Sometimes it is a question of knowing your own kids (the 9/8 combination could be an interesting handful depending on the temperaments involved) and of course sometimes it is a question of remembering what you yourself got up to at that age.
We stayed home alone regularly when my elder brother was 13, also. So I was 11 and my sister was 8. Right off the top of my head, during that glorious alone time, we made flamethrowers with aerosol cans and matches, climbed out my mother’s bedroom window, walked round the pitched roof to the front of the house in order to jump off onto the trampoline which we had dragged there, shot squirrels with bows and arrows while the sibling was on the opposite side of the tree, facing the business end of the arrow*, skateboarded and rollerskated by means of grabbing on to the rear bumper or side handles of passing trucks and cars, and did I mention that way back then you could get black powder at any hardware store by saying you dad needed to blow up some stumps…honestly, why we are alive now, I have no idea.
And we were good kids. We got good grades, did our homework as soon as we got home, never went further from home than we were allowed, and generally followed the rules. Mom just never actually thought of telling us not to do the flamethrower thing I guess.
My mother has no idea why my sister will not allow her child to stay home alone. But I do.
Some of it also depends on where you live and what kind of support system you have in the neighborhood, and on how you operate as a family. My brother and I regularly looked after our younger sibs, but this is not the case universally. I know parents who pay their older kids to watch their siblings (which idea would send my own mother into a fainting spell) and others who think it is unfair to ask them to watch each other at all.
See, if you startle a squirrel, it will invariably climb up the nearest tree, go halfway up on the opposite side of where you are, and stop. If your sibling is already waiting on the other side of the tree, it stops and becomes a big fat target for them. My mother did put a stop to this who;esale slaughter of sqirrels by requiring us to eat them. After that we stuck to fishing.
Weighing in on the baby-sitter for 13YO thing…as kid who was expected at 13 to be responsible for her 10YO brother, well, it depends on the kids, right? HOw responsible is the 13YO; how difficult is the younger sibling(s)?
My brother was a holy terror, and it was way more responsibility on me than I’d be willing to put on a kid. I don’t think my parents ever realized what a stressful thing it was for me. I was always terrified he’d get hurt doing something stupid, or he’d pester me to the point where I really wanted to smack him, and there was absolutely nothing I could do except tattle to a parent when they got home.
If the kid was easy to control, it’d be one thing, but two kids, or even one kid that’s hard to control? No, I really wouldn’t.
I babysat out of the house alone by the time I was 11. This was 1976. But around the same time, and for a few years after that, our neighbors needed their own sitters and they were a year older than me. They were twin girls, who had a brother two years younger. My sister who was only 4 years older then them babysat for them. The reason…they all fought non-stop when left alone. It always came to blows and injuries!! Crazy. I believe my sister finally stopped sitting for them when they were 15!
We still laugh about it when we see them now. My sister who is now almost 50 jokes about having to babysit them when they were entering high school.
So, I didn’t think twice when I saw the ages. Some 13 year olds just aren’t ready to be left alone, and certainly not left in charge of younger siblings.
I don’t think you’re being impolite at all. I babysat at 13 as well, infants even!
However, there are some factors:
the 8 yo is an immature 8yo and might not pay attention to the oldest,
the two youngest go to a school that lets out before the oldest gets home from his school
I am going through a divorce and until I get a piece of paper that says it’s final and custody is mine I am taking NO chances.
They stay at home by themselves if I’m walking in the neighborhood to stores 1-3 blocks away, or I can trust them to go to the library or the park together (also 1-3 blocks away). I’ll do some longer trials during summer, but for now I’m keeping my sked. Plus the babysitter is really nice, knows the people in the neighborhood(advantage: adults and my children know each other) and free stuff going on in the neighborhood, and gets some homework done before I get home.
