Hitler Only Had One Testicle

[Derleth]

So says Haaretz, quoting a real historian:

A German historian claims to have discovered written proof verifying the myth that Adolf Hitler had only one testicle.

In a new book published on Friday, Prof. Peter Fleischmann of the University of Erlangen says that he found proof of the German dictator’s undescended testicle in a file from Landsberg Prison, where Hitler was jailed after the abortive Beer Hall Putsch in November 1923.

Now, from memory:

Hitler has only got one ball!
Goering has two but ve-ry small!
Himmler!
Has something sim’lar!
And Goebbels!
Has no balls!
At all!

Just thought you’d like to know.

[Senegoid]

@Derleth

So says Haaretz, quoting a real historian:Now, from memory:

Hitler has only got one ball!
Goering has two but ve-ry small!
Himmler!
Has something sim’lar!
And Goebbels!
Has no balls!
At all!

Just thought you’d like to know.

Sung to the tune of Colonel Bogey March.

[Frank]

@Derleth

So says Haaretz, quoting a real historian:

I missed the link to the real historian in that article. Can you help?

[TMI]That said, I’ve got a testicle (my left one, for those keeping score at home) that every once in a while decides to migrate back up into my body temporarily. Should I have been medically examined at the right moment, I might have the same diagnosis. But I’ve got (counting. . . one. . . two) yes, two testicles.[/TMI]

I still think this is just a bullshit story.

[Derleth]

@Frank

I missed the link to the real historian in that article. Can you help?

Do you know something about Prof. Fleischmann that I don’t?

[usedtobe]

(first, for those unfamiliar. see Undescended Testicle)

Now:
On to the IMPORTANT point:
It is ‘had only one’, NOT ‘only had one’

[Morgenstern]

@Derleth

So says Haaretz, quoting a real historian:Now, from memory:

Hitler has only got one ball!
Goering has two but ve-ry small!
Himmler!
Has something sim’lar!
And Goebbels!
Has no balls!
At all!

Just thought you’d like to know.

Then how the hell did they play tennis?

[Derleth]

@usedtobe

It is ‘had only one’, NOT ‘only had one’

Both are equally understandable, and therefore equally correct.

[alphaboi867]

According to my late grandmother that’s because he got one of them bitten off while trying to urinate into the mouth of a goat.

[madsircool]

Or from a WW1 injury.

[Mangetout]

@Morgenstern

Then how the hell did they play tennis?

New balls please!

[Mangetout]

The story about the testicle being undescended can’t possibly be true. As we know, the other is is the Albert Hall.

[John_DiFool]

@Derleth

Do you know something about Prof. Fleischmann that I don’t?

That he runs a margarine business on the side?

[usedtobe]

@Derleth

Both are equally understandable, and therefore equally correct.

Wrong!

“Only had one” means: he didn’t LIKE one, he didn’t WANT one, he only HAD one.

“Only” - the most commonly misplaced modifier in the History of the English language.

[Hopeful_Crow]

Wow! I was just thinking of that jingle in those idle moments before getting out of bed in the morning yesterday. I tend to stumble for some reason when I get to Goering’s name so I was just trying to get through the whole thing twice without a mistake.

By the way, the way I learned it is:

Hitler has just one ball,
Goering’s are rather small,
Himmler’s are somewhat sim’lar,
And Goebbels has no balls at all.

Aaannd I’ll leave you with an appropriate-themed joke:

How did Hitler tie his shoes?

[SPOILER]In little Nazis.

Get it? Knot-sies! Har har har![/SPOILER]

[Annie-Xmas]

A Straight Dope Classic on the subject

[amanset]

I’ve only ever heard it as (in the UK):

Hitler has only got one ball
The other is in the Albert Hall
His mother
The silly bugger
Cut it off when he was small