What does it feel like to be old?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I had a little flu bug last week, just enough illness to keep me down, but not quite fully sick. My body was tired, my joints ached intensely, but I wasn’t nauseated and I had an appetite. My head throbbed a bit but never got to the point of headache. It was just a general malaise that lasted four days. My husband and I were talking about it and I wondered aloud if this is what being old feels like.

It got me thinking about aging and what a mystery it is to me and probably to a lot of people. Is that what being “old” feels like? What is old? How old will I be when I start to feel old? Is it now?

I’d like to know what Dopers have to say on the topic. How old are you? What is your sex? What is your height and weight? What kind of physical shape are you in? What’s your diet like? How often do you exercise? Do you have health problems? How do you feel on a daily basis? Do you have aches and pains? Do you get sick often? Does 80 feel like the flu?

I am 32, female, 5’4, 125 lbs, in good physical shape and in good health. My diet is about 75% the things I should eat (grains, veggies, fruit, protein) and 25% crap (ice cream, candy, McDonalds). I work out 2-3 times a week for an hour and work on my feet about 30 hours a week. I usually wake up feeling pretty good, although I do get joint pain sometimes and my left shoulder gets knotted up regularly. My knees and back hurt when I’ve had a long night at work, but it is usually better once I’ve rested. My aches and pains come and go, a result of a lot of physical activity. I get sick to the point of needing to stay home about twice a year for 3-4 days. Other than that I stay fairly healthy.

Please share however much you are comfortable with. I don’t expect everyone to answer all of the questions, but it’s a starting point for the topic. Thanks in advance for all of your responses!

2

Getting old? If you are fortunate it happens. Things creak. You can’t drink as much. You no longer want to go out all the time.

The upside- you have money. Kids are not your problem.

But you have to buy lots of medication.

3

Ya know, a part of me wants to slap you, but the other part of me understands your question.

The first time I felt “old”, I actually cried.
It was my 30th birthday.
In a bar, in Berlin, surrounded by friends.
I thought my life was over.
I have never cried on a birthday since.

You start to realize that you get smarter with age.
You also start to realize, even if you could, you really don’t want to live through it all again.

Yeah, things start to happen with the body…

I liken it to a really nice car. When new, everybody admires it and covets it…then, if you take care of it, it holds out pretty good, and if you take really good care of it, it becomes a classic and people admire it again.

But like all good cars, at some point it simply gives out.

The owner (call it a soul if you want) eventually trades it in and gives out. At that point, the body is nothing more than a relic of what used to be.

The owner never dies, just the rusted-out body.

I still have some miles left on me…go ahead, kick those tires…but yeah, sometimes I feel like I am getting rusty, and I know that tachometer is tickin’.

It’s been a nice ride.
No regrets.
But to be honest, at this stage of the game, I am sort of glad I don’t have to turn around and drive back.
Would much rather keep driving in this direction.
Don’t know exactly where I’m going, but it feels like I am going home.

4

I’m just 18 years older than you. What I’ve noticed so far:

Joints ache more.

Things go wrong with my body more frequently.

I feel like going to bed and getting up earlier - feel pretty good that I stayed in bed till 6:30 this morning although I was drifting in and out the last hour or so.

I enjoy music much less than I used to, but talk radio about politics much more than I used to. My interest in history has kept growing. But I don’t remember what kind of stereo we have and am not sure I’d remember how to operate it.

I resent that consumer electronics are lettered in fine letters done in medium darkish grey on a background that’s medium greyish dark. I want big white block letters on a black background and want to clunk the head of the graphic designer.

I feel way less competitive but want to help people more. especially young people at work.

A few years ago I went through a very nasty phase when it dawned on me that I was dying, albeit slowly enough it’ll probably take decades. But I felt like I was dying, which was terribly unfair because I’m still not mature enough to live my life properly and I’m never going to get the chance now. It got worse and worse because this truth wouldn’t go away. Then it got better somehow and I’m happy again even though I’m dying.

Most of all, there are zillions of things I enjoy doing and want to do. I can hardly believe how much excellent stuff there is to get into.

5

"I liken it to a really nice car. When new, everybody admires it and covets it…then, if you take care of it, it holds out pretty good, and if you take really good care of it, it becomes a classic and people admire it again.

But like all good cars, at some point it simply gives out.

The owner (call it a soul if you want) eventually trades it in and gives out. At that point, the body is nothing more than a relic of what used to be.

The owner never dies, just the rusted-out body.

