I Forget How Old I Am

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I am a very healthy 67 year old woman (no chronic health issues, low blood pressure, etc). My mind is still clear, though I think too fast and cannot always keep up as I did in my youth. I have all my financial house in order, DNR, will, trust, etc. I am not intellectually brilliant as are so many here on SD, but I am at least above average in intelligence (as they say in Lake Woebegone), and although I cannot always articulate a viewpoint, I can read and understand complex ideas. I am an artist, and do a little bit of that, not for money, but for the joy of it. I had to have a day job, though, so my art suffered but now I am retired and can do as I please with my time.

But very good friends are beginning to sicken, and a few have died. Wonderful people, who partied a bit too much, but were great to be around. I suppose that I feel so youthful and energetic that I feel such a shock when I realize I am pushing 70, and well, that is not young. I might not have many years left, even with my good health. A very healthy friend died of cancer a few years ago, so I don’t think I am immune from terminal illness, not in the slightest.

I don’t let it depress me, but I get into a line of thinking that I will be here to see how things turn out with this country, with my family…etc. Then the shock comes that, “You probably won’t be around in 2040, etc.” I don’t feel upset about it exactly, but frustrated. I am greedy to stay alive, in other words, and that is a good way to put it: my daughter in law died young, and left my son a widow, and other young people I know have passed much too soon. And here I am, longing to live forever when I am lucky to be alive at all, when others should be here in place of me, and yeh…such is the random cruelty of the universe, I know.

Somehow, I must accept my own mortality. I have many blessings, and can still enjoy them, and must do so. Death comes when it does, so it is said. It is disappointing that I won’t know how some stories end, but that is just how it is. I really think that death is the end, no afterlife, no nothing.

But I am trying to embrace reality, and remind myself not to worry about the future in 10 or 20 years, but it is difficult. Does anyone have any ideas, thoughts, or even harsh truths as a response to my musings?

I also spend alot of time with grandchildren, and that connects me to the future. I love them dearly, and help out their parent so that they will fun in their life. But will I see them as parents, themselves? (See what I mean, I am longing to see how they turn out, but maybe I won’t).

And in death, I won’t know the pain of the separation from life and all its goodies, anyway. I should just get myself together.

2

I think this is normal.

Mortality thoughts are always upsetting.
Yeah, we won’t be around to see the grandkids mature and move into adult life.
See the future unfold.

Well, I won’t.
I’m past my use-by date.

In the wee hours, I fret. But mostly I push it back. It’s not like we can change it.

I like this part better than struggling in my youth. Dealing with my disease has been lifelong. It took me many years to accept that reality is just what it is. I’m not good at it, but I try to just accept it.

My biggest fear is my pets. No one would ever love them like I do. I know their idiosyncraties. Some one else might not understand that “smarl” on my dogs face is not any form of viciousness, just opposite, he’s embarrassed how much he loves me.

I would love a puppy at the moment. It’s just not a good idea. I’ll probably not see another pet fully grown.

I’m not your age, but I understand you.

Sounds trite, but just enjoy each day. The best you can.

3

Could be worse. You could be Mariah Carey and refuse to acknowledge birthdays because you don’t acknowledge the existence or passage of time.

4

I’m 73, so you’re just a child. :grinning_face: Instead of feeling old, I feel like I can’t possibly be my calendar age. I see plenty of things online and in the media how I’m supposed to be too old for certain things, but I don’t believe them. Sure I can’t walk as far as I used to because my feet get tired, but I don’t get out of breath. I expect to be around in 2040 (if any of us are around) and I expect you will also.
Are you happy with how your life has gone? I am, and count this time as a bonus. I figure I’ve won if I keel over tomorrow.
I hope you are enjoying retirement. We have so much more time to do the stuff we love.
I’m glad there is no afterlife. How horrible it would be to see tragedy and not be able to help. Or to not care about it. On the other hand, it is a bit comforting to know I won’t have to deal with the climate situation in 2100. (I ain’t lasting that long) not that this excuses me from helping now.
So, act young now and you’ll feel young in a few years when you actually get old.

5

I nearly died last year, so that has made me think a bit about my own mortality. And you are very fortunate that you don’t have health issues. I have a few, so that factors into my thoughts as well.

