I’m sorry US government, but how many times do you think you can put your nation on “high alert” following receipt of “credible information”?
How many times can you tell your citizens to expect “something bad” to happen within the next few days and then when it doesn’t happen expect them to take your warnings seriously next time?
Are you US people getting sick and tired of this “crying wolf” syndrome your government seems to be locked into?
I’m not getting tired of this at all. I prefer getting a heads-up that there is even a slight chance that there might be another attack on America.
So far, these warnings haven’t affected me adversely at all. When they do, then I might get upset, depending on the circumstances.
Getting a false alarm in the interests of our safety is a lot better than getting no alarm whatsoever.
[sub]I won’t even go into the fact that the US government is capable of discovering stuff before it happens. You know, that whole Millennium bomb plot that they foiled?[/sub]
I agree that it’s getting a bit tiresome, but I can understand why they’re doing it. If something actually did happen, and it turned out that the FBI (or whatever) had some inkling of it and DIDN’T issue a warning, people would be screaming for their heads.
What, are you kidding? I work four blocks from the White House. I to be prepared, and I will have only so much true advanced warning.
Imagine if I were to catch the news one day to see my next-block neigbor, Ted Koppel, languidly reporting from a fleeing helicopter that a big-ass nuke is armed and counting down over at Shrub’s pad. Only fifteen minutes to go, and the nuke defusing team is twenty minutes away. I have to do something.
Fortunately, thanks to high alert status, I’m already prepared, and I can follow this simple procedure:
[ul][li]Remove cigar from briefcase and light.[/li]
[li]Remove expensive bottle of tequila from briefcase and drink.[/li]
[li]Remove carefully rolled Nicaraguan tobacco blunt from briefcase and smoke. (I will need to have already practiced an intricate alternating puff and inhale scheme in order to avoid getting a lungful of cigar smoke.)[/li]
[li]Disrobe.[/li]
[li]Stagger into street, grab first babe running by in panic, commence apocalyptic drunken monkey sex.[/ul][/li]
Remember, forewarned is forearmed. I cannot be expected to put on a final display of pathetic, mindless hedonism without these warnings.
And by the way, I’m currently running a small training service, whereby the situation is accurately simulated and defensive procedures are reviewed and put into practice.
Ladies, I cannot stress how important it is to practice apocalyptic drunken monkey sex before the actual event occurs. As it is my duty as an American to do whatever possible which will help my country in this time of need, I’m proud to announce that my personal training service is now available to all women of the female persuasion.
Proud to be an American,
Sofa King
(And just to clarify–it’s only the wrapper of those blunts that is Nicaraguan tobacco.)