So, when do people start to feel old? -Let me tell you a few things about me before you answer that…
Years ago, I loved going out, hitting bars and clubs, knocking back enough beer (and shooters) to stop a bull, and waking up in strange rooms.
Today, I’d rather stay home with my dog, watch A&E and enjoy a late-night Whiskey & Coke on the rocks.
Years ago I was considerably thinner. I’ve put on quite a few pounds in recent years. Not overall body weight, but more or less pot-belly weight.
I (or more accurately, my wife) has noticed white hair. Not grey hair…WHITE. They are a totally different texture and shape to my other hairs, and can stick out quite noticeably. This is of course in the hair I seem to have left. I’m no Gordon Jump just yet, but the hairline is starting to creep back a little in the ‘corners’ (above my eyes).
Of course, I don’t seem to be losing much hair; as what has departed from my head seems to be sprouting-up on my back, shoulders and in my ears.
I can’t stand young people. 18-20 years olds in thier souped-up Honda’s make me want to just throttle them. I can’t look at some fat punk-kid in his baby-blue, over-sized silk basketball outfit with his stupid hat askew and not want to push him onto the subway tracks for the good of mankind. God help him if that hat still has the tags on!
My tastes have also changed. While I still like the music I grew up with, I find myself listening to Jazz. Mostly soft vocal jazz, not so much the brassy Glenn Miller-esque stuff (-then there’s the fact that I can actually make that distinction, that ads to my cause for alarm). I also saw ‘Chicago’ with the wife…and liked it.
Then there’s TV. While hockey still reigns supreme in my household, I find myself wrapped up in documentary programs on A&E, The History Channel, or TLC. This didn’t really register as weird until today when I actually noticed the commercials on these shows. Home medication delivery. Assisted seeing devices. Artritis medications. Hair colour. Ads for various elixers offering relief from an varying aches and pains. The scariest part for me is that I actually found myself intigued by the silver-haired gentlemen offering relief for my sore joints.
I wear glasses. Up until this year, I had perfect vision. 20/20. Then, very suddenly, I noticed I couldn’t read distant street signs. Then I degenerated to an inability to read the license plate of the car in front of me. Now, I can’t drive without my glasses.
I’m also 27 years old.
So, what’s wrong with me? Am I getting older before my time? When is this stuff supposed to happen? I always thought it wouldn’t be before my 30th birthday! Anybody out there a victim of this ‘rapid aging’?