I always have. But I’m watching a National Geographic show on elephants. They stick up for each other. They’re intelligent. Then there’s that useful trunk. I could get rid of the car an ride him to work. Who would argue? And nobody would mess with me when they see the elephant in the garage.
You are aware, are you not, that peafowl produce a cry which sounds strikingly like a screaming woman? It might be awkward if the neighbors start thinking you’re a serial killer, or something.
In a now-famous thread, a Doper named Homer (in a thread no longer online) waxed poetically about monkey butlers, as did Bart Simpson (no relation). That’s what I want. Except I want one that talks. And plays the piano. (Hey, no one said the things we want have to actually exist).
Speaking of Bart Simpson, he learned the hard way once that an elephant is not something you want as a pet, even if KBBL is gonna give you something stupid.