I still have some miles left on me…go ahead, kick those tires…but yeah, sometimes I feel like I am getting rusty, and I know that tachometer is tickin’.

It’s been a nice ride.
No regrets.
But to be honest, at this stage of the game, I am sort of glad I don’t have to turn around and drive back.
Would much rather keep driving in this direction.
Don’t know exactly where I’m going, but it feels like I am going home."

Very nice.

6

I’m 48. 5’8’’, 172 pounds. I have never worked out on purpose. I don’t feel old. I have no aches or pains, and I haven’t had as much as a cold in a couple of years. I take no medicine. Sometimes my neck clicks as I rotate my head, and occasionally I hear my knee click. Otherwise, I have no symptoms of age, unless you want to count that I now fully appreciate the value of a nap. I eat once a day, in the evening, and have for decades. Somehow I’ve managed to avoid getting that “middle age spread.”

My eyes are getting a bit weaker, but that may have more to do with the fact that I am wearing a slightly wrong prescription of glasses. When I go to a real optometrist and get my next glasses, I expect to be able to read 1-point font again. Overall, i feel fine. She’s a woman. Day tripper. Help!

7

54, 5’3", 145 lbs.
I have a lot of joint problems. My first few steps in the morning are hobbling steps, because my feet and ankles hurt. I have bad hip that sometimes wakes me up from pain at night when I lie on that side. I have a bad knee from an injury a while back that hurts a lot of the time. My right shoulder and neck ache a lot.

The aches and pains I can live with. After a while, you just get used to a background level of pain and you manage it. You’re careful in what you do and how you do it. You get a little more anxious about things like falling.

Things that are ok about getting old:
I have a better perspective on life than I used to have. Things that would have sent me into a tizzy years ago don’t bother me so much now. I have a sense of history that you just don’t have when you’re young. I know a lot of stuff and can share it if anyone’s interested.

These are the things I hate about getting old:
My skin’s getting slack and wrinkled. My eyesight is changing in ways I don’t like. I reach for names and words that I know perfectly well, and I don’t find them handily in my memory. I’ve caught myself repeating things I’ve just said to my husband. I worry about my mind getting weak WAY more than I worry about my body.

Getting old: not for sissies. It’s harder for some than for others.

8

DMark, that’s beautifully written! You should submit it for publication in a magazine, maybe the AARP mag. Okay with you if I print it out and post it on my fridge and on the bulletin board at the office?

9

I’m between fishbicycle and Napier in terms of physical condition, but younger in age (43). For instance, when the temperature is warm enough, I can go on 20-25 mile bicycle rides and feel great and have no problems. But then there are times like this morning where I sat crosslegged on the couch to read the paper, and hobbled for a few minutes after getting up because my knees and hips hurt. About three years ago I noticed that it was getting harder to do close up work, and now it’s getting really uncomfortable, so bifocals are in the very near future. As far as attitude goes, I’m less competitive (I’m taking graduate classes with mostly 20-somethings, and I’m just glad to get a passing grade) and more willing to educate, but I still sometimes get ticked off at younger people who rush to judge without a deeper historical understanding of a situation. Ageing has been so gradual that I haven’t really noticed, which isn’t good if I start to lose range of motion or strength. Overall, I think I’m doing about as well as I was 20 years ago, except for joints and eyes.

Vlad/Igor

10

Now 79 years old, 5’9", 145 lbs. One comedian noted that in old age almost everything hurts, except the parts that are numb.

I quite smoking (pipe, cigars) about 40 years ago but still miss it. When young tried not to eat anything that was not fried, but as got older and a little wiser, made an effort to eat properly. I used to quaff martinis like water, but also reduced alcoholic intake to an occasional glass of wine or a beer.

I have always exercised vigorosly and still do almost every day. I ran long distance every day for 20 years and ran many races (10 marathons) until my knee got bunged up, so stopped at age 66 and started mountain biking and mountain climbing.

About that time began to suffer from Old Age Setting In, with more joint pain, less vigor, more fatigue earlier on and other assorted ills. Some medical crises (prostate cancer, heart problems, etc) which weathered pretty well due to my good physical condition according to the docs.

Got arthroscopic surgery on the knee and that became OK, so still climb mountains.

So, feel pretty good for the shape I’m in. The only real benefit of getting old, I guess, is that one gains a modicum of wisdom, so I don’t try to kill myslef by climbing faster, breaking PRs in biking, and other stupid things I used to do all the time.

