Heh. Sounds like a cinch.
::tries it::
AARGH!
HEY! I may have only wanted a stoat since Today 04:35 PM, but by golly, it’s not the length of time, it’s the irritating quality of the whine, and I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant one noooooooooooooooowwwww, and if I don’t get one, I’m going TO …
:reads link:
Holy crap, they eat penguin chicks? Shit. I can’t get behind any creature that eats penguin chicks.
Incidentally, The Devil’s Grandmother, I’m terribly sorry for your loss. I’m sure Blackjack was a fine giraffe and lived a full and happy life.
S’okay, I totally changed my mind on that whole stoat thing. Don’t really know what the hell I was thinking, if you want to know the truth.
Can I have a penguin chick? You could use the stoat box that you don’t need for a stoat anymore.
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?
Only four feet? Oh dear. We’re going to have delivery problems. I, in good conscience, cannot send you a giraffe in a four-foot box.
You’ll have to settle for a cactus.
Hm. Penguin chick. They don’t stay all…chickish for long, you know. So, how many chicks would you like and where would you want them? I may be forced to paint some ducklings in order to fill the order.
Oh, let’s make it 10, just in case there are any stoats around, and where I want them is here, duh. I give you fair warning that I will be examining all penguin chicks very closely indeed, and any signs or smells of paint will result in me giving you the stink eye.
Ducklings. Pah.
Oh, now you don’t like ducklings? Madam, ducklings are the backbone of our economy. I won’t have you turning your nose up at cute, itty bitty ducklings!
Hey, what about my spider monkeys?
They’re right there on your doorstep.
…Oh crap, why are those boxes open?
Does anyone want an elephant in their garden?
I don’t have a doorstep. I think your courier left them at the wrong address.
Can I place an order for a poison dart frog? poison dart frog - Google Search
Surely finding a frog size box won’t be an issue.
I saw on Animal Planet that 200+ people are killed by hippos every year. I presume they were talking about the big ones and not the pygmies…But all hippos are kind of ferocious by nature. … which is wierd because they look so cute. 
I would like a pygmy giraffe please. Thank you in advance for expediting this order.
Oh the cute!!
Don’t misunderstand me – I am exceptionally fond of ducklings, particularly in a nice orange glaze. My only issue is with clumsy ersatz ‘penguin chicks’ with clumpy, paint-stiffened feathers.
I have full confidence in your ability to fulfill my penguin chick order to our mutual satisfaction.
I wonder if I can train them to perform like the waiters in ‘Mary Poppins.’
It is strange how hippos are so dangerous when they do look so cute.
Do I want a pygmy hippo for Christmas?!! Well, no, not really, because its my birthday on Thursday so for then would be good. And also the hippos in my garden would like some company.
Apart from hippos, do any other animals come in pygmy forms? And if so are there any animals that can’t come in pygmy form at all? And why?!
I actually used to have 2 pygmy hippos! Their names were Jojo and Joetta, and they lived at the St. Louis Zoo. My parents adopted them for me for a year, when our long-term daughter Merah was moved to another zoo so her living room could be redecorated. 
You can watch the summer “migration” of Nicola and Thug at the London zoo. And guess what! They’re up for adoption, too!!!
ETA:
Pygmy marmosets. SQUEEEEEEE!
NOWAY!!!
They are mine!!Noone else is allowed to have them!!
HEEEEEE!! Go You!
Hippoy Birthday!!!
Re-reads delivery charter
Pygmy hippo, you say?
. . . You’re sure about that? Yes?
So . . . Not hippie pygmies? You’re sure?
Well, blast . . .