I’m 2/3 of the way through my 66th revolution of the Sun, but I remember feeling some of the same emotions as the OP when I approached 60; it used to be 50 when the angst struck you, but 50 never bothered me at all. But 60…retirement just over the hill, with a family history indicating I had 25-30 years left in me, what would the future bring…
Well, I just decided to do what I enjoyed doing, what had gotten me to this point in life, and not worry unduly and what was coming (whatever we are and do, we all are eventually food for worms in the long run). So I coach and referee youth soccer, travel to places either alone or with friends, and read as much as possible. It’s worked for 6 years and I plan to keep working at it.
The summer I turned 60, I went on a 400-mile bike ride. (Cycle the Erie Canal, I highly recommend it.) One fellow who bicycled the whole way was 89 or 90. It is possible to age and remain active, have a beer or two in the pub, and enjoy other fun activities. If you have medical conditions that interfere with one set of activities, you can try some others. Because of foot problems, I can’t run or ski anymore, but I can bicycle. Yay! It’s way more fun than running ever was. My 95 year-old Mom no longer sees well enough to read or play Scrabble anymore, but she doesn’t whine about it, but enjoys playing cards and listening to the tv.
You learn to go along with whatever it takes to keep going. Maybe physical therapy, if you need it to overcome some problems. If it doesn’t work, you learn to expand your tastes to enjoy activities you overlooked before. You give thanks daily for what you can do, and enjoy everything you can. Your enjoyments might even become more intense and purer, because they run deeper, and aren’t just obvious surface flash and bang. It all depends on you.
I did the Flatiron hike last weekend. I consider it a difficult hike - 2,600’ elevation gain, and a steep, rocky trail. It took us around 6 hours round-trip.
On the way down, we passed a guy who was coming up. He said that this was his 26th time doing this hike, and that he was 87.
Now, I don’t believe that everyone is capable of doing that (my mother, for example is 87 and in a wheelchair at a Memory Cate facility), but age alone means little.
I’m 58, and going to run in the Spartan Super in a month.
So, don’t give in to the temptation to give up because of your age - push yourself to do things you wouldn’t normally consider doing!
With him it’s impossible to know if it’s actual dementia or the many years of daily wine drinking (several bottles a day, mind you, but he can’t possibly be an alcoholic because it’s all expensive imported stuff!) catching up with him. He’s always been narcissistic, supercilious, cutting and an anger junkie with a nasty temper so seeing him just kind of fade out of things and starting to live in the past is actually seeing him in the kindest light I’ve ever been able to muster with the man. I admire my stepmother for her endurance putting up with him, that’s a woman who will definitely deserve her inheritance when the time comes!
He does come of long-lived stock, though–grandpa made it well into his nineties, as did a couple of his brothers and they were all sharp as tacks right up to the end, which is why I suspect dad is just suffering from the wet brain rather than true dementia.
Dementia comes in stages for some. My MIL finally got in a state of pleasant sweetness. She looked high with a smile on her face. We were so happy cause she had been struggling the loss of language skills. It was a nice ending for the old gal
You’re doing better now? Last I read your hip (I think it was your hip) had aged you considerably. Have you had surgery or PT to get the issue fixed?
For me, I’m not as old, I turn 40 next year. I am surprised OP’s grandparents lived until he was almost 60, my grandparents all died in my teens and 20s, I was barely 25 when the last one died.
Anyway, it scares me. Chronic pain terrifies me, and I forsee it in my future due to so medical issues I have.
I just hope medicine advances enough that when I do totally fall apart, that my quality of life won’t go to shit. I refuse to spend the last 30 years of my life being tortured daily.
Some folks deal with pain better than others. Don’t assume you’ll be miserable. If you keep moving and using muscles you’ll deal with joint problems better. RA, now that’s another thing. But new help for RA sufferers is coming I believe. I hope anyway. It’s a tendency in my DNA. And I’ve strained my joints considerably, over the years. It can’t all be bad to age.