I was alwasy an A-type, but now I am much, much more content. I can appreciate the beauty in nature, in art, in other people. I try very hard not get angry at all the stupidity out there (partially succeed), and try not to sweat the little things.

I am fortunate in my family with a lovely wife and kids who never ended up in jail. :smiley: and also lucky that I always had a good sense of humor. Without that I might well have gone mad with all the problems had over the years.

OK, summation: I’d definitely like to be 35 again. Hell, I’d like to be 65 again, but I’m very content with what I’ve got, and consider myself lucky considering how I was brought up and the financial tribulations we suffered in the early years. I really do think the so-called Golden Years are indeed golden. In my retirement, I am as happy as a pig in shit.

What more could one want?

11

I’m 60; female.

I’m glad for the things that DO work: my brain, my hands, and my eyes (well, good enough). I’ve gotten used to the fact that there will be the ache of the day, something left over from an old injury or from things wearing out. It may be the knee that got smooshed in a car accident, or my lower back from osteoarthritis. The resulting decrease in mobility makes it hard to keep my weight under control. I sure miss the motabolism I had when I was 20, when I was chronically skinny.

The worst thing, though, is that I resent my ex-employer and certain other companies I tried to get work with, that I sincerely believe engage in age discrimination, although I can’t prove it.

12

The trouble with the future is it keeps getting closer and closer and then it’s already gone, and only then do we wonder where the time went.

You know you’re old when you bend over to tie your shoe and wonder what else you can do since you’re already bent over.

In my mid 30s I’ve had dozens of offers for senior discounts, by people who should know better. I mean I don’t mind if the girl is 18, after all when I was 18 anyone over 25 looked ancient, but on the other hand I also have people who swear I look 29. Those are the friends I am keeping.

The worst thing about getting old is the loss of the ability to bargain with time. Ever notice how we take cabs, nuke our food or send mail priority, but time marches on anyway.

So I guess the message from the media is now you’re over the hill when you’re 30.

But then let’s face it, if life were TV, teenagers would be 25, mom and dad would be 33, and grandma would be a horny 85 year old with an incredibly active sex life BUT portrayed by a 50 year old. And no one ever did drugs and somehow everyone in everyshow was at Woodstock.

Back in vaudeville there was a woman called Sophie Tucker. For 50 years she was billed as “the last of the red hot mamas.” The first time I heard this my first thought was, that is a long time to be a red hot mama. My second thought was “That’s a long time to be the LAST of anything as well.”

But Sophie was cool, she knew if she was to be a success she had to age with her act. Though she was never the slender glamour girl she used to sing a song called “If You Can’t See Mama Every Night (You Can’t See Mama At All),” this was fine when she was still young and curvaceous. You just looked at her and knew she had the “stuff” that she didn’t have to put up with anything from a man who didn’t see her side and the song worked.

Decades later she was still “the last of the red hot mamas,” but old wrinkled and to put it charitably fat. BUT and here’s the great thing, she now sang the same song but with a pistol in each hand. And it worked; of course now we knew what would happen if didn’t see your mama every night one of those pistols just might go off.

Still aging isn’t so bad, think about it even before you’re born, while in the womb, your cells divide die off. So it’s good to age, especially when you consider the alternative and what it means NOT to age.

:slight_smile:

13

Not to be nitpicky, but a lot of old people don’t have money.

14

Me too, and I have to keep in mind that not everyone will be open to this. When I was 30, I thought I knew everything, and I didn’t listen to older people enough.

MLS, me too, again, about employers. I don’t know if they’re threatened or if they’re worried we’ll break a hip on the clock (which I did awhile back).

I’m 62, smoking, not eating right, and not as active as I should be. But except for an occasional ache from the pins in my hip, I feel pretty good. I rarely catch cold and have never had the flu. No chronic health issues.

But I stay inside when it’s icy out and I don’t look forward to extended family gatherings, so winter isn’t my favorite time.

My kids seem to appreciate me more, and that makes up for any negatives. I don’t stress as much, about anything. After awhile, you sorta know how things will turn out so you can plan for them. Nature still surprises me, but people don’t.

