[QUOTE=Leaffan]
I’ve never heard of parents holding a party for kids graduating high school.
Is this a U.S. thing?
Is it a generational thing? (I graduated in 1980.)
Any other non-US dopers care to chime in?
[/QUOTE]
I’ve not come across it in Australia. The terminology here is different anyway. Children don’t “graduate” from high school. They simply “finish” high school. The verb “to graduate” is restricted to the completion of tertiary studies at a university.
If she didn’t want to make a big deal about it, you did exactly the right thing. For kids who expect to do a lot more, I can understand not treating it as a major accomplishment.
I insisted that my family treat my high school graduation as a non-serious thing. Instead of “Congratulations Marley!” or whatever, I decided that the cake should have just one word on it - PLASTICS.
It was pretty standard at my high school to have an open house–the last couple weekends of the school year were all about getting to everyone’s, as well as holding my own. They weren’t necessarily big, most had about twenty people.
My parents, who are really not very into pageantry and celebrations, were very happy to hold the party for me. They didn’t think it was over the top. They ordered a decorated cake, made lemonade, and grilled bratwurst. Some of the graduation gifts were a microwave, plastic storage bins, and luggage–all of which I am still using eight years later.
I never had a bat mitzvah or first communion or Sweet 16–I think I sort of deserved a party. No party for college graduation. Didn’t even march for Master’s graduation, but threw myself an open house party. Will probably do that again for Ph.D.
[QUOTE=Dinsdale]
On one hand, many folks simply approach such events as a handy excuse to throw a party. More cynical folk may suggest, however, that it is a symptom or the “all about the kid” culture so apparently prevalent in the US.
[/QUOTE]
Part of it may be the “all about the kid” culture, but my family and friends had 8th grade and high school graduation parties at least as far back as 1977, when I graduated from 8th grade. One possible difference was that our parties involved the extended family and possibly a few close friends of the parents- and not the friends of the graduates. It’s a little more than just an excuse to throw a party, though. It’s just easier to get all my aunts and uncles and cousins together for an “event” (graduation, communion, baptism,wedding,retirement,Super Bowl, whatever) than to get them together for a barbeque for no particular reason.
I know that this especially popular in Michigan, but it looks like it’s popped up in other locales based on previous posts. Everyone has an open house, and I do mean everyone, regardless of economic situation, grades, popularity, whatever.
It’s usually 200+ people over the course of 2 to 4 hours. Family comes and stays for the day, friends, teachers, and coaches make the rounds. Every weekend in June is packed with open houses, and I know that my cousins, my brother, and myself usually went to at least 5 a day. A lot of people set up tents in the backyard with tables and chairs for the guests, and food can range from a family potluck (mom makes fried chicken, aunt louise brings the potato salad, etc.) to catered affairs.
People usually bring presents (often in the form of a check written for the graduation year. For example, if the graduate graduates in 2004, the check is for $20.04). Most of the people I knew from across the state ended up with enough money to buy a computer (which they usually bought for school with their open house money).
For me, I went out to dinner at The Country Club with my parents, brother, and grandma the evening of graduation and had the open house a couple weekends later.
[QUOTE=Cunctator]
I’ve not come across it in Australia. The terminology here is different anyway. Children don’t “graduate” from high school. They simply “finish” high school. The verb “to graduate” is restricted to the completion of tertiary studies at a university.
[/QUOTE]
American high schools have pretty much appropriated most college/university commencment traditions, right down the cap and gowns. At my school the faculty also wore robes with colored hoods.
[QUOTE=alphaboi867]
American high schools have pretty much appropriated most college/university commencment traditions, right down the cap and gowns.
[/QUOTE]
And it’s also happening at lower levels, though they’re sometimes not called graduations.
My brothers Brad and Danny just graduated from high school and tech school this spring, respectively. Memorial Day weekend, in fact. We had an open house/barbecue, just like we did when I graduated from high school and my sister graduated from college. (My sister, by virtue of being the oldest, got her own party, natch.) I would say my parents spent under $150 on the food and beverages for the whole thing, and probably closer to $100 than $150. Definitely no catering, except for the cake. We invited relatives and family friends–people who have known all us kids since before we were born and quite a few who had known our parents just as long. You certainly don’t expect anyone to bring you money, but if they do, that’s great. You thank them for coming to celebrate, anyway.
That sort of thing is traditional around here (Wisconsin). It’s a chance for everyone to get together after the spring planting is done and before haying starts. It’s pretty hard to schedule something in high summer, so graduation is a good excuse to get everybody together, drink a little beer, and eat some brats. (Yes, there was cheese, too.)
In Spain there isn’t such a thing as “graduation”. Not even for college: since you have to pass every course you took and you usually can’t drop any course you’ve signed for, most people end college on sort of an irregular schedule. You have to retake the exams until you pass (some places have limits on the number of tries, others don’t).
Engineers and Architects must write/design and defend a thesis, so for us “defense” would be college graduation. Defense is individual; the person defending usually brings trays of pastries and drinks. I got the necklace I wore to the defense as a graduation present but Mom borrows it freely since, unlike most of my jewelry, she likes it - and I can’t stand necklaces, so some present to me… Lilbro got a new watch (which he chose) when he got his last Pass. I don’t remember what did Middlebro get, I was out of the country.
For your daughter I’d do… exactly what she wants! Why do people always insist in not giving you what you’ve clearly stated you want? poke poke Why be assertive if it doesn’t work, hmmmm?
[QUOTE=Leaffan]
I’ve never heard of parents holding a party for kids graduating high school.
Is this a U.S. thing?
Is it a generational thing? (I graduated in 1980.)
Any other non-US dopers care to chime in?
