Well, no. The box isn’t the problem…see, the problem is that they’re fucking coated with poison.
What about a paperclip bent into the shape of the letter “S”?
2 things:
- Anthropomorphized Eggplant = BAND NAME!
- Great moat guardians. Only if you attach frickin’ laser beams to their heads.
Use tongs.
I couldn’t decide what creature I wanted and then I remembered these creatures from a thread here. I would like a set of them please … unless, do you suppose that much cuteness could be lethal? Oh well, I’m sure it will be fine. Just look at their big eyes and cute little paws! Squee!
Ow!
I think I hurt something.
So … pygmy hippos, huh?
Yes quite sure, though if you could find hippy hippo pygmies that would be fun.
O wow yes! Brilliant. Well if you ever hear of a band called that in the future think of me and my hippos (not that I can sing, dance or play any instrument in any kind of way, but I am damn good at keeping hippos in my garden).
Oh. my. goodness. Now that is cute. What are they?! But yes, hippos for me please. With ribbons and a pond.
Use latex gloves. Let’s go. Chop chop! Frog in a box. I’ll send you address details by carrier pigeon.
Well, I can’t just be sending out cute poisonous things now, can I? Sheesh! How do I know that you have latex gloves? How do I know that the cuddly frog isn’t allergic to latex? Did you ever think of that miss, smartypants?
Im not sure I like the idea of sending out frogs now. What happens if they hop out in the sorting room?!
You want cute? Here’scute.
I believe they were determined to be a Japanese species of flying squirrel. Apparently, it was the inspiration for Anime.
A flying squirrel?!!! Wow! Everyone should have one of those. They could be used to deliver post-like the owls in Harry Potter.
Dangerous rampaging pygmy hippopotomussesssseessesssess are OK, but my little ol’ request for a teeny weeny poison dart frog is denied? 
Waaaaaaaah! I’ll be careful! I promise! I won’t lick them or rub them on anybody!
Yeah, but what if they get all cuddly in the middle of the night? You feel a cold little hand in the bed, and being a good frog-mama, you pull the cute little thing in for a snuggle…
Its all fun and games until somebody gets hurt.
Your last sentence should read “It’s all fun and games until someone snuggles a poison fucking dart frog and dies from teh cute.”
teh cute seems to be a good way to go. I promise to keep him in an aquarium.
Make with the frog. 
Sheesh! Demanding little thing, aren’t you?
Hm…madam, how do you feel about a toad with a lawn dart duct taped to its back?
Not to introduce reality into this discussion, but poison dart frogs don’t actually create their own poison. They ingest it in the form of poisonous prey insects; the frog just has the ability to absorb the poison harmlessly and then excrete it later for its own defense. So if you simply feed a poison dart frog nonpoisonous insects, the frog itself becomes nonpoisonous. At that point you could freely bathe with the little suckers if you felt like it.
Well, that just changes everything. They’re not nearly as cute when they’re innocuous!
Huzzah! With this new information, I’d like to increase my order to one of every color. Thank you.
goes to prepare bathtub for frog frolicing
Heh, I like the part when the police cars inquire if there are any other “outstanding” (missing) elephants and then one patrol reports:
“We have one outstanding elephant…” “and it’s…um…eating somebody’s tree…”
Oh god. can’t stop laughing.