That says it all.
I graduated on stage but I didn’t care. Mostly I did it for my parents, as well as I never thought I had a choice anyway. I had a large class with two ceremonies and all my friends were at the opposite end of the alphabet so I didn’t even graduate with them.
My son doesn’t want to graduate on stage. I don’t care one way or the other. He thinks it’s stupid and a waste of time. He’s not much for any kind of ceremonies and celebrations anyway.
Did any of you not bother with the ceremony? Do you regret not going?
I don’t want him to look back years from now and regret it, then again I barely remember mine.
I made him do his senior portrait, he didn’t care about that either. I told him that is as much for his class as for him, he should be in the yearbook.
I doubt anybody will remember who was or wasn’t at graduation though.
You can encourage him to attend if it means a lot to you. But ultimately it’s his graduation and his choice. If he makes a bad choice and later regrets it, it’ll be one final lesson he can take from school.
I did high school, but not undergrad or grad. I hate the mess and inconvenience and boredom of graduation, although I tear up at Pomp and Circumstance. My daughter did for her high school, undergrad degree, and grad degree, but it was all her choice. Let him pick.
I did high school, but not college*. My parents wanted me to walk for my Bachelor’s but I didn’t really care so I didn’t walk. I don’t regret it at all and my parents got over it very quickly. It should be totally his decision, but even if he doesn’t walk, you should do something special for his graduation. Ask if there is something he would rather do that night and see what he says.
*In high school, it never occurred to me to not walk, but if it had I probably would have anyway because you had to walk to attend the Graduation night party held by the school. That was my favorite high school memory, hands down, and I and very glad I didn’t miss it. I hardly remember the ceremony part of the evening at all.
I think my kids would both have chosen to walk anyway, but I would have twisted their arms just a little for their high school graduations only because I knew how important it was to their grandparents. My older daughter walked for her university graduation, and that was completely her choice, but she also knew that her parents and sister were coming across the country for the occasion and that we’d be kind of sad if she’d decided not to take part.
If the ceremony truly doesn’t matter all that much to you and if you don’t suspect he secretly wants to take part (sometimes teenagers really do care but they aren’t able to express it, even to themselves), then I’d say let him skip it and celebrate in a way that’s meaningful to him.
If this is really true, then of course it’s up to him. But the fact that you started this thread kinda means you might care a little. Use this to teach him that sometimes you have to do things you don’t like, just to make someone else happy.
I did high school and under grad because I knew my folks wanted to see me do them. I was a little older when I graduated from grad school and didn’t walk. The best thing about finishing grad school was seeing the UGA and Athens, GA in my rearview mirror as I drove away for the last time. No way was I going back six months later to walk.
There were 849 kids in my high school graduation class. They pretty much read off our names rapid-fire as we dashed across the stage to receive a blank piece of paper. We got our real diplomas once we returned our gowns (we had the option of buying our caps.) It never occurred to me that I had the choice not to walk - and back then, it may not have been an option. Anyway, I’m with your son, especially since you don’t care for yourself.
My daughter opted to walk for her college graduation, but I’d have been just as happy if she didn’t. Ceremonies are OK if you like that sort of thing…
I did high school because my parents gave me no choice. I skipped undergrad and grad.
Where I teach, Commencement is a very, very big deal to the students and community. Our kids would be mystified at the idea of somebody not wanting to march. I say let him skip it if he wants, but remind him that he is going to graduate HS only once. Whether it turns out to be a happy memory or a 90 minute annoyance, he gets only the one opportunity to experience it.
Each year at the graduation ceremony, I remind myself about much of the above. For me, it is an annual annoyance standing between me and my summer vacation. For the kids, it is a once in a lifetime experience culminating something that took 12 years to earn.
I didn’t really want to walk in undergrad and grad school, but I gave in to family pressure.
I’m glad I did. Despite it being boring and a bit of a train wreck, I think there is some value in marking time and achievement, and looking back it was a good bonding experience with my friends.
Anyway, for high school he should recognize that it’s more about his family than himself. Presumably his family has supported him through this journey, and they deserve a little reward at the end.
If he’s old enough to graduate, he’s old enough to shoulder the responsibility for making this decision himself. If he regrets it later, he’ll live. But he’s a grown man now, and shouldn’t be forced into a ceremony he doesn’t feel he needs, and you seem indifferent to, because it’s what everyone else does, or the neighbours expect it, etc.
He’s graduating school there seems no better moment to demonstrate your trust and confidence in his ability to make his own decisions, in my opinion.
My older brother did not attend his graduation, he descided to work that day I do not think he regrets it
When it came to me I was not sure if I wanted to bother or not. But I did the walk. Do not remember much about the day.
I was not sure about high school graduation because I was going to college. Now that graduation (and attendance was requires) from college I looked forward to from the day I entered the gates. And I tried to throw my hat higher than anyone else. That day I remember well.
Attendance was required because we had to raise our hand twice and say our I do speach twice. Once for the Navy to receive our commisssion and more importantly the other for the Coast Guard to recieve our Third’s license.
I did mine in high school even though I didn’t want to. it wasn’t some great burden, but I really would have been happier getting the hell away from those people a day sooner.
My high school graduation ceremony was a waste of time. It was hideously long and boring (around 600 students graduating) and my name was mispronounced when it was called. It didn’t occur to me not to go though. I didn’t bother going to my college graduation.
How long ago was it? Were you bullied or something? I wasn’t friends with everybody in my high school class by any means, but the hour or so spent at the ceremony was pretty inconsequential. That was the last time I ever saw most of those people. A fair few of them have died in the 30 some years since, so I won’t ever see them again. Not going because of genuine indifference is something I understand, it’s why I skipped undergrad and grad commencements. Not going because of a case of teen angst, not so much. Clinging to that teen angst years later, even less. For somebody_and The Dope is oversupplied with them_whose every high school memory is a hot, snotty, tearful littany of shame, embarassment, and ostracism, it’s very important to go. It’s where you say goodbye to all of that. It’s over, you won’t see these people again, you are beginning your grown up independent life. Then when the ceremony is over, actually put it all behind you. Few things are less attractive than adults who still gnaw at the wounds of bullshit that happened in junior high and high school.