The door opens. I pull my pants halfway up, so at least I’m not exposing myself. Quick. Mom… at the door.
Me: “…Hi.”
Her: “Hello. What are you doing?”
Me(thinking fast): “It’s…Hang Around in my Underwear Day?”
“Okay. Um, do you want a hamburger?”
“No thanks.”
“This is a bit awkward.”
Pause.
“Well, bye then.”
Mom leaves, door closes.
Oh, jeez. My gosh. Did that just happen?
Has anyone else been caught red-handed, one-handed?
You should’ve taken the hamburger, man.
…oh, and no I havn’t. 
What the hell? Do you know how to knock? If you do, you didn’t learn from your mom…
I heard that May was National Masturbation Month, you could of told your mom that you were just commemorating the occasion.
Dude, that is not a cool handle (hehe, handle!)
May I be the first to say: this kid is wack (hehe, get it? whack? wack? wack=whack!!)
To answer your question, never by my Mom, but more than once by my sister. That may well be worse.
Lucky Charms
I just want to say that your SN and OP are cracking me up.
Elfkin: It frustrates me to no end when the 'rents dont knock. It’s why i’ve taken to locking most doors i’m behind. But then, of course, they get suspicious, whether there’s need or not.
imthjckaz: Believe it or not, that’s actually one of the things that was going through my mind at the time. weird?
Huh! two people have posted inbetween my clicking submit and actual posting. I’m glad to see i’m so popular 
Let me say: Lucky, you are a drunken wanker. (me, I’m just a wanker.) And thanks, donkey.
This isn’t a yes/no poll. I’d like to hear stories. Painful embarrassing (or otherwise) stories to lessen my own pain. Thanks, dopers.
My mom caught me and my boyfriend masturbating each other.
But we were 5 years old.
She told us to get dressed and go play outside now. So we went outside and made mudpies. That was REALLY fun!
My best friend in highschool was a dedicated onanist. As he always said, “Pick one thing and be the best at it!”
Anywho, whenever I would drop by for a visit his mom would answer the door and just tell me he was in his room. I would always knock on his bedroom door. He would always shout, “Just a minute!” And I would have to wait for him to appear.
Well, one day I decided to try a different approach. Instead of knocking, I quietly crept down the hallway to his room and flung the door open!
I can still remember his scream and the look on his face, heh heh…
Thus beginneth the porno movie…
Camp. About 16 years old. Someone coming up to the latrine saw my feet sticking straight out instead of on the floor as normal. Everyone called me “Spanky” for the rest of camp. I say, let those of you with a free hand throw the first stone.
Oh god do I have some stories. Just masterbation or being caught by your parents while having sex?
Door is shut I’m jacking off to some porn mag, when mom walks in with a basket of my clean laundry. I tried to get under the covers and throw the porn under the bed but i didn’t get either one done in time. So mom is standing their drops my laundry basket and says “here is your clothes” turns and basically runs out my bedroom door. She never said anything we both just pretended it never happened.
The closest my mom ever came was when I was in the living room watching one of my dad’s porno tapes. I’m in a chair with ‘it’ out and the video running when I hear steps. And I was close. Luckily the chair was close to the TV so I hit stop pulled up my pants just as the door opened and I’m sitting there with my heart thumping louder then ever before. Luckily she didn’t say much but went upstairs pretty quickly. As soon as she was out of sight I hit stop eject which the VCR seemed to do extra loudly. I zipped up and moseyed upstairs.
Although I was caught, not redhanded but with circumstantially. I had stolen one of my dad’s mags and had hidden it in a chair. I came home to find it gone and promptly stole it back. We never exchanged a word about it. Thank god. Although he did get drunk and call me out of bed at 3am to drill me about what kind of woman I wanted. Blond or red hair? Big or little boobs? That was moderately traumatizing.
Oh, and if you tell ANYONE I will hunt you down and fall at your feet crying like a baby till I guilt you into giving me money to go away.