[/QUOTE]
There is no such thing as “graduating” high school in England. You just leave when you’re done. It made it a little difficult to muster the appropriate level of enthusiasm for my son’s graduation from an American High School last month. He did comment, but didn’t seem to mind, that all his friends were showered with gifts and money from their relatives, but he didn’t get anything, not even a card, from his relatives in England.
We got him a laptop.
[QUOTE=amarone]
There is no such thing as “graduating” high school in England. You just leave when you’re done. It made it a little difficult to muster the appropriate level of enthusiasm for my son’s graduation from an American High School last month. He did comment, but didn’t seem to mind, that all his friends were showered with gifts and money from their relatives, but he didn’t get anything, not even a card, from his relatives in England.
We got him a laptop.
[/QUOTE]
That’s interesting. I was born in Scotland and emigrated to Canada when I was 6, with parents obviously. I don’t even remember a “congratulations” or anything. Heck, I graduated from a 3 year Community College Electronics program and never even got a “congratulations” or gifts of any kind. I thought that was standard!
I never even attended either graduation ceremony because I didn’t want any kind of celebration. I was just glad to finally be done school at the end of it all.
I guess my upbringing is such that graduation is expected, and not viewed as an accomplishment.
[QUOTE=Nava]
For your daughter I’d do… exactly what she wants! Why do people always insist in not giving you what you’ve clearly stated you want? poke poke Why be assertive if it doesn’t work, hmmmm?
[/QUOTE]
A couple of thoughts:
-in some part, recognizing the event in some manner can serve a function for folks other than the graduate.
-in the past, I have experienced folks who said they didn’t want people to make a fuss over x or y, only to later complain that no one adequately acknowledged the event.
-maybe she is she, or uncertain exactly how she wants it to be recognized/celebrated.
My p’s didn’t have a party for me, but I went to my share of family and kid parties when I graduated HS in 78. Hope my kid doesn’t repeat that example. Probably just about the closest I ever came to dying from acute intoxication. Started with gimlets in my friends’ family’s backyard, and went steeply downhill from there. I think I’ll have a little talk with my dayghter this evening…
Your kid has her head on straight. From what you said, she’s got her party quota filled nicely elsewhere. Just coordinate with the other parents to avoid things like DUIs, TBIs, Vehicular Altercations and Summer Funerals.
Dins, Sunday is supposed to be a beautiful day, so I’d go with just what she asked for. Wrap up the shirts to give her as a gift, spend the day enjoying the weather, if she wants to invite a few friends to have dinner with you maybe - pick up a nice cake - it sounds like a lovely, laid back way to celebrate.
What kind of flute??? I play too, and I would’ve KILLED for a flute when I graduated way back when… 
[QUOTE=Missy2U]
Dins, Sunday is supposed to be a beautiful day, so I’d go with just what she asked for. Wrap up the shirts to give her as a gift, spend the day enjoying the weather, if she wants to invite a few friends to have dinner with you maybe - pick up a nice cake - it sounds like a lovely, laid back way to celebrate.
[/QUOTE]
Wait a minute. You aren’t suggesting this graduation thing ought to interefere with my standing Sunday morning tee-time or my Sunday afternoon nap in the hammock, are you?!
I don’t know the brand/model of flute. I think it is a guy’s name, first and last. I’ll get it for you so you can drool!
She previously had her “beater” marching flute and a nicer Yamaha. For college she has been accepted into professors’ studios on both flute and piano. And to some extent her old flute limited how good she could sound.
She and her mom attended a flute convention downtown, and she got a couple of recommendations from her teacher. When she started talking to the one vendor, he said, “I’ll talk to you all day if you want and would be glad to sell you a flute, but from what you say, that guy over there has what you want.”
(Of course, “that guy over there’s” flutes started around 50% higher than the first guy’s!) LOL
As I understand it, the difference is between a top-of-the-line student model (what she was first looking at) and an entry level professional model (what she got). According to both her and her mom, the audible difference between the two was significant. Even a tin-ear such as myself can tell the improvement over her old flute. This was really the time to get it, as she’ll be getting a lot of use out of it in the upcoming years.
It is funny, but as far as appearance goes, a flute is a flute. Just a silver tube with some keys. I asked her to show me how it was different from her old flute, and all she was able to point to was a raised ridge on the srms of the keys. Big whoop! I could appreciate the fancy wood case, tho!
(She also plays - and hates - piccolo, and plays fife for her brother’s American Rev. War re-enactment group!)
I have another thread discussing what type of car we might give her a couple of years down the line. In reality, she’d vastly prefer a beater or no car, and a Steinway instead! She often says she is going to live in a small house - not an apartment so she can practice all day and night. All that is important is that it have room enough for her Steinway grand - even if she has to sleep on the floor under it!
I’m gonna miss hearing her flute and piano. At least we’ll still have 2 more years of her brother’s trumpet, and 3 years of the youngest’s bassoon! After that, it will just be my wife sqwuaking away on her fiddle, and me banging on my mando!
I kept my graduation diploma from kindergarten for quite a few years. 
In my case, our elementary school went to eighth grade and high school was 9-12. I skipped 8th and they didn’t let me walk with the 8th grade graduates so my parents got me a Cross pen and other trinkets to make sure I didn’t feel too bad or miss out.
For high school graduation, my parents and grandmas and I went out for dinner beforehand (I was 16 but mom let me drink gin and tonic as long as I didn’t have too much and embarrass myself walking on stage). Friends and I stayed out late at the diner and visited a couple of parties. My close friend’s family had a party for her but my family didn’t have one, just the dinner. I had never learned to ride a bike so I got a ten-speed for graduation, as well as a three-strand freshwater pearl necklace. A matching bracelet was the gift at college graduation, but no party.
As mentioned above, the only two parties my parents ever had for me (with people other than nuclear family) were for Communion and Confirmation. Those were the milestones they wanted to really celebrate.