Okay, some of us spent a lot of time trying to help a relative newbie with a problem he posted in The Pit about 5 days ago.
From the sounds of things, he was in a real dilemma and needed some input and we gave it. A lot of us contributed to the thread, but as of today, we haven’t heard anything back.
I realize no one is obligated to post if they received help from a particular thread, but speaking just for me, I really cared about how this person might solve his problem, and it would have been nice to have some sort of acknowledgement as to whether we helped or not.
I think a lot of you know me as someone who cares, and isn’t curious just for curiosity’s sake, right? It would just be nice to hear back from someone who cared enough to ask us for help.
I recall, way back in the mists of time, that something similar was raised about GQ threads. How an OP would start a thread, there’d be a heap of us chip in with information, cites, what have you – then, we’d hear nothing. Not even th’ drop of a pin.
After the point was raised, there was a rash of “thank yous!” all over the place.
I don’t think it’s so much “hit and run”, as it is a “well, that’s answered, I’ll move on now” kind of thing. It would be nice, I agree, if we could find out how what we’ve said or opined has helped the situation at hand.
Part of what a messageboard is, IMHO: communication.
Though a personal problem in the Pit and a general question in GQ are two different things. If I ask a GQ and get all the answers I need, and there’s not much more to it than simply wanting to know the answer, then I might not post back if it’s fallen off the front page, or whatever. Though I usually try and add a “thanks” in the OP just in case I don’t make it back.
The situation in the Pit, however, would seem to warrant another post - perhaps simply a “thank-you, your advice was appreciated/helpful”, if not a run-down of the outcome of the poster’s dilemna.
I suppose it’s a case-by-case basis, which is what makes it hard to define the etiquette regarding Thank-yous.
I think anyone who elicits help for a personal problem owes a “thank you” to anyone who responds in a helpful manner … because in doing so the respondents have become emotionally involved to a certain extent.
Seeking a factual answer to a General Question is somehow different …
Never said that they were exactly the same situations. I just said that there had been, to my recollection, an instance where folks were a little bit left dangling because of that different kind of closure – but no less an example of ettiquette – of the GQ “thanks”.
It’s down to that – a sense of ettiquette, IMHO. In the highly emotional, subjective atmosphere of a “cry for help” type of thread, of course the respondants would feel that a response to their concern, to their words, would be appropriate. To be quiet in RL when receiving solicited help is a social no-no.
But you can’t make them say “thanks”, and you can’t make them report back to tell you how your advice has changed the situation for the better, or the worse. Unfortunate, and leading to future misunderstandings, but true.
I feel that if someone comes to a message board, and asks for help with a serious personal problem (job. love life, home renovation, etc.) it’s very rude not to thank posters.
However, given the crash rate of the SDMB, I’m forgiving around here. If one tries to post a “thanks!” six times, and fails, well…
I think if someone posted a specific cry for help that emotionally involves repliers, it is important to return (as the original poster) to thank/update responders.
Allowing for the benefit of doubt (always a gracious behavior in all life situations)
(such as…has this person lost internet connection, hope, or perhaps died ?)
it’s good for us to express thanks, good for all involved, and this forms a community between Dopers.
This being said, I myself have been encouraged several times - as a newbie - and intend to learn to improve, like probably most newbies.
I will never forget the leap of liveliness I felt when the joy of a kindness was sent from someone who’s been here a while,…
So…if the poster is fairly new…awe shucks. If the poster is a regular…
awe shame:( upon poster!
