Because I have just acquired, through months of patient searching, bargaining, haggling, international intrigue, and intergalactic destruction, a mint-condition leather-bound set of the five volumes of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy trilogy, signed by Douglas Adams. Just like this one here, but not for nearly as much money. (This poor chump has been trying to sell his for more than three months now. I offered to take them off his hands if he dropped the ridiculous price, but he wouldn’t budge. Sucks for him, cause now I got my own!)
You may proceed to worship me now.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some reading to do.