My mother has horrible RA. She gets almost instant relief with chemotherapy (yes, the same stuff cancer patients get). Unfortunately, her insurance no longer covers the treatment, so when she has flare-ups, she has to scrounge around for $2000 to pay for it. But she hasn’t had a flare-up in awhile.
I’m 78 with dentures, bifocals, bad back, hip and knee problems, arthritic hands, can’t walk without a cane and everyone I’ve ever considered to be a best friend is dead and gone. I’ve cut my medications down to four pills a day, I’ve given up smoking and drinking and I’m a recovering drug addict. Thank God for my Kindle reader, Amazon Prime TV and Netflix. I’ve never felt better.
I’ve found that “old age” pain is easier to deal with.
All I knew before was sharp, short-term pain (most was sports-related, that you HAD to get rid of asap to get back out on the field). Now that I have pains that will be with me forever, I’m learning to live with them. I mentioned a bad thumb… I’m getting awesome at working without it (except I’m humiliated asking my wife to open a bag of chips for me).
Same with loud tinnitus and bad feet and tendons that tear and make me reach for my cane…
Huh… Y’know, I have every right to be miserable. But I tell myself “There are people with REAL problems out there…”
My friend and I met 82 year-old Battista Locatelli (patron of Battista’s Hole In The Wall in Las Vegas) in Zion NP on his 47th hike to the top of Angels Landing. His goal was to summit 50 times…I have no doubt he reached that goal without a problem.
I’m a mere 69 years old. I’ve learned that getting older isn’t something you have a choice about. (Well, there’s suicide, but that’s the stupidest possible option, one that removes all possibility of getting better.) So, I go see the doctors, to improve what’s wrong. I take a passel of meds every day, to make my heart, lungs, brain, and skin work better. It’s a hassle to keep up with all of it, but I do it.
You lost your last grandparent a few YEARS ago?
I turned sixty last spring and my last grandmother died in 1984. She was eighty-eight.
Seriously, I’m amazed that anyone in their mid to late fifties can still have living grandparents.
I’m pushing 64. There’s no need to freak out, but you have to get used to the idea that you’re becoming invisible and people are less likely to pay much attention to you. It’s liberating.
At gatherings, I just smile and people bring me stuff like I’m a doddering old fool. Great! Finally someone is waiting on me for a change. If I do something stupid or clumsy, I say something about how aging is not so easy. People buy it; it’s an easy sell.
I’m a software engineer and I love my work. I have no plans to retire, although some days it’s tempting. I haven’t yet figured out where to live for retirement. I’m done with this place. So many options to play with in your head. Some place warmer and small and with some distance from too many people.
It’s harder to be civil sometimes; I have less patience for indulging stupidity or reading one-dimensional thoughts or entertaining rigid ideologues. Worse, it’s more difficult to keep my mouth shut about it. Thankfully, I still have good self control and catch myself before doing too much damage.
You’re now at a point in life where you are free to define yourself. It’s really great. Enjoy it.
When I was born, I had 1 grandmother. The other one and the 2 grandfathers were long dead by then. My one grandmother died when I was a teenager. Grandma’s sister Ivy, though, lived to 100.
I’m 67 but I don’t look it and don’t feel it. I can still shlep heavy suitcases up stairs and take 6 mile walks in San Francisco without breaking a sweat (except if I have to up a damn hill.)
Plus I’m retired do I can finally start catching up on things, and I get lots of good discounts.
My father-in-law was trading stocks, and making money, at 99, was still writing music and going to concerts where his music was played, and also had a girlfriend. So I figure I have some time left.
99, going to concerts… with a girlfriend? Sign me up!
Back in my 50s, I invited a friend to join me in taking a bunch of kids to Summerfest. While we all paid our ‘fi’teen buck’, he paid five… “I’m 60, dude!”
I had no idea… and no idea I’d start looking forward to getting old so enthusiastically. Hey, if I can save a couple of bucks, bring on that mortality stuff.
Can’t tell you how often I bite my tongue and whisper to myself “Ooh, I am going to pit you SO hard as soon as I get on the Dope!”