I don’t feel old, but I have grandkids and I’m old enough to remember watching the first moon landing on TV, So intellectually, I know I’m old, but mentally I don’t feel it. But then I find myself not able to do a lot of things physically that I used to be able to do. I get tired very quickly when I’m doing woodworking or working on one of my cars.

It’s funny how part of my mind knows that I’m old and yet another part of my mind seems to be in denial about the whole thing.

I have three antique cars, and two of them are older than I am, so that makes me feel a little younger. :slight_smile:

6

If you’ve got good blood pressure, no chronic illnesses, and you’re still mentally sharp then there’s no good reason to think you won’t make it to 2040. You’ll only be 82, and almost 50% of women in the US make it to 82. Hell, with a bit of luck you might see 2050!

7

Well, there’s the approach of Dunbar in Catch-22, who seeks out the most boring situations he can, since he believes being bored, while not actually slowing down time, makes it seem much longer.

My only other suggestion is to cultivate a belief that consciousness is eternal.

8

I don’t wanna be eternally conscious.

I’d rather be unconscious right now, in fact.

9

That’s what I always think of! Sometimes literally, as in, what if I die before the next book in a series comes out. But usually I think that I’d hate to die with the world in its current situation, and I’d never know if we could have turned things around.

On the other hand, I might have another 45 years left in me. Ugh, that’s an awful thought. It’s been a long strange trip already.

10

I’ll be 65 in November (hopefully.) At times it is somewhat sobering to see how few folk I know who are in really good shape in their 80s. I play golf and music with some octogenarians, so I can see myself continuing to do those activities, but there is no question that I have far fewer years ahead of me than behind me.

OTOH, when I try to look back 20 years to when I was 45, that seems SO LONG ago, that another 20 years seems like plenty.

Life is quite long. And while I’m not in any rush to end it, nor do I feel I need to squeeze every drop of excitement/enrichment out of it. I just intend to eat and act in ways intended to keep me as relatively physically and mentally fit as I can be, and when/if the quality of life dips below a level I wish, I’ll bid you all adieu.

11

I have always had this obsession with leaving a clean plate. I have always lived my life as if I could die at any moment. But I never think about death. When leaving work each evening ( I ran a truck repair shop) I would always ask myself if I didn’t make it back would it inconvenience any of my customers. I am almost 77 now and the most important thing I have to think about is I don’t want to leave my son a bunch of worthless relics that he might feel guilty about trashing. I put little notes on things he might want to save but not to feel guilty if he chooses not to. I do think more about my legacy than I ever did before. I have no hesitation to plant a fruit tree that might take 5 or 10 years to bare. I do spend some time contemplating what might be construed as a spirit. I still like romance and being romantic. I endlessly am inventing things on paper and occasionally taking them a step further. I detest small talk but am always willing to partake a bit hoping it will lead to something more interesting. As my testosterone drops my behavior gets better but I kind of miss being a bad boy. Other than that I really haven’t changed much.

12

66 and living as fast as I can. My motto: “You’re only as old as you behave.”

What matters is not the number of years, but the amount of living you crammed into them. Worrying about lacking immortality or how the world will be different in 200 years is simply spending your / my precious energy and precious seconds on stuff that is unrewarding to you / me.

It may indeed be your / my destiny to have a shitty medical event and a few years of misery followed by a relatively early demise. But if so, until it actually happens worrying about that today doesn’t prevent or postpone it; arguably it makes it more likely. It surely detracts from the value you / I could otherwise get out of today. So don’t do that.

Cultivate the beliefs and behaviors that bring you / me joy, not worry.


It’s actually better than that. 50% of newborn women make it to 82. Ladies who’ve already got 67 years in the bag live even longer to statistically offset the ones who didn’t live as long

A 67yo US woman has a 50% shot of living another 18-1/2 years. That’s age 85 to 86. And the 50/50 survival point for a 67yo woman who’s healthy now are surely skewed even higher.

SSA - Actuarial Life Table

13

I turned 78 this past May. Prior to the past few years, the changing of age didn’t bother me, as I was still active, doing woodworking and gardening, and walking several miles didn’t bother me. These past few years I’ve felt more of the aging process, even though I’m not ill. It recently struck me that my oldest son will be, on his next birthday, old enough to move into this 55+ facility. I have some restless nights that make getting up in the morning an effort, and the encroaching arthritis makes things ache.

