Apparently the people at some hearing loss outfit think highly enough of me - a complete stranger and non-customer - to send me a Christmas card. Chokes me right the fuck up, it does.
Both ways? 
Wow, weren’t the clothes moldy by the time they got back?
I practically rip the knob/button off the radio when “Grandma got run over by a reindeer” comes on. Or most other Christmas songs. I can stand about 4 of them.
Funnily enough, we moved to a house here that manages to be uphill on the homeward leg wherever I go. On the plus side, we’ll NEVER get flooded here, perched as we are on the crest of all the hills. 
I yelled at a neighbour yesterday - I was walking home (uphill, into the wind) with my grocery cart, when I was stopped by a family that had their minivan parked right over the sidewalk. There was deep snow on one side of them, and deep snow and ruts and crap on the other side of them - my little shopping cart doesn’t do snow well. I waited a reasonable time for them to get off the sidewalk (they had finished unloading, and the driver was now just sitting behind the wheel); after a minute or so, I yelled, “Are you going to move or WHAT?” He proceeded to continue to block the entire sidewalk, so I trundled my cart through the deep snow and ruts and crap, glaring at him all the while. Seriously, what the hell is the matter with people? You don’t park right across the sidewalk, period, much less just sit there while pedestrians are waiting for you to get the fuck OFF the sidewalk.
Shining a spotlight on the front of your house and hanging a few wreaths does not constitute Christmas decorations.
How about ONE wreath and no spotlights?
'Cause that’s all I do.
Hey, someone has to preserve the bell curve.
Yeah that’s alright. Wreaths are good. Spotlights not so good.
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Hey, Trader Joe’s - how about ordering more than a dozen boxes of your frozen latkes for the week that Hannukah starts? I was looking forward to that for dinner last night, and you say you won’t have any more until Friday? Super lame. (wrong holiday, I know)
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STOP WITH THE FUCKING CHRISTMAS MUSIC I HATE IT I HATE YOU TURN IT OFF OR I WILL SET YOUR FACE ON FIRE. ALL OF YOU. YES EVEN YOU STUPID CHILDREN’S CHOIR SCHEDULED TO PERFORM AT THE MALL. CHILDREN ARE FLAMMABLE TOO.
2a. I’m not offended by the religious content because most of it isn’t even fucking religious, I’m offended because the music fucking sucks. Bing Crosby singing Silent Night: not something I seek out, but tolerable. Stupid STD-riddled vapid pop star whore warbling some bullshit about snowmen or santa or bells? I want to fucking kill everyone involved in the writing and production of that bullshit.
THANK YOU. That’s exactly what I came here to vent about. Fucking christmas music sucks gristly yeti dingus to begin with, so a new version of Frosty the Mother Fucking Snowman, chock full of auto-tuned Katy Perry or candy-assed John Mayer or caterwauling, melismic Beyonce isn’t actually an improvement…it’s compounding the audio hell by about nine gazillion percent. It provokes an unbelievable rage reaction in me. I refuse to voluntarily enter any retail establishment for the rest of the year. :mad::mad::mad:
They’re really easy to make. You know that, right?
Not that I could tell, but it was rather dry and chilly in the laundry room.
Three-step solution. 1. New rule in the house: no live TV watching. 2. DVR the episodes. 3. ANOTHER new rule: he can only watch them whe you’re out of the house doing something on your own.
- He watches sports. Thus, live TV. 2. We don’t have a DVR, and I’m not that interested in getting one, though I might be driven to it. 3. I am basically housebound on a regular basis, and CAN’T get out of the house for weeks and sometimes months at a time, for medical reasons.
And 4. The noise from this computer bothers HIM, too. Especially when I’m playing something like Civ and airbombing the other tribes back into the Stone Age.
He has a right to enjoy himself in this house. He just doesn’t have the right to unduly disturb me, nor I him.
Huh. Okay, let me see if I can think of something else.
Actually, the headphones idea sounds pretty good. And if you get two pairs, your computer gaming doesn’t have to bug him.
When you hear the ad say: “Brought to you by Noel-co”, do you twitch a little? I do. 
To my kids; If I want to watch a Yeti, I’ll grab The Empire Strikes Back. At least it has decent effects.
I feel for ya, Lynn.
If I could just get the answer to who a pissed off I would f’n buy them flowers. Cause I am tired of this constant large outlay of money for everything, could thing quit breaking for awhile and just let me get a breather on the budget? Do I look like I am made of money? Cause life obviously thinks I am.
My husband accidentally charged my Christmas present on our credit card. To a store where I definitely know what he got me. 
No surpise for me Christmas morning.
Like **Chefguy **pointed out, latkes are so fucking easy to make that it probably took you more time to find an employee to ask when they’d have more in stock than it would to just have made some.
Look bitch, I’m sorry you left your coupons at home but you “can’t still use them anyway.” This isn’t fucking Wal-Mart, this is a privately-owned (franchise) restaurant and the owner keeps tabs on all discounts - we have to have the actual coupon. Why the fuck would you even ask such a goddamned stupid fucking question anyway? Try walking into your bank and cashing a paycheck that you “left at home.” See where that gets you.
Same goes for you bitch number two. I don’t care if you can show me an internet coupon on your cellphone. If you can’t print it out you’re fucking screwed. Eat shit and die.
Look you little fucking goddamned asshole cocksucking little prick punk lazy stoner teenage piece of white trash, I’ve asked you to wipe that goddamned wall down about ten fucking times. It’s a job that takes two minutes to do and requires little effort and yet you’ve spent hours trying to avoid doing it. You’ve expended much more energy avoiding this task then if you’d just fucking do it. And you’ve got the nerve to tell me to “like, quit bitching at me dude!” Maybe I’ll call the cops and let them know about that stash you’ve got in your pocket. How would you like that you little cocksucker? Would that wipe that stupid smirk off your face? And I heard that crack about my not having a girlfriend. I just got divorced and I’m not ready to jump back in the pool yet okay? And so what if YOU have a girlfriend. Doesn’t make you cooler or more of a man than me. I know who your girlfriend is and what kind of person she is. Her vagina ain’t exactly Fort Knox you know. I’m gonna laugh my ass off when you become baby daddy number three. Fuck you, fuck your tattoos, fuck your piercings. Fuck your stupid immature outlook on life. And fuck the fact that you’re the son of one of my best friends. This guy took you on like you were his own son and you fucking steal from him to support your pot habit. That’s fucking low.
Oh, and Merry Fucking Christmas.