Hitler Only Had One Testicle

So says Haaretz, quoting a real historian:

Now, from memory:

Hitler has only got one ball!
Goering has two but ve-ry small!
Has something sim’lar!
And Goebbels!
Has no balls!
At all!

Just thought you’d like to know.

Sung to the tune of Colonel Bogey March.

I missed the link to the real historian in that article. Can you help?

[TMI]That said, I’ve got a testicle (my left one, for those keeping score at home) that every once in a while decides to migrate back up into my body temporarily. Should I have been medically examined at the right moment, I might have the same diagnosis. But I’ve got (counting. . . one. . . two) yes, two testicles.[/TMI]

I still think this is just a bullshit story.

Do you know something about Prof. Fleischmann that I don’t?

(first, for those unfamiliar. see Undescended Testicle)

On to the IMPORTANT point:
It is ‘had only one’, NOT ‘only had one’

Then how the hell did they play tennis?

Both are equally understandable, and therefore equally correct.

According to my late grandmother that’s because he got one of them bitten off while trying to urinate into the mouth of a goat.

Or from a WW1 injury.

New balls please!

The story about the testicle being undescended can’t possibly be true. As we know, the other is is the Albert Hall.

That he runs a margarine business on the side?


“Only had one” means: he didn’t LIKE one, he didn’t WANT one, he only HAD one.

“Only” - the most commonly misplaced modifier in the History of the English language.

Wow! I was just thinking of that jingle in those idle moments before getting out of bed in the morning yesterday. I tend to stumble for some reason when I get to Goering’s name so I was just trying to get through the whole thing twice without a mistake.

By the way, the way I learned it is:

Hitler has just one ball,
Goering’s are rather small,
Himmler’s are somewhat sim’lar,
And Goebbels has no balls at all.

Aaannd I’ll leave you with an appropriate-themed joke:

How did Hitler tie his shoes?

[SPOILER]In little Nazis.

Get it? Knot-sies! Har har har![/SPOILER]

A Straight Dope Classic on the subject

I’ve only ever heard it as (in the UK):

Hitler has only got one ball
The other is in the Albert Hall
His mother
The silly bugger
Cut it off when he was small