I’ve caught my mom masterbating…how’s that for traumatizing? Even worse, I found her vibrator in her sock drawer while I was going to borrow a clean pair of socks, and her stash of self-made porn shots on our family computer. It scared me, a lot. Still does. After discovering that she used MY digital camera to take some of them, I stashed it away in the back of my closet, never for her to see again. She was asking to borrow it earlier…“No Mom, I don’t know where my camera went to…sorry…”
EWWW.
I’m like 18. Girlfriend is same. She comes home a day early from college to surprise me. Knocks on the bedroom window as I am falling asleep. I figured it’s my brother’s girlfried. Whoooooey was I wrong
She comes in, dressed to kill with a portable radio in her arms. Gets us into my room, closes the door ( which alas, HAD no lock). Tells me to lay down. Starts the music. This is all VERY out of character for her, but then she’d just spend her first 8 weeks at Sarah Lawrence and clearly some things were getting churned up in her mind.
She slowly strips for me, down to black satin bra and panties, and proceeds to seduce me. Ahhh, heaven. Just as she is tending my most urgent and turgid manly fantasies, there is a terse knock at the bedroom door. My mother’s voice says, " MAY I SPEAK TO YOU OUT HERE RIGHT NOW PLEASE??". Okay, so I was moaning in almost-orgiastic delight. So sue me.
Girlfriend got her act together and walked out of the house, raging. Strode up and down the street for like 25 minutes until I got her back in the house, where she and I just sat in shock in the living room, both humiliated and angry.
Meanwhile, Mom sits in the living room waiting for me. Girlfriend heads for the curb temporarily, I go and get The Lecture. " Not under our roof, etc. etc.".
Truly awful. And I figured fine, Mom. Not under your roof- so we spent a LOT of evenings in the back seat of her parent’s 1074 Delta Royale 88 convertible. Freaking cars were like boats, I was even then 6’ 2" tall, and could lay down comfortably. There was also enough room to kneel on the back floor rather comfortably
And yeah, this is one of those threads where I’m pleased as punch that this is my sig line.
Cartooniverse
I’m almost POSITIVE that in the year 1074 there were no Delta Royale 88 convertibles tooling around the ancient world. Sorry, Preview used to be my friend but we had a meanspirited and bitter falling out.
I will start this by saying I’ve never been one handed. If I ever needed relife I could always find someone, not being egotistical, just the truth. But I have been caught, TWICE in even more compromising situations. You think I would learn wouldn’t you?
Time number one. My then boyfriend had come over to watch Buffy (yes you read that right), and we were… you know, and had just finished up and he was about to pull out when I heard my parents come in the room, and hear “Get dressed and come down stairs!”. Of course my mom and dad hashed it out with me, yelled screamed (on the back porch for all the neighbors to hear), my mom was almost in tears. I of course lied bold face “It was the first time!”. Supriseingly enough, I was nether grounded, nor forbidden to see him again, and he wasn’t castrated.
And after not learning from my mistake and never fooling around in a house AGAIN…
Time number two. I was over at my psudo-boyfriend’s house, and we were down to “our skivies” as people would say and he had a comdom sitting on his night stand (he wanted to yeah and I have a “we have to be `offical’…” thing). So we’ve slowed down, but still lacking clothing, when we hear a door open, his door that is, and “Zav…” <slam> “I want her dressed and out of the house in five minuets!” Needless to say I hauled ass, got the fuck out and ran. Never saw him again, and he was forbidden to see me or speak to me.
Morgain La Fey
“There’s a dick in there somewhere” -My SO.
Hey PHYS-
Apparently you’re not alone. Check this link for some other testimonials:
http://www.allaboutsex.org/IGotCaughtDisplay.cfm?A_Z=DESC
I’ve had similar, btw. My experience is that it’s not fun at the time but is a great memory to look back on when I need some inspiration
PurpleHeadedYogurtSlinger, I guess you can start walking into your parents’ room without knocking first. and see what they have to say.
BTW, the length of your name messes up the display on my screen. I don’t know if it happens to others but maybe you could shorten it a bit… maybe purplehead or yougurtslinger will do?