15

You Know You’re Getting Old When…

Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
Your back goes out more than you do.
The twinkle in your eye is only the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.
You feel like the morning after when you haven't been anywhere the night before.
You finally got your head together, now your body is falling apart.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
You wake up with that morning-after feeling and you didn't do anything the night before.
You don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't have to go along.
It takes twice as long to look half as good.
Many of your co-workers were born the same year that you got your last promotion.
People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
You can live without sex but not without glasses.
The clothes you've put away until they come back in style... have come back in style.
You look forward to a dull evening.
Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep.
The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.
You start video taping daytime game shows.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
You look for your glasses for half-an-hour, then find they've been on your head all the time.
You wake up, looking like your driver's license picture.
Happy hour is a nap.
You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."
You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
You don't remember when your wild oats turned to shredded wheat.
You sing along with the elevator music.
You are proud of your lawn mower.
You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't remember being on top of it.
Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
The little gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
Your ears are hairier than your head.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
You give up all your bad habits and you still don't feel good.
Your childhood toys are now in a museum.
You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
You confuse having a clear conscience with having a bad memory.
You frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread USED to cost.
You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
You got cable for the weather channel. Old Folks MTV!
Your new easy chair has more options than your car.
Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.
Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
You find yourself beginning to like accordion music.
You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
"Getting a little action" means you don't need to take a laxative.
Conversations with people your own age often turn into "dueling ailments."
You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
You take a metal detector to the beach.
The car that you bought brand new becomes an antique.
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
You realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
You don't remember being absentminded.
You have more patience; but actually, it's just that you don't care any more.
Your memory is shorter and your complaining is longer.
Your drugs of preference are now vitamins.
You tip more and carry less.
You read more and remember less.
You get propositioned by AARP.
Younger women start opening doors for you.
You begin to become invisible in the dating and mating game.
The highway patrol sigh or shake their heads but don't give you a ticket.
You scout for a warmer place to spend the long, cold winters.
You are no longer 'promising'.
Younger men ask you for advice.
You work on your short game.
Youthful injuries return with a vengeance.
Youthful indiscretions harden into bad habits.
You shop for health insurance the way you once shopped for a new car.
Your medical expenses go up 50%.
A 'late night' now ends at 11 pm.
You learn where your prostrate is.
You develop a knack for wearing hats.
    Almost everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work right.
16

Excellent posts on aging… all of them. But I’ve one more to add.

Has anyone else noticed that aging means you feel like you don’t “belong” anywhere anymore? Not whining, but it seems like there’s nowhere left that I fit in. I don’t belong in the dance halls anymore (who wants an old dude hanging around?). I don’t belong at the lake anymore, 'cause I can barely ski and gave up barefooting last year. I sure as heck don’t belong at the beach, with old skin and all the scars of the last half century showing thru my tan. I don’t seem to fit in at the trendy new bars… those seem to be for the up-and-coming young lions. The only place I seem to fit is my barcalounger :rolleyes:

re: the OPs questions; 50 yrs old, 170 lbs, 5’9", fairly good shape. (at least I’ve still got all my hair :stuck_out_tongue: )

17

I’m 54, and I don’t feel all that much different that when I was 20. A few more aches here and there, but nothing major.

18

Yeah, and since you still FEEL young on the inside, sometimes it’s awkard.

I have to consciously remember that people who look at me see a middle-aged woman, not the 25-year old image I have of myself. :stuck_out_tongue:

19

I’m 36. I consider myself young, but I’ve heard doctors describe the age of 40 as when “people no longer bounce, but break” when they have accidents. I can sorta feel that coming on a bit.

First time I felt old was in my mid-twenties, strangely enough. This was because it was the first time I’d gotten to the other end of the historical cycle. I was seen car bodies on the back of a truck headed to the scrap yard, and I remembered admiring those cars new as a kid. It was the first time I’d seen fashions come back. Basically, the first time nothing was new anymore. When I was a little kid, everything had always been there. Everything was old. The cars, the houses, the grown-ups… It was a nice constant, and very reassuring. Now there are things a lot younger than me, and it’s less reassuring. I hope that as I get older still, I will pass through that and not give a shit about it.

20

Male, 66, 175 pounds, fairly good condition—low blood pressure, low chloresterol, fairly active physically. My hands are arthritic and seem to hurt a little more each time they hurt–most of the time, they don’t hurt at all. I am far less flexible than I was ten years ago. It is becoming almost impossible for me to bend over far enough to put things in the lower cabinets; if I have to crouch or kneel for some reason, getting up is very difficult. I have all my hair, but fewer teeth.

I am much more concious of children than ever; it saddens me to hear a child crying. I hope more and more that the criminality of war will become self evident, that it will stop and that all young people will be allowed to have their time. I am much more aware of the value of the relationship I have with my darling Marcie; my time with her is more and more precious. I am also less and less tolerant of organized religion, no matter what denomination. I’m also much more concious of beauty, wherever it is found.

If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t do it.