I find that I’m not as apprehensive about death. It happens to us all, and I just hope it’s not from a prolonged illness.

I do forget how old I am on occasion and find myself trying to pick up or move something that I shouldn’t, and am quickly reminded that I don’t have that sort of strength anymore. I walk unassisted and exercise several times a week, which helps things.

14

To quote the old cliché: Old age is a bugger, but the alternative is worse.

15

I’m 67 and physiologically older than my chronology due to bad genes, accidents and bad luck. That includes a heart attack at age 39, 3 decades of diabetes (well controlled all along but even then a toll on the body is taken), one serious plane crash and two other traumatic accidents with significant musculoskeletal injuries and persistent pain and mild but progressive dysfunction due to that, an aggressive cancer requiring radiation and hormone blockade therapy which resulted in more musculo-skeletal deterioration, and I must say I am FEELING IT these days. I’ve a neighbor who’s 95 who frankly is more spry than I am.

Some days are an effort but I still enjoy them, and the Mrs (who is also my age but also has a couple of debilitating progressive diseases) and I have just re-set our expectations. No zip lining in the jungles or diving on the reefs of Costa Rica (the beaches are quite fine there, as are the hot springs and snorkeling), no hikes anymore up or down the tougher trails in the park, but the observation decks and graded trails are pretty nice, no watching the running of the bulls in Pamplona, but Milwaukee has some nice tapas joints. Adjusting expectations has been key for us, along with accepting reality. All bleeding stops, and nobody gets out alive.

16

You’d only be 82.

Of course, one of the things that goes with being 74 is producing such phrases as “only 82.” However, barring some form of disaster, somebody who’s healthy at 67 has quite a good chance of seeing 82.

([scrolls down] Oh, @WalterBishop [scrolls down further] and @LSLGuy already said that? Well, I’m 74. Doesn’t that mean that I get to repeat things?)

But that will happen even if you could live to 500 or 1000. Or older.

The only way it could ever not happen would be if there would never be any new stories. About anything, told by anybody, with a really huge sense used for the word “anybody.” Which would be terrible; far more terrible, IMO, than me dying.

(And it’s a good thing I know that me dying isn’t The Worst Possible Thing. Because I’m gonna have to, even if I do make it to 2040, which from my age and health condition is kind of unlikely, though possible.)

Sure. If I don’t get to eat the fruit, somebody else might. I eat, and enjoy, fruit from trees planted by people now long dead.

I probably shouldn’t get any more kittens. But I’m not responsible for the age of the cats who come and meow at my door. And I got a puppy three years ago. (I do have provisions made for them to be rehomed if/when needed.)

17

I am glad I did wild, adventurous things in my youth. Now in my early 60’s, even before being diagnosed with cancer (treatment is going well at the moment, so much reason for optimism) I was slowing down. Fortunately, I have many interest involving less or minimum physical stress and risk that I’m now enjoying more of.

I’m still in many ways healthy and fit, but I find that I’m slowing down, take longer to recover from minor injuries, and my peak strength isn’t what it used to be. Well, there is only one alternative to getting older and I’m not ready for that. I’m trying to keep as strong and healthy as I can for as long as possible.

18

I’ll be 64 in about a month. I have 7 grandkids and the first great on the way! I will sometimes think, will I be around when the youngest gets married? Maybe but I’ll be really old. Will I see them all graduate? I could, I hope to. After my husband and I did our estate planning (believe me, there isn’t much but if we don’t have to use the house for elderly care that alone will be worth quite a bit) I thought to myself I’m excited that the kids will get something. Then I thought, I won’t be around to see them enjoy it!
I’m not afraid to die. I’m a Christian and believe there is something after and I believe that I will be united with the loved ones that went before me. I want to hug my son again. So I’m not worried about that part. I’m more worried about how it will happen. I think of that a lot. I’m very healthy and active, but things can happen with a snap of a finger. I think of myself being just like I am today when I’m older. But I could be blind, have dementia, get cancer, be bed ridden. Who knows what’s around the corner?

19

I just turned 65 and at times I feel like Im 47 but all I need to to counteract that is sit on the floor and see how easy it is to get up.

20

This thread needs a theme song.