farm where all doggies go to!

So that’s why we had so many “strays”. :smack:


Considering that I was 21 or 22 at the time, I hardly think so. Good one, though.

I need to call my parents tonight.

I’ll get back to you tomorrow.

When I was a kid of about 9 or 10, I bought a cayman from the TG&Y store. I kept it in a big bowl and fed it raw hamburger.

My mom told me it “got out and ran off” one day. It’s only recently that I figured out that she let it loose in the bayou behind our house. She passed away several years ago, so I can’t confirm this, but there is no way it could have gotten all the way out the door through the whole house!

She probably did the little guy a favor, though.

Kids will believe anything